Today, I was looking after my parents house and their wiener dog, and fell asleep on the couch. The dog climbed onto my shoulders and rested behind my head like a doggie neck pillow. All was great until she farted right in my left ear. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was having a horrible day. I was laying on the couch, crying, when my dog came up on the couch to console me. I was thinking about how great it was to have a dog, because they're there for you when no one else is. As I was sobbing, I heard something. My dog farted into my mouth. Twice. FML
Today, I was laying on a couch with my dog watching TV when I heard my dog fart. I looked at her, she looked at me and started waving her tail, blowing it into my direction. FML
Today, my dog farted so loud in his sleep that he scared himself and woke up barking. This afternoon I achieved the same feat. FML
Today, I was laying my head on my dad's dog when he walked in. I jokingly asked my dad, "I'm cuddling with your dog, are you jealous?" At that same moment, the dog lets a massive, earth-quaking fart loose, and my dad promptly responded, "Nope!" FML
Today, I had the most rancid fart. My dog woke up from his nap and bit me as punishment. FML
Today, my husband compared me to his parents' dog. Why? Because when I sleep, I fart and scare myself awake. Just like his parents' dog. FML
Today, while I was sitting in a waiting room to be seen, my service dog (who was tucked under the bench I was sitting) let out the most vile, silent but deadly fart. The person near me retched and heaved, and I got death glares while someone sprayed their old lady perfume to mask the smell. FML
Today, my dog farted. Immediately, he turned around to sniff his stink then furiously licked his butthole. He then licked my nose. FML
Today, I saw my dog sleeping, so I laid next to her and put her arm around my neck to be cute. Only for her to wake up and bite my nose. FML
Today, I was napping with my boyfriend and his dog. The dog was making odd coughing noises, but my boyfriend refused to kick him out of the bed. A few moments later, I rolled onto my stomach, into a pile of dog vomit. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
malarky 0
i seriously lol'd when i read that.
tiki_92090 0
that is all dachshunds do. :)
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (32)
tiki_92090 0
that is all dachshunds do. :)
HamsteronA 0
I'm like da pic
malarky 0
i seriously lol'd when i read that.
SiLveRStaRLIGHT 0
My dachshund does that! Oh my GOD it's the WORST!
flyfar54 0
I'm sorry, but that sounds so cute! LOL
bdirrrtyy 0
Haha that's my FML on a daily basis. Accept they're my dogs, and they're boston terriers.
twilax101 0
OMFG IN YOUR EAR?! EFF YOUR LIFE! ..... Yes, i use sarcasm.
neezie 0
In my neck of the woods we call that the whistling whinthrop.
angelpie1234567 0
I would forgive a weiner dog if it did that to me, cause they're SOOO CUTE! :D
youjustmademelol 4
Yeah, most dogs could get away with murder with cuteness. Gotta love 'em!
mhm_megann 0
lmfao, wiener dog. Ive never heard a 'sausage' dog called a wiener dog before hahahahaha It sounds so strange !
lil_ham1644 29
I've never heard "sausage dog" before. Where are you from?
c00lsk8erboi 7
lol at least it didn't shit or piss
skyttlz 32
True.