Today, my mother refuses to acknowledge that I’m married because instead of a church, we got married outdoors in a lovely pagan ceremony (with a real marriage licence from the city council, obviously) and she keeps trying to introduce me to nice, single men from church. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I got married and my mom refused to be there because my dad, whose guts she hates, was there even though I promised repeatedly that I would keep them apart. I couldn't do the mother-son dance. She keeps insisting that it was a "lapse in judgment." Yeah, like we're really going to be able to have a do-over. FML
Today, my ex-boyfriend accepted my mother's offer to have his wedding in our backyard. FML
Today, I was bitched out by my shrew of a mother for getting engaged, to a man. She's not homophobic, but rather pissed off because gay marriage is "trendy" and she wants me to be "above that nonsense". Hurray for love. FML
Today, my mother-in-law, who lives with us rent-free, still daily tries to get my wife to divorce me and marry a decent Catholic boy who is actually Irish, unlike me who was born in France, even though we’ve been married 23 years and have three kids together. FML
Today, my mom has been aggressively trying to get me to marry one of her coworkers, who is around my age. Apparently she loves her like the daughter she always wanted, and since it would be silly to adopt her; she is determined she will be her daughter-in-law instead, whether I like it or not. FML
Today, my twice-divorced boomer mother made another passive-aggressive remark about my partner and I not being married, despite our 13-year relationship. What is this, 1950? We don't care about marriage, deal with it. FML
Today, I went to the courthouse to apply for my marriage license and had my mother tag along with me. When I asked one of five security guards where to go, my mom looked at him and said,"You’re suppose to talk her out of it." Thanks, Mom. FML
Today, my mother keeps nagging me to find a wife, settle down, and have kids, even though I have zero interest in any of those things. She refuses to understand that I’m perfectly content being completely on my own. She even signed me up to Tinder without my knowledge. FML
Today, my mom got drunk and started crying at my after-wedding party, after promising she'd behave herself. She thinks my husband is an awful person who'll drag me into a life of sin, all because he has a tattoo and an ear piercing. FML
Today, my mom told me that I will never see my siblings again because I refused to attend her wedding to another woman. FML
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Top comments
Hangryko 32
Go no contact from her, for your sanity and your spouse's. There's no fixing stupid.
Wadlaen 24
Then you should tell her that to legally being able to marry someone from church, you'd have to get a divorce first. See if she's still as keen after understanding that.
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Comments (6)
BurnInDemonFire 39
Take her aside and tell her you're having an affair with a Scientologist. Complete the whackadoodle trifecta.
Wadlaen 24
Then you should tell her that to legally being able to marry someone from church, you'd have to get a divorce first. See if she's still as keen after understanding that.
Hangryko 32
Go no contact from her, for your sanity and your spouse's. There's no fixing stupid.
bigredmonkeybutt 30
Tell her you will pray for her.
core01 30
Set her up with creepy men. She must secretly want it if she's doing it to you
GoogieWithers 25
Do you wear a wedding ring? If not, it might be time to start. Just around your mother.