Today, after having sex with my boyfriend, he triumphantly flung the condom to the ceiling, only to have it come down and smack me in the face. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I had the best sex of our relationship with my boyfriend. Afterwards, he took off his condom, looked me sweetly in the eyes for a few moments, then decided to slap me in the face with it. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having a good time. Perfect. Afterwards, he stupidly tried to pull the condom off with way too much force. It burst everywhere, splattering our faces, the bed sheets, and even the wall. Absolute disaster. We just stared at each other and laughed. Never again. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. He picked me up and threw me over his shoulder to take me to his room. He wasn't careful enough, and dropped me right on my head, on the hardwood floor. I ended up vomiting and came down with a headache. He still wanted to have sex. FML
Today, while finally about to make love with my long-term boyfriend, he came from putting a condom on. FML
Today, I found out how mature the guy I'm seeing is. After sex, he took the condom off and hit me in the face with it. FML
Today, my boyfriend got out of the shower and tried to hit my forehead with his penis. He slipped and slapped me in the eye with it. FML
Today, I woke up with a used condom on my face. Turns out my roommate had sex with his girlfriend during the night and instead of getting up and throwing it away, he decided to throw it across the room. FML
Today, after having sex with my girlfriend, I jokingly held the condom above my mouth. Somehow, the condom busted, and everything went over my face. Worse still, we're now wondering just how safe this condom really was. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were playing around. He threw me over his shoulder and turned around, smacking my face against the wall. Then he smacked my head into the fridge after turning round to see "what that loud bang" was. FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. He was about to make me come so I lifted my arm above my head with pleasure. I accidently punched him in the eye, hard enough that he had to stop for a while because he said he felt dizzy. FML
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Top comments
Pleonasm 36
It was a sperm of the moment kind of thing.
WhackTheJackal 22
He definitely *puts on sunglasses* hit it twice.
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Comments (59)
Pleonasm 36
It was a sperm of the moment kind of thing.
gatorclay97 28
I laughed way too hard at this.
SnowFangedBeauty 19
agreed ^
WhackTheJackal 22
He definitely *puts on sunglasses* hit it twice.
Axipiter 24
Yeeeaaahhh!
13ky13 20
Rule #2 - The Double Tap.
tigerisabelle 31
In what world would that ever be a good idea? Like what did he think was going to happen? Either it would get stuck up there, or it's going to fall. I just fail to see how that would appeal to him.. but to each their own?
strike2867 13
Regardless of what he thought, I can't imagine it turning out better.
TheMalygos 21
I can think of so many things that could've gone worse
WCARlover 35
well it IS good for your skin...
gatorclay97 28
It's like a prepackaged facial.
PennyLane27 32
This move should be in Urban Dictionary under "Snowman"
nevm 12
Do you wanna build a snowman? Come on let's go and play. I never see you anymore, come out the door, it's like you've gone away. We used to be best buddies, but now we're not. I wish you would tell me why. Do you wanna build a snowman? It doesn't have to be a snowman. Go away Anna. Okay, bye.
whiteangel361 10
Do you want to build a snowman? Cum on let's go and play!
nevm 12
Yes this is positive yet mine is negative... The logic is nonexistent
devildog562 33
Should have went with Olaf . Everyone loves Olaf .
Miss_Moody23 19
#16 yours was long winded for no reason and didn't use a pun that was staring you right in the face. Welcome to the FML community; where everyone is judged.
weswheatley 14
Yours said come not cum and was horribly to long
ImAFaker 29
It's not the length, it's how you use it
Axipiter 24
31... It's actually spelled "come"... But I'll agree with the second part of your comment.
23lf 16
In terms of ejaculate, it's spelled cum, don't pull your grammar nazi shit over here
GRubi 17
Huzzah!
Seabiscuit218 12
From one 'head' to another
devildog562 33
Did he at least point his penis in the air and yell heads up?
weveallbeenthere 30
that's a unique way of giving a facial.
2i1337i2iscore 13
He must be a gamer- headshot of the week.
Rallred32 20
"Care package inbound."
badluckalex 23
more like predator missile