Today, I found out how mature the guy I'm seeing is. After sex, he took the condom off and hit me in the face with it. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I had the best sex of our relationship with my boyfriend. Afterwards, he took off his condom, looked me sweetly in the eyes for a few moments, then decided to slap me in the face with it. FML
Today, after having sex with my boyfriend, he triumphantly flung the condom to the ceiling, only to have it come down and smack me in the face. FML
Today, I woke up with a used condom on my face. Turns out my roommate had sex with his girlfriend during the night and instead of getting up and throwing it away, he decided to throw it across the room. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having a good time. Perfect. Afterwards, he stupidly tried to pull the condom off with way too much force. It burst everywhere, splattering our faces, the bed sheets, and even the wall. Absolute disaster. We just stared at each other and laughed. Never again. FML
Today, after having sex with my girlfriend, I jokingly held the condom above my mouth. Somehow, the condom busted, and everything went over my face. Worse still, we're now wondering just how safe this condom really was. FML
Today, my boyfriend got out of the shower and tried to hit my forehead with his penis. He slipped and slapped me in the eye with it. FML
Today, while having sex with my husband, he accidentally elbowed me in the face. I don't know which is worse: that he didn't stop to see if I was OK, or that it seemed to turn him on and he climaxed immediately after he'd hit me. FML
Today, I was out shopping, when I noticed a teenage girl with a double stroller picking up a pack of condoms. I couldn't help but mutter that it was a little late for those. A guy who must have been her boyfriend then stormed over and beat the shit out of me. FML
Today, I found out my ex was sleeping around with others without a condom. FML
Today, I learned that the guy I was seeing had a girlfriend that he hid from me. I found this out when she attacked me. FML
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Top comments
bebe391 0
LMFAO
mzmiff132 1
hopefully u slapped him for that lol that's mad nasty
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Comments (218)
bebe391 0
LMFAO
sleekRelease 0
Smack.
Physcomerk 0
ydi for wearing a condom
Repttar 0
good, now sck his dck and make him a sammich
farsidee 0
asshole troll ^^
ravensunnyd 0
at least he wore one lol
Sixpakastan 0
Who doesn't?
damienwatkins 0
condom smack. how do ya like me now biz'nitch!
ImaginaryFoe 1
#29 Peanut butter smack! OP that is hilarious. Not for you though. It sucks for you. But the rest of us are laughing our arses off! BTW, tell him the next time he does that is the last time you let him hit it.
luckytexan 8
Give him a bj and spit it on his face.
jsweet42891 0
hahahaha hilarious
phara_fml 0
Haha, I think it's funny how this grosses you out, when the ony other place the condom had been was in you woohoo...
YOUbeTROLLIN 0
repttar your fake and gay gtfo.
YOUbeTROLLIN 0
repttar your fake and gay gtfo.
DGross 8
Is it wrong that I read this and laughed?
Monikabug 9
@42 That is exactly what I was thinking. >:] That'd teach him, OP! FYL.
samanthaiscool 0
lol! I'm just curious what you did after like stand there with your mouth open like did he just hit me with his bag 'o semen or kick him in the balls personally I would have hit him with it and shoved it down his throat then kicked him in the balls ;)
djarash 0
before u try to do that he would pour the semen on your face to blind you so u wouldn't hit him lmao
Jrook 0
lol I agree with luckytexan, spitting into his face after a bj is more then fair
applz_fml 0
good idea
alleyx3 0
LOL fyl
Randomassdude 0
Pwned!!!
MetroidSlayer01 8
@61: only if everyone else who laughed at it is stran... never mind
shtuff 0
So he likes to get freaky? Big deal
Dwight_A_R_Manag 0
@Samantha that's because you would rather have it in your mouth than on your cheek
lotsologan 2
sounds like a Dave chappelle moment. did you sign the love contract and the confidentiality agreement?
mattbeverly 0
@26 I dnt if she gets preg I kill her.jk lol ydi for sleeping with some1 u dnt know that well
bleedinginside 0
I'd tap that twice
iownyou777 0
nice this guy owns
tehamericanboy94 0
no I own you
CountChaos 0
what was on your face afterwards???
SmellDaPurp 0
@42 LMfAO! karma is a nasty bitch with STDs.
troyboyd05 0
This only would have been better if he yelled "Justice!" as he did it. That's called a Captain America.
swim5010 0
damn 63, hope no poor bastard tries that with u lol
allyosaugh 0
@46, if someone rubbed a Kleenex all over your dick, and then wiped it on your cheek you wouldn't be grossed out?
mexicantumblewee 0
hahahahahahahahahhahahahahhahahahahahahahahahhahahahahhahahahahhahahahhahahahahah
sexidimplez 0
at # 42 thats hilarious N a great idea lol
flauchmiester 0
good now shut the hell up and make him a samich!!
Cole0017 0
@79... I was going to say you're kinda cute and we should do something sometime, but if u think that's a good idea then.... nevermind...
eniiwa 0
@132: ROFLMAO!!!!
niibee 0
indeed my bf did that to me b4 disrespectful... he learndd his lesson.. since he hasnt found a use for his condoms for 3 months lol
Shell02 0
42 FTW!
twinscrplayer6 0
#61 no not at all I did to.
kid_skullomania 0
you gotta be quick and dodge. it's a deadly game.
cabbagez 0
yes
a7x451 0
That's funny as shit lol marry him.
pinkdancer 0
DAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAJAJAJAAJAJAJAJSJAJAJAJAJJAJAJAJAJAJ ...... AHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJJAJAJAKAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHJAHAHAJAJAJAJAHHAHAHHAHAHAH .... oh my god I'm dyin ... ahahahahahahah can't breath ...
ryguy997 0
did it pop on you?
rebelution 0
luckytexan wins!
CHEATwithUrMUM 6
that's what they all say
garrettjordan 0
I friken loveee Dane cook
B4SK3TB4IL 0
u shouldve put it in ur vag as punishment and make him pay child support.
Shade1982 21
@161: He probably did, it just doesn't involve you anymore...
hotscar 3
wow. atleast he was mature enough to wear a condom
turtles0706 0
how old is he 16?
evilspongebob 0
what did the condom say to the face?!.… smack!!!!! charlie murphy bitch!
ladiesman14 0
rofl which hole was the condom in before he smacked u with it.
mzmiff132 1
hopefully u slapped him for that lol that's mad nasty
zinoxity 23
HAHAHA that's ******* halerious!!!
chngjazz 0
hilarious*
kmdfirefox 0
Wow, FYL, 1st, I think.... Congratulations, you've lost your virginity!
pineappleducki 4
you should have stuffed the thing down his throat.
jbomber95 4
I would have then slap the dick into the mouth for a bj
ang93 0
I'm not seeing the problem here...
KaileeCat 0
haha that's a win.
SteveL79 4
HA HA HA
Cookie21_fml 0
LMAOOOO