Swabidizop
Greeley, United States
Today, I had the most rancid fart. My dog woke up from his nap and bit me as punishment. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Anonymous
United States
Alarm
Today, my dog farted so loud in his sleep that he scared himself and woke up barking. This afternoon I achieved the same feat. FML
aaalias34
United States
Today, my dog farted. Immediately, he turned around to sniff his stink then furiously licked his butthole. He then licked my nose. FML
Wowsers.
United Kingdom
Today, I was woken up by my own fart. FML
nullpointer
San Francisco, United States
Today, I farted so loud that my cat thought that I was growling at him, and bit me in self-defense. FML
nightmare ass
Today, I let out the most vile, nose-melting dairy curdling fart of my life. The sound didn’t wake me up. But the nightmare I had from how rank smelling it was sure did. My own fart ruined my sleep. FML
Keyser Soze
Today, I was cleaning out the cabinets under my kitchen sink and I farted with such force that my dog thought someone was knocking at the door. FML
Anonymous
Bad boy
Today, I went home for lunch. Upon opening the door, I smelled something horrid. My dog had opened his cage, eaten all the dog treats, and had diarrhea all over my bed and bedroom floor. FML
pikachu
United States
Today, my girlfriend farted in her sleep, woke me up because it was so damn loud, and my room smelt like rotten noodles for about an hour. FML
BadBreath
United States
Today, I was having a horrible day. I was laying on the couch, crying, when my dog came up on the couch to console me. I was thinking about how great it was to have a dog, because they're there for you when no one else is. As I was sobbing, I heard something. My dog farted into my mouth. Twice. FML
Noname
United States
Today, I was looking after my parents house and their wiener dog, and fell asleep on the couch. The dog climbed onto my shoulders and rested behind my head like a doggie neck pillow. All was great until she farted right in my left ear. FML
Top comments
hafyyyy 17
i guess he isnt sleeping when youre around anymore.
Cass_x 22
Aww poor dog. You woke him.
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Comments (57)
AndyPurdy 31
HAHAHA that bites
jk_waks23 19
This is hilarious! ?
tranced_ 45
Your dog punishes you for farting? better fart when he's not around!
sunnyskys 25
Dutch oven. he's going to bake your ass tonight as payment.
theTravinator 21
You could always use The Dog Whisperer approach- just make weird zappy noises and poke him while simultaneously ripping deadly farts.
abNormal62 23
Wow! Just wow! Dogs greet and meet other dogs by sniffing their butts to decide whether to be friends, and you got that reaction? Clearly you just got unfriended, my friend by man's former best friend? Lol
gracehi 33
You offended the sensibilities of a creature that eats its own shit? Impressive.
fatman1970 25
He probably thought you would blame it on him!
chalalala_fml 2
I'm just imagining the scene, this is great, well not for you but it's so hilarious
ally8 21
Must've been a stinker