Today, I had an unbearable itch on my foot that I could not make go away with my nails, so I grabbed the stapler in my drawer to scratch it with. Bad idea. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I accidentally stapled my finger to a piece of paper. It hurt, but I took it out and went to restaple it. I did it again. FML
Today, while joking with my coworkers about how I shouldn't be trusted with a stapler because I managed to accidentally staple my finger last week, I stapled another finger. FML
Today, I put aftershave on my fingers to encourage myself to stop biting my nails. I absentmindedly rubbed my eye a few minutes later. It burnt like hell. FML
Today, I was clipping my nails. When I got to my toenail, the whole thing somehow ripped right out. I'm in agony. FML
Today, I was getting a pedicure, and they used some sort of scrubby thing that really tickled my feet. When I couldn't take it any more, I accidentally kicked the lady who was doing my nails in the face. FML
Today, I was playing my guitar and felt something like an itch under my foot, so I attempted to scratch it by rubbing against the floor. The big cockroach made a very distinct "crunch". FML
Today, I was working at Staples and organizing some notebooks. All of a sudden, I jumped up because of a sharp pain in my back. A little girl had grabbed a stapler and stapled my back. FML
Today, I accidentally cut myself with a razor blade on my toe. Not only does it sting really badly, but it reinforces the fact that I have abnormally hairy toes that need to be shaved. FML
Today, I was in a rush, so I was removing my nail polish while using the toilet. Everything was going fine, until I used the toilet paper in my hand to wipe. It was covered in nail polish remover. It still burns. FML
Today, I noticed one of my toenails was getting super long, so I cut it. In doing so, I accidentally ripped it off and it started bleeding. As I went to get something to stop it from bleeding, I got a huge splinter in my little toe, causing a painful infection. I think I should just go back to bed. FML
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Top comments
flamegrilled123 3
How could that possibly go wrong?
Greendaycheese 12
What a genius idea!
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Comments (185)
tony1891 22
it's call athletes feet. they make medicine for that.
itssosparkly 21
Yes, but unfortunately there is no cure for stupid.
sexaaydino 14
Good one :D
llamafish 25
Yes there is: homicide.
RedPillSucks 33
Perhaps if he stuck his foot in your ass, the itching will go away.
itssosparkly 21
Ah, yes, 72, I forgot about that one. I believe it can be administered through a series of shots.
GothicAngel17 24
What is it with people and having no brain cells these days?
BunchieRules 31
Maybe they start off with some common sense, but curiosity gets the best of them; thus causing them to attempt stupid things, causing the gradual eradication of brain cells. Or maybe they're just born stupid... maybe.
Spiral_Thoughts 19
"These days" . . . I take it you travel around in a TARDIS and are actually 900 + years old?
GothicAngel17 24
29- Well of course.
BunchieRules 31
There are stupid people in every generation, but it just seems like these days more of them are revealing themselves to the public.
Spiral_Thoughts 19
#34 In every generation there is a Chosen One. He or she alone will stand against the Elitist Intellectual Societies, the pioneering four-year olds, and the forces of wisdom. He or she is The Idiot.
ladyLALAA 29
I once stood on a row of staples someone dropped on the ground, if it was anything like that I feel your pain, OP!
garrr 0
Its quite unusual for people to drop a ROW of staplers on the ground. Plus you should really wear shoes like most civilised people do.
HunkyFes 6
Who wears shoes around their own home. And whether it's "unusual" or not to drop a row of staples, it obviously happened.
melissa98 7
27- staples* Most staples come in a ROW. If you buy a pack of staples, they come stuck together so that you can put them in the stapler.
linkinpark98 24
Yes, because staples are always the answer for itchy spots.
alfred07 18
Well now you know, and knowing is half the battle!
The_CL0GGER 0
Go get a staple remover, for the itch
esines 9
You like photographing dead animals? You are one weird ************.
The_CL0GGER 0
thanks, i have 10 if you want to see them all
Bullpine 11
A ruler? A pen? There were many alternatives.
CVTrojans21 1
A paring knife? A katana? Wait a second, you're telling me that these am AREN'T good alternatives?
mightymart 5
Brillant
AwkwardPartyBear 24
I don't want to be a grammar nazi or anything, but its *brilliant.
ManInTheMachine 20
46-Too late. You have already been infected with the GN virus. Change is inevitable. ACCEPT THE TRANSITION! Kind of like becoming a brony.
AbbyAbyss 5
Or obsessed with YouTube... Undoubtedly, I am all three.
xoxotati 1
Well on the bright side... Sorry there is none.
The_CL0GGER 0
on the bright side... it wasnt a nail gun?
kashilover69 3
Did it go away?