Today, my boyfriend got out of the shower and tried to hit my forehead with his penis. He slipped and slapped me in the eye with it. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. He was about to make me come so I lifted my arm above my head with pleasure. I accidently punched him in the eye, hard enough that he had to stop for a while because he said he felt dizzy. FML
Today, I had the best sex of our relationship with my boyfriend. Afterwards, he took off his condom, looked me sweetly in the eyes for a few moments, then decided to slap me in the face with it. FML
Today, I took a shower with my boyfriend. I tried to be adventurous and went to give him a blowjob, only to end up slipping and head-butting him in the balls. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having a shower together for the first time. He was trying impress me and did some sort of dance move, he slipped, and when he fell he kicked my leg out causing me to fall and hit my face on the faucet. FML
Today, my boyfriend asked me for a blow job. After I said "no" over ten times, he decided to get up and slap me across the face with his penis. FML
Today, after having sex with my boyfriend, he triumphantly flung the condom to the ceiling, only to have it come down and smack me in the face. FML
Today, my boyfriend thought it would be cute to try and pick me up while kissing, instead he tripped and slammed the back of my head on the corner of the wall. FML
Today, I was fooling around with my partner after his shower. He moved my hands up to push me against the wall. Instead of hitting the wall, my hands hit the shower rod. It fell on my face and I got a bloody nose. FML
Today, I thought it would be sexy to surprise my boyfriend by hiding in the closet naked and pouncing on him as he came to get his pants. I never got to the pouncing. Apparently my boyfriend has heightened reflexes so instead I got slapped hard across the face. My ear is still ringing. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting heated, and he started to go down on me. In excitement, I accidentally drove a knee into his face. No amount of fondling his diddlestick made him forgive me for his bloody nose and swollen eye. FML
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Top comments
jaysvn 2
that's a dick move.
naxeeb 33
Maybe his one-eyed-snake was trying to find a partner? :P In any case, you should put ice on that OP!
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Comments (123)
naxeeb 33
Maybe his one-eyed-snake was trying to find a partner? :P In any case, you should put ice on that OP!
AmexBlack 24
Eye think you should probably get your eye seen to ;)
LeFrogDog 27
a eye for a eye?
qwertsarecool122 23
It's just eye to eye contact.
jaysvn 2
that's a dick move.
9echo 17
Quite a talented move, too. I mean, unless she was kneeling down or something, he would've had to jump high enough to stick her. I'm seeing a great illustrated FML here.
PuggieKid 22
She just got 'dick slapped'
GTAmax99 12
What a ********.
cgart96 15
Maybe he's black and it can just reach up there.
Ch_rae5 19
#36 i am laughing so hard at your comment
dfair1987 16
oh really I would have never guessed
HighasaCloud 46
Such a bellend
Dramori 29
Look up swaffelen...
Internetdude 22
people do the weirdest things these days. lol
jerryj 27
I bet men have been slapping their partners with their johnsons since the dawn of mankind. Just now we got social media to get the word out there a little more quickly and efficiently.
LaLince 40
eye-******
zandalee 20
She's gone all ****-eyed...
Nunaetsuko 13
I need the follow-up of this FML XD did you just laugh it off after?
terryaly 13
tell the later story too
A07 48
seriously bro? she got her eye poked by a penis and you wanna know what happened later? :p
terryaly 13
i got minus 3,you got minus 5 hahahahah
jondivey 9
Therefore your argument must be valid because you won the popularity contest. Good reasoning.
Stylux_fml 16
#81 Now you've got minus 13 and he has plus 1...
Mr25_fml 14
A for effort though.
Espolax 8
D for success
EpicSquishii 21
Must have been an ego boost for him. I'll bet most guys want to be able to claim they can injure someone with their penis. And here you were tearing up from the sheer force of it! :)
MagicStallion 9
I'm sure eye couldn't give less of a ****
Blink_me26 21
Pun was acceptable but a bit negative for my taste.
Wizzlbang 10
Hope you don't get pink eye, op