Today, I took my dog to the park. It had recently rained, and he started rolling in something unidentifiable. When I got home, I discovered it was a mixture of mud and who knows what else. Now my house smells like a swamp. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, after frolicking in some long grass near a lake, my dog got back in the car smelling strongly of poop. Upon further investigation, I discovered that a sewer had overflowed in the area. My dog rolled around in human faeces. FML
Today, I took my dog for a walk in the park. I was enjoying the fresh air until my dog spotted a squirrel and took off running. I ended up getting dragged through the mud and had to walk home covered in dirt and scratches. FML
Today, I took my dog to the park. He ran straight into a muddy pond, came back to shake himself off, and got mud all over my freshly cleaned white hoodie. A stranger passing by gave us a thumbs up and said, “Good boy!” I'm not sure who he was talking to. FML
Today, while dogsitting for a friend, I took their overly excitable dog to the park. The moment I unleashed him, he bolted, and I ended up chasing him for what felt like miles. When I finally caught him, I was covered in mud and my pants had a huge tear in them. FML
Today, I took my new puppy to the dog park, proud of my cute little fluff ball. Instead of behaving nicely like the other dogs present, my dog ignored every toy, treat and friendly dog, and ran straight into a pond. He emerged soaked, covered in mud, and proudly dropped a muddy stick at my feet like it was a trophy. FML
Today, while finishing up raking leaves, I decided it would be a fun idea to jump into them. After rolling around in the leaves for a bit, I smelled something funny. Turns out I was rolling around in dog shit. FML
Today, my dog took a dump beside the air intake for our furnace. The house now smells like dog crap. FML
Today, I'm dog-sitting. To give the pooches some exercise, I took them on a long walk through the fields, where they run, play, and sniff around to their hearts’ content. Thirty seconds after coming back home, one of them made a ginormous puddle right on my living room floor. FML
Today, I came home to find that my dog had taken a dump on my bed. I quickly put on my house shoes to avoid possibly stepping on any other of his turds. I felt something squish all over my right foot. He'd also taken a dump in my house shoe. FML
Today, I woke up early in the morning when it was still dark to go off to work. I saw what looked like a piece of slime that my children would play with and went to pick it up. Nope. Turns out it was puppy shit. Wet, slimy puppy waste. FML
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Top comments
RichardPencil 32
It's not unidentifiable and I know what. I'm not going to ruin your day by spilling the beans, but it sounds like a... ...wait on it... ...shitty situation.
D J's MOM 17
please, please tell me why on God's green earth did you not either hose him off outside or take him strait to the tub for a bath. ydi for letting him sink up the house.. just sayin...
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Comments (3)
RichardPencil 32
It's not unidentifiable and I know what. I'm not going to ruin your day by spilling the beans, but it sounds like a... ...wait on it... ...shitty situation.
D J's MOM 17
please, please tell me why on God's green earth did you not either hose him off outside or take him strait to the tub for a bath. ydi for letting him sink up the house.. just sayin...
Yudith 28
Maybe he's got the kind of house/apartment where you go directly from the sidewalk to the porch, with the bathroom located in the back for good measure. It also sounds like the kind of dog who is too big to carry into our arms, and those dogs love to shake themselves in the hallway. He could maybe have brought a pail of water to the sidewalk to wash the dog, but this good boy would certainly have wanted to follow his master all the way to the broom closet where the pail is, so what's the point?
Hangryko 32
Dog shenanigans like this is why I'm a cat person. Anyway, YDI for letting your dog roll around in that crap.