Today, my friends showed me a video of me blind drunk last night, getting into a fight with my front door. The door won, unlike my face. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I woke up in hospital after a night of heavy drinking. My friends told me I was beat up by the doorman. After going to the club to watch the security footage, it was revealed I actually fell on my face trying to fight, and caused more damage to myself. FML
Today, the pictures from last night's party were put on Facebook. The pictures that show me getting in a drunken fight with a girl and her putting my face through the wall. FML
Today, I got into a nasty fight, and ended up leaving with a black eye. The fight was with a champagne bottle cork. I was opening the bottle to celebrate the New Year, at home, alone. FML
Today, while at a local bar, my friends and I were approached by an overly intoxicated man who asked us each politely if we wanted to fight. Thinking it was a joke, I said yes. It wasn't a joke, I now have a broken nose and a black eye. FML
Today, I was trying to convince a friend that even though I'm blonde, I'm not the oblivious or stupid moron everyone apparently thinks I am. Then I smacked face-first into a glass door. FML
Today, I gave the back door a slight nudge to make sure it was latched shut. Of course, it flew wide open, causing me to smash my face into the doorframe, fall out onto the back porch writhing in pain, and have blood pissing out of my face. FML
Today, a drunk in a wheelchair tried to fight me. I walked away as he kept hurling insults. He then rammed his chair into my legs, making me fall. I walked away again. Upon the second time, I got up and punched him dead in his face, knocking him backward. I was tackled to the ground for hitting him. FML
Today, during a major argument with my girlfriend, I shoved a door open, which then rebounded and hit me in the face. I'm not sure which is more pathetic: that I was savaged by a door, or that I made up a story about kicking a mugger's ass to explain the huge black eye to my coworkers. FML
Today, I lost my house keys while staggering home drunk, so I decided to climb through an opened window and promptly went to bed. Twenty minutes later the police wake me up while attempting to search my place. The neighbors thought I was a burglar and called the cops. FML
Today, I got so drunk that I tasered myself in the balls as a joke, fell down my friend's porch stairs and rolled out into the street. FML
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Top comments
BananaCoconutty 26
You should have "knocked" out the door
milehigh52 22
You took that “I ran into a door" excuse a little too far.
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Comments (49)
BananaCoconutty 26
You should have "knocked" out the door
imhope 23
$15!
trevorr_16 25
Trying to delete this comment, how do you do it?
trevorr_16 25
Sorry I was trying to put something funny, but it ended up being stupid, but I don't know how to delete a comment because I'm a dummy as of FML. Get as many downvotes as possible!
laden_swallow09 35
In Soviet Russia, door knocks you!
rieebee 23
Link?
saymynamess 19
Starting the bid with $5.45 for the video?
DemHaxBro 20
I will bid €6.90
QuaDECH 13
Ten dollars.
milehigh52 22
You took that “I ran into a door" excuse a little too far.
Ramos808 29
How exactly does one get this drunk?
sturschaedel 27
Yeah, it's not as if there aren't enough clues on the way there, that tell you you have passed the stage of "pleasantly buzzed" and are about to enter "I'll clearly regret this tomorrow". It's all about knowing when to stop.
JustinJK 21
Sometimes you're having too much fun and before you know it, you're belligerently drunk. Shots. shots. shots.
not_your_taco 15
Work hard, play hard. Or hit the door hard.
iPixelCheese 19
"And today in this type of a lifetime will say Mr. OP versus the door!" "Oh and OP three the first punch, no, make that two, three!" "Oh the door retaliates! That looks like OP is dazed!" "Oh and OP kicks the door, and he comes back and pummels OP!" "Down goes OP! Down goes OP! The door is the champ!!!"
feytensn 25
I hope the door doesn't have too much pain
badassmf1234 22
At least your friends were nice enough to take a video of you getting hurt instead of helping you
a1_z9 10
Not saying this was the case because they were probably just too busy laughing, but it's a common tactic of friends of an alcoholic to film them while drunk so they can see how stupid they look.
ohSNAPyall 27
They are helping him for the future.
MassiDelta 28
He fought the door, and the door won
deathshead 19
there is a song in there somewhere... I think I'll just replace door with law... totally original, never been done before... I'll be rich and famous, I can feel it.