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Today, I had a panic attack because I was constipated. FML

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Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.

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Doortje 30

"Oh God, oh God, I can't poop, oh God" *faints* Idiot.

disco2466 8

did it make you shit yourself?

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Comments (104)

trippydoll 4

lax

I_R_Genius 3

Eh, you'll be alright OP. Everyone gets constipated, but girls don't poop or fart, so it's just guys I guess.

TheRealFamilyGuy 5

hey! constipation is something to worry about. i once squeezed so hard i popped a blood vessel in my eye ball. i had to walk around with an eye patch for 6 weeks, people kept calling me fat beard :(

thelastavailable 13

Clearly you are not stuck for words..

Alexxx125 0

fail

mightymart 5

nowhere near as much as your haircut...

disco2466 8

did it make you shit yourself?

coolsk8 1

hahaahahahahhahahaha PURE WIN

kbourco 0

hahahahaha love it

kcmjlopez 0

thats freaking hilarious.

torch433 1

lol

jc95sd 3

NICE... For the hoard!!!

kikibisweet 0

I would too. My day just isnt right until i go. lol I hate being stuffed. Just take some Miralax. It works wonders.

primadonna9396 16

I wouldn't recommend laxatives, even OTC ones. My suggestion is to eat some mixed dried fruit, with some prunes in. Has the same effect as laxatives, except you only take one explosive shit instead of ten.

Doortje 30

"Oh God, oh God, I can't poop, oh God" *faints* Idiot.

dezinspaaace 0

hahaha!

theten_fml 9

reminds me of quagmire

Acousticpixie14 6

I do not understand this post... You panicked because you couldn't defecate? The have OTC fixes for that you know... Nonethelss, that's hardly worth panicking over...

BWill9014 4

if you're really really constipated to the point that it it's like half out and you can't get the rest out I could see it being kinda rough on the nerves

Acousticpixie14 6

Yeah that would be frustrating, but a PANIC ATTACK? Those are intense. Constipation? Not so much.

jc95sd 3

I can see your boobs :3

KiwiExchange 16

-Pats- you'll be alright brother.

dezinspaaace 0

if OP panicked while failing to take a dump imagine the other times she was trying to push hard...

valekseye 0

I think that's hilarious!

xxxJORDYBEARxxx 0

haha u had a panic because u didn't think it would come out.. well there is such thing as hands you know.. wat a shitty situation

Zynris 10

Oh wow, god help you.

ramirezlmt 0

Hey relax my ex had the same problem for a week or something? She was lactose intolerant and very stubborn she took women's lax. By the way anyone that doesn't understand this post, imagine having your system rock hard for a week. Just breathe and let Sh$# happen and watch your diet next time.

FYLDeep 26

Well, if she was lactose intolerant, then all she should have had to do is drink some milk, and her system should have cleared itself out. Violently.

Acousticpixie14 6

#14... No sometimes it's reverse. I'm lactose intolerant, and everything hardens up. #12... I understand the feeling, I don't understand panicking over it. I suffered with lactose intolerance for years without knowing what was wrong. It sucks, yeah, but I don't understand having a full blown panic attack over it, sorry.

ramirezlmt 0

Obviously she overreacted she wouldn't be on fml if her life wasn't embarrssing. Can you not relate to panicing over a small health problem? I fully agree there are far more stressing matters and we wouldn't ...........................FML I'm getting evicted for having one party in fing 10 months I've lived here. It was my roommates 21st birthday and the party got out of hand........I"m going to the office now

ramirezlmt 0

.....not getting evicted fing legal stuff couldn't make heads or tails of it. It read 10 day notice of intent to terminate rental agreement. Then again I didn't have a panic attack and my ex didn't have a panic attack but she was scared shitless lol I made a funny. Idk and really I'm past the point of caring, I do believe society overreacts depression, panic attacks, Fears are simply the by product of technology. The cure? The Amish or weed. But I can relate to overreacting to a small health issue and fearing the worst like colon cancer STDs etc. That's why man made FML what can't we do?

5t3ff1k4h 47

Uh, no. Weed does not "cure" a fear. Also, while you're partially right in saying society hypes up certain symptoms, a lot of people do have mental anxiety or phobia issues.

Acousticpixie14 6

I think, honestly, she just got scared and called it a "panic attack." Unless you had a phobia of constipation, I don't see how you can have an actual panic attack over it.

yaksandyetis 0

acousticpixie... just forget about it, seriously you've made at least 5 comments about ops trouble poohing. get over it

Acousticpixie14 6

Actually I made four [: If I had anything better to do, I would do it. So you'll just have to put up with me :P

5t3ff1k4h 47

Dear god. It's dandy that you have such an infatuation with shit, but none of us care to/need to know about it.

Acousticpixie14 6

I love being so hated [: No one writing paragraphs on the matter get nearly as much attention as me! When you respond to me, all you do is empower me [: