Today, I had an unbearable itch on my foot that I could not make go away with my nails, so I grabbed the stapler in my drawer to scratch it with. Bad idea. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I accidentally stapled my finger to a piece of paper. It hurt, but I took it out and went to restaple it. I did it again. FML
Today, while joking with my coworkers about how I shouldn't be trusted with a stapler because I managed to accidentally staple my finger last week, I stapled another finger. FML
Today, I put aftershave on my fingers to encourage myself to stop biting my nails. I absentmindedly rubbed my eye a few minutes later. It burnt like hell. FML
Today, I was clipping my nails. When I got to my toenail, the whole thing somehow ripped right out. I'm in agony. FML
Today, I was getting a pedicure, and they used some sort of scrubby thing that really tickled my feet. When I couldn't take it any more, I accidentally kicked the lady who was doing my nails in the face. FML
Today, I was playing my guitar and felt something like an itch under my foot, so I attempted to scratch it by rubbing against the floor. The big cockroach made a very distinct "crunch". FML
Today, I was working at Staples and organizing some notebooks. All of a sudden, I jumped up because of a sharp pain in my back. A little girl had grabbed a stapler and stapled my back. FML
Today, I accidentally cut myself with a razor blade on my toe. Not only does it sting really badly, but it reinforces the fact that I have abnormally hairy toes that need to be shaved. FML
Today, I was in a rush, so I was removing my nail polish while using the toilet. Everything was going fine, until I used the toilet paper in my hand to wipe. It was covered in nail polish remover. It still burns. FML
Today, I noticed one of my toenails was getting super long, so I cut it. In doing so, I accidentally ripped it off and it started bleeding. As I went to get something to stop it from bleeding, I got a huge splinter in my little toe, causing a painful infection. I think I should just go back to bed. FML
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Top comments
flamegrilled123 3
How could that possibly go wrong?
Greendaycheese 12
What a genius idea!
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Comments (185)
KM96 24
Ouch! ... I cant imagine your unbelievable pain right now … let alone the embarrassment.
stevenmx86 8
Wow, surprising that this actually turned out bad...
kp4043 1
Atleast it's not itchy anymore
brybytes 2
I bet it stopped the itch...
PotatoSupahNinja 3
I'm sorry but I don't feel bad for you. That's just self explanatory. YDI.
motherlovahh 7
I don't get what's so stupid about rubbing something sharp and dangerous against your skin, it stopped itching. Right?
perdix 31
On the plus side, you did find a way to make your boobs bigger that doesn't involve bedbugs.
tobedd 13
OP is a guy, so if his boobs are bigger as a result something more than an itch is going on.
CVTrojans21 1
81, I believe this is a reference to another FML.
Awsumuzzie 12
I don't understand people taking risks like this to avoid paying a couple of bucks for itching cream. My mom itches with a steak knife... she wasn't the only person I've seen do that splendid idea.
Dracoboxer357 36
49- Uh....I've been guilty of scratching an inch with a steak knife occasionally, not habitually, but the skin on my feet are as thick as shoe leather. It's maddening sometimes, but it happens so rarely that I forget about it until several months later, it happens again. *Lowers head in shame* ;P
Awsumuzzie 12
64, my mom has the same reason, and she's not lying. One of the reasons you bring a sharp object near your foot is when you are "playing a game"and are chained to a toilet in the same room with a dead body in the middle of the room in a blood pool. But you seem safe :-D
kthxbie 10
Using a foot file works for me. I know that itch is ******* annoying.
wildsweetchild 19
That's one way to do it...substitute the itch with pain.