Today, I had the best sex of our relationship with my boyfriend. Afterwards, he took off his condom, looked me sweetly in the eyes for a few moments, then decided to slap me in the face with it. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, after having sex with my boyfriend, he triumphantly flung the condom to the ceiling, only to have it come down and smack me in the face. FML
Today, my boyfriend asked me for a blow job. After I said "no" over ten times, he decided to get up and slap me across the face with his penis. FML
Today, my boyfriend got out of the shower and tried to hit my forehead with his penis. He slipped and slapped me in the eye with it. FML
Today, I found out how mature the guy I'm seeing is. After sex, he took the condom off and hit me in the face with it. FML
Today, I thought it would be sexy to surprise my boyfriend by hiding in the closet naked and pouncing on him as he came to get his pants. I never got to the pouncing. Apparently my boyfriend has heightened reflexes so instead I got slapped hard across the face. My ear is still ringing. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having a good time. Perfect. Afterwards, he stupidly tried to pull the condom off with way too much force. It burst everywhere, splattering our faces, the bed sheets, and even the wall. Absolute disaster. We just stared at each other and laughed. Never again. FML
Today, while finally about to make love with my long-term boyfriend, he came from putting a condom on. FML
Today, after me and my boyfriend had pretty much amazing sex, he took off the condom and started swinging it back and forth, all while making the sounds of a clock and saying, "You are getting sleepy." FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having a romantic night. As we were having sex, he decided to say, "Look mom, no hands!" and it totally ruined the mood. FML
Today, I was getting freaky with my boyfriend and told him to spank me. In a seductive voice, he told me not to tell him what to do. Continuing, I asked him how he was going to punish me, to which he then replied, "I'm going to punch you straight in the face." FML
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Top comments
Welshite 40
Return the favor, but with a used tampon. It might be gross, but it'll teach him a lesson he'll never forget.
malfanese 6
Scumbag Steve...
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Comments (150)
ExplodingToaster 6
Why would anyone do that? It's not in the least bit sexy at all!
pslcdsl 9
it wasn't meant to be sexy...
FMLoverAgain 7
It's hot
Poppipuff 14
5- What was it meant for then ?
graffitied_love 20
Used condom fetish? I think not
MoneyStacks 4
I always slap girls in the face with my used condoms when I finish...
OhAidan 7
It was probably one of those things that you think would be hilarious at the time, then you're regretting it immediately after and you're wondering why the hell you just did that.
ifoundalaska 11
You don't say
thefella 10
34 - blow up dolls don't count
goldfishgod 20
I could've sworn this was already an FML.
samasara 20
57- I hate those moments..
malfanese 6
Scumbag Steve...
TheTwistedOtaku 16
What?
TourettesGuyFTW 26
Scumbag Steve, as she said...
CheeseTron 15
Nice Guy Greg because he just wanted to make it memorable.
stevenJB 25
I'm not a scumbag D:
KiddNYC1O 22
Cumbag Steve.
RedMosquito 4
Steve heard of giving facials from the other lads at school, but didn't quite grasp the concept.
CadillacPimpen 6
Some one think of a bad luck brad reference. I can't think of one at the moment. :
TourettesGuyFTW 26
Bad luck Brian wouldn't be having sex in the first place...
RaggleFrock 13
Just as bad luck Brian decides to have sex his arm falls asleep
B3Y0ND 3
140- No, Bad Luck Brian would have sex would a virgin and end up getting AIDS.
M0NK3Yz 2
u knock the cum out of him
quontag 15
She already did
DrDilllonReese 12
And that's why we wear condoms
Jeterforever 3
Oh my god I laughed out loud when I read the original post.
tebonz 4
And he knocks the cum on her ;)
patrickalamo 48
By kicking him in the balls
reginal 9
After that you should of asked him if you could throw it away and then when he wasn't looking put the cum in your hand and throw it in his face.
MrSassypants 34
Why the hell would she put it in her hand? If she was to go do something idiotic like that then she could at least be a little smart about it.
lilhellian 27
It's a reference.. But yea an eye for an eye is not a good thing.
MrSassypants 34
Then I apologize for not getting the reference.
lilhellian 27
Don't feel bad apparently you're not the only to not get it.
omet 3
Bro that is really messed up, the fact that u think of this makes u a weird perverted guy/girl
mikepzz 27
well ain't that just shitty
im_bored_tired 12
At least he didn't slap you with a limp dick. Could've been worse.
pedosmurf 7
Wouldn't it be real cummy? Hehe I failed didn't I?
pedosmurf 7
Atleast I tried? No? No? I'll just be on my way then
musicluvr2000 11
Well, ain't your punctuation shitty?
ebdeadaccount 11
Bye! ^_^
LairaIsKindaCool 6
Just stop trying Pedo
Welshite 40
Return the favor, but with a used tampon. It might be gross, but it'll teach him a lesson he'll never forget.
rhidiculous 4
Just what I was thinking...beat me to it!
kut17 11
That is among the most disgusting things I have ever heard.
SqueakyChipmunk 22
27) Evidentially, you haven't been here long.
MelTheGreat 23
The FML crew is down and dirty. Welcome.
ICastillo 25
I already see the boyfriend walking around with a blood stain on his face......
TourettesGuyFTW 26
FML might have it's mind in the gutter, but 4Chan's mind IS that very gutter!!
PinkieKeen 20
Use a pad so you can smudge his face with it,
ittybitttyme 8
Perfection!! Great revenge!!
doby199 6
You could also get some red food coloring and mayo with a clean tampon; go for effect with out the gross get your point across that it was gross and that if you really wanted to get even you could have used the real stuff but you didn't and tell him flat out that he f'ed up the moment
Stealthgasm 5
Except the fact that the condom was in you.. It's your own body fluids that was put on you, and if you **********, it's on your fingers too. Now if you slap him his a used bloody tampon, that's going way to far..
evig_fml 16
So 48, does that mean we are in 4chan's thoughts? :D
gio4467 7
Right on! That's just not cool. REVENGE!
ninjapiratejesus_fml 20
Before you take the advice of all the inevitable break up comments, just tell him that you thought it ruined the moment. Hopefully he won't do it again. Problem solved.
lilhellian 27
27. Someone got hit by a used tampon on highway. We know because it was on here.
ks23 9
throw a dirty tampon on him one day
ninjapiratejesus_fml 20
I feel like that will just encourage weird behavior. And besides, haven't you heard that two wrongs don't make a right, but two rights makes a left?
pheebs314 17
its 3 wrongs make a right... like 3 wrong turns. o.o
ninjapiratejesus_fml 20
Haha I know, I guess it's just been something I've always said without thinking it over. It's like the guy who said, "It's called an Xbox 360 because you take one look at it and then turn 360 degrees and walk away."
pheebs314 17
I haven't heard that before! Haha I like it :3 I'm a PS3 owner myself.
SarcasticUnicorn 9
-
SarcasticUnicorn 9
Oh god sorry! I actually didn't mean to put that there.
CharresBarkrey 16
95 - I don't think you got that joke, did you?
pheebs314 17
I did get it... Or I wouldn't have laughed and agreed.
teentee401 37
If you turned 360 degrees you would still be facing the XBox...
BntyHntrSeattle 30
Moment=blown.
sarawrs 13
Disgusting >.<