Today, I put aftershave on my fingers to encourage myself to stop biting my nails. I absentmindedly rubbed my eye a few minutes later. It burnt like hell. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I noticed a strange mark on the inside of my mouthwash bottle. As I was bending down to investigate, my hands tightened around the bottle and mouthwash squirted in my eye. It still burns. FML
Today, I was in a rush, so I was removing my nail polish while using the toilet. Everything was going fine, until I used the toilet paper in my hand to wipe. It was covered in nail polish remover. It still burns. FML
Today, my day started with me peeing in my own face. My eye still burns. FML
Today, I realized how exhausted I was when I mixed up my eye makeup remover with toner. My eye still burns. FML
Today, I was attempting to tame my bushy eyebrows, since I'm starting a new job in a few days and need to look somewhat presentable, when I poked myself in the eye. Hard. I thought I’d blinded myself for a few moments. Now it’s just red, sore and watery. FML
Today, I accidentally cut myself with a razor blade on my toe. Not only does it sting really badly, but it reinforces the fact that I have abnormally hairy toes that need to be shaved. FML
Today, I accidentally sprayed some perfume in my eye. After rinsing said burning eye with water for a few minutes, I half-blindly grabbed the eyedrops my sister left on the counter and used some. They were actually tea tree oil drops. Ouch. FML
Today, I have a cold. Trying to clear out my stuffy nose, I tried putting mouthwash in my nose. Thinking it was an awesome idea, I put some more in. I then starting screaming in pain due to the extreme burning in my nostrils. FML
Today, I started biting my nails, before I realized I'd forgotten to wash my hands after taking a massive dump. FML
Today, I was picking my nose so aggressively that I flicked a booger right into my eye. FML
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Top comments
Doortje 30
The burning pain distracted you from biting your nails, so mission accomplished!
Sinkhole 26
You should use garlic instead, and next time, put it only on your nails!
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Comments (70)
artsyfultastic 10
owww!
Sinkhole 26
You should use garlic instead, and next time, put it only on your nails!
Hanimon 0
good idea man, that's gonna smell so bad
Zmeilerr 22
I believe she's a female sinkhole :P
UpsidedownKayak 9
Zmeilerr, OP's name is Steve.
Sinkhole 26
UpsidedownKayak, Zmeilerr was talking about me! Can't blame Hanimon though, sinkholes can be a bit ambiguous, even when they have that pink line around their photos! Oh, and the garlic is supposed to smell and taste bad, that's what helps people stop biting their nails. He doesn't need to rub the garlic over his nails, there's special clear nail polish with garlic. Sure, it would probably look odd in a man, but it would definitely stop him from biting his nails.
5t3ff1k4h 47
29 - Do you even know why people bite their nails? If they're out and they get the urge, they're not going to stop chewing to think, "Hey, maybe I should clip my nails instead!" Clear, foul-smelling nail polish will work, but it will look weird on a dude. I'm sure there are remedies for males so they don't have to resort to the female remedy.
Sinkhole 26
He's not supposed to clip his nails when he's out and gets the urge, he has to maintain them short. If there's never much nail left to bite, he'll probably stop at some point. Sure, the nail polish might look weird on him, but, then again, it will help him stop so that he doesn't have to keep wearing it. However, there are other options, such as creams and oils that work as deterrents too, and that would most likely be a better choice for him.
5t3ff1k4h 47
True, though I've seen many people continue biting even when their nail has been bitten down to the quick. I've seen some go further and gnaw on their cuticles.
Sinkhole 26
Yeah, I've seen that too, especially in men. I think that the best think he can do is try to keep his hands busy, chew gum (even if that's not particularly good for his health or his teeth) and/or look for a deterrent that could work for him.
sourgirl101 29
Sinkhole is correct. If there isn't much nail left to bite, then they might stop the habit. I did. But Steff is also correct. It depends on the "type" of nail bitter. Some do it out of nervousness. Not even pain would stop them.
AlecIsTheMan 0
Why do you correct everyone or argue what someone will say on FML? I've seen you on other posts and you always seem to be feeding the trollololols.
SEC_Owns 0
next time use gloves...
kittykat1501 31
I like garlic
ramboman19 8
well that's smart!
tinayoufatlarddd 0
Sooo now you know what it's like to "dot" your "I's"?
Droolz 0
Lmf....no. Not funny.
hellogoodbye1996 6
haha your pic!
Doortje 30
The burning pain distracted you from biting your nails, so mission accomplished!
mintcar 10
WTF? Aftershave? Just get some acrylic/artificial nails or something?
Doortje 30
I think that would look pretty stupid on a guy.
mintcar 10
Oh Steve... I clearly didn't read that part.
kcnutt10 1
Clearly.....
UpsidedownKayak 9
You're not as sharp as your razor. I hope your razor is sharper than you or you're face will hurt like your eyes do now.
SarahStarzz 0
lmao after shave?? sucks 2 be u ....
tated4life 0
that's what I thought WTF aftershave
jess6blondie9 3
You know, they have clear nail polish that is meant to help you stop biting your nails. It taste horrendous, and works like a charm. :)
KVKdragon 26
that's true but imagine a guy with super shiny nails. my mom actually thought I put clear nail polish on my toenails because it was so shiny, the real cause being me filing my toenails since they looked horrendously embarrassing
Celesta 11
There are ones that aren't shiny at all and you can't even notice that you're wearing them :)
Uilove1 7
hahah awwwww that is so sad!