Today, I had the best sex of our relationship with my boyfriend. Afterwards, he took off his condom, looked me sweetly in the eyes for a few moments, then decided to slap me in the face with it. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, after having sex with my boyfriend, he triumphantly flung the condom to the ceiling, only to have it come down and smack me in the face. FML
Today, my boyfriend asked me for a blow job. After I said "no" over ten times, he decided to get up and slap me across the face with his penis. FML
Today, my boyfriend got out of the shower and tried to hit my forehead with his penis. He slipped and slapped me in the eye with it. FML
Today, I found out how mature the guy I'm seeing is. After sex, he took the condom off and hit me in the face with it. FML
Today, I thought it would be sexy to surprise my boyfriend by hiding in the closet naked and pouncing on him as he came to get his pants. I never got to the pouncing. Apparently my boyfriend has heightened reflexes so instead I got slapped hard across the face. My ear is still ringing. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having a good time. Perfect. Afterwards, he stupidly tried to pull the condom off with way too much force. It burst everywhere, splattering our faces, the bed sheets, and even the wall. Absolute disaster. We just stared at each other and laughed. Never again. FML
Today, while finally about to make love with my long-term boyfriend, he came from putting a condom on. FML
Today, after me and my boyfriend had pretty much amazing sex, he took off the condom and started swinging it back and forth, all while making the sounds of a clock and saying, "You are getting sleepy." FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having a romantic night. As we were having sex, he decided to say, "Look mom, no hands!" and it totally ruined the mood. FML
Today, I was getting freaky with my boyfriend and told him to spank me. In a seductive voice, he told me not to tell him what to do. Continuing, I asked him how he was going to punish me, to which he then replied, "I'm going to punch you straight in the face." FML
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Top comments
Welshite 40
Return the favor, but with a used tampon. It might be gross, but it'll teach him a lesson he'll never forget.
malfanese 6
Scumbag Steve...
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Comments (150)
FlyingPie 17
That was a bit of a dick move on his part.
ICastillo 25
OP's boyfriend: You ever been slapped with a used condom? Op: No why you as... OP's boyfriend: * Slaps Op with the used condom*
GUNN1313 3
Ah true love..... Nope I'm not buying that one my self wtf is wrong with him I don't think I've ever had the urge to slap my used condom across a girls face not even after break up sex
pheebs314 17
Its kind of like you decided to put all the periods at the beginning because you didn't know how to properly distribute them...
GUNN1313 3
No I just like pissing off sad individuals like you who have nothing better to do then whine about how others write a post yes I am doing it yet again hope this makes you quake in your pathetic rage
pheebs314 17
Hey... My reply didn't show up :( It said "no rage here :)" I just thought it was kind of funny that you used enough at the top to fill in all the normal period spots.
KMtheDrummer 6
Well I thought it was funny... But not nice at all. FYL
RoboCunnilingus 23
This isn't the first FML I've read about someone getting smacked in the face with a condom. Is this some new sexual trend? If so, I'll pass.
neilsc 8
Be glad you didn't do anal..
Pwobbles 14
Who says they didnt?
neilsc 8
Then I suppose there's shit on her face then.
yeahreally 6
way to ruin the moment.
LolPieRofl 11
Oh cum on he could do better than that!
cougar41 8
Your boyfriend is a dirty filthy pig. If he did that to me. I'd have crusher his nuts
hahagirl1 11
Or you could flog him.
cece_miless 8
Hahahahaha. I could see my boyfriend doing that.
smiliecat 13
You're what? 12? 14 at the most? Kids these days... *shrugs* at least they're using protection?
NagainaFier 16
Wtf... I agree- there's no way your old enough to be having sex. And seriously? If 'I could see my boyfriend doing that', I'd be having a frank talk with him OR finding a new one.