Anonymous
United States
Today, after 4 days of constipation, I finally pooped. Sadly, I was not on the toilet. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Poopie
Canada
Today, after suffering from constipation for three days, I finally took a dump. Just as things reached the point of no return, my land line and doorbell all rang. FML
Anonymous
Not now!
Today, after 4 days without being able to poop, now, while sitting stuck in traffic, I have the sudden urge to use the bathroom. FML
Tabby Rosas
Slid right out
Today, after 8 days of being on a medication that makes it hard to go to the bathroom and no luck taking laxatives and drinking coffee and apple juice, I finally got to go. Too bad I was at my desk at work when it happened. I washed out my pants in the bathroom and got to sit in wet pants for 4 hours. FML
Anonymous
United States
You need more fiber
Today, I finally got over having constipation for two days straight. It came in the form of a normal-sized, rock-hard turd that made me scream "Ow!" when it came out. FML
Me
United States
Today, I finally went to the bathroom after being constipated for two days. The good news? I lost two pounds. The bad news? The toilet won't flush. FML
Dana
Rolling thunder
Today, it's been a week that I've had bad constipation. Overeating on my 16th birthday last week got me sick; since then I've pooped only once, and it took a hard push to go it out. Today I had my second poop. Good news: I did go. Bad: it happened on the bus home from school. My pals actually cheered when I finished straining. FML
missbutthole
United States
Today, after being chronically constipated for the better part of a week, I finally have the urge to poop. Too bad I'm 30 minutes early to work and locked out of the building. FML
092492
United States
Today, I was finally able to get up and take a shit after being bedridden due to my knee surgery. I had diarrhea and because I can't properly bend my knee, I can't wipe my butt. FML
constipated
Today, I was fired from my job for being constipated. FML
Sostupid
Canada
Today, I had a panic attack because I was constipated. FML
Top comments
OhDearBetrayal 25
Doesn't matter still pooped.
twinny_sc 13
I hope for your sake you were at least at home and not in public.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (101)
OhDearBetrayal 25
Doesn't matter still pooped.
airforce987 20
I read this as 4 years.... O.o
SkyBirdy 5
Now this is an original comment, i like it.
OhDearBetrayal 25
56- I put quite a bit of thought into it therefore I appreciate your comment greatly. Thank you.
TheGITP 0
If it was hard you could go I the loo and flip it out into the toilet, but if it was runny FYL :'(
dontfmlplzzz 6
Assuming op wears tighty whities, I believe most guys don't anymore
nado13579 12
I think this was the best first comment we've had in a while. Lately it's just been people desperately trying to come up with something to be first.
klovemachine 24
#1's comment was awesome :)
TheGITP 0
:O what's wrong with tighty whities?! I strut around in them all day long~
jengers115 10
I was gonna say that!
twinny_sc 13
I hope for your sake you were at least at home and not in public.
Feared 9
I wish I had the power to give anyone I wanted diarriah on the spot. I would stand by the terminals, and hit everybody when it was time for them to board.
MerrikBarbarian 9
May you never gain super powers... Honestly though... You'd be the worse super villain. Explosive Diahrea Man/Woman (I'm on my phone and can't check gender right now, sorry)... On the flip side if you used your powers for good... No one would ever dare rob a bank again. And... I'm clearly thinking WAY too hard about this...
AFCA020 4
Would be worse if you used your superpowers at the moment of take off for a transatlantic flight....
macmisso 0
Yes
ilovedinosawers 17
Liked just for the pic
kushsmokee 0
Niice, just lettin er go is the way to get er done
VictoriaSchultz 8
Niice, who are you Larry the Cable Guy.. er
FMLsAreAwesome 0
3- You're just a wanna be redneck from Canada.
SqueakyChipmunk 22
51- Justin Bieber the Cable girl?
4everFucked 3
Sounds like a shitty situation.
thejewishfuhrer 17
But not a shitty pun!!!! :D .....oh wait....
4everFucked 3
If someone is going to say it, it might as well be me.
Addyy_ 5
Bury ALL the bad shit puns!
iKendall 3
Bye
zombiibabii 4
Lol! Horrible, but funny. At least you aren't all backed up anymore...I just hope you could quickly access clean undies and pants.
Blue_Black_fml 21
And hope OP can also quickly take a shower!
bengermin 5
So many of the recent FMLs could have been prevented/fixed if everyone wore diapers. Apparently no one can hold their business anymore.
micahsmommy 13
Well isn't that good? You're supposed to poo in the toilet not on it anyways.
thejewishfuhrer 17
Foolish child. You sit on the toilet. Not poop on it.
micahsmommy 13
Sorry. This is what I get for posting on FMLs after being woken up at 3am. I read *it* instead of *I* and by the time I noticed the difference it was too late to change. On a seperate note, why does everyone keep calling me "child" or "youngling"? Last I checked I was one of the older people on this site.
stolencookie 17
That is odd. I'm sure they will stop eventually, kid.
hatesfate 6
Probably because when the site is mostly 13-17 year olds at 21(?) while you're one of the older posters there are still people who are older than you...
micahsmommy 13
37- I'm 27. And yes I understand there are people older than me.
antart3 18
I'm sorry op, that really sucks. :(
OkitaCockroach 19
Today, I learned not to read FMLs while eating. FML.
Nebulas_n_Novas 7
I agree, your life sucks
SkyBirdy 5
I was drinking cereal milk out of the bowl when i read it.
OkitaCockroach 19
55- Oh god, so was I. XD
Greendaycheese 12
Shit happens.
vocaloidtiger 12
"Oh, crap!" ..Cue the overused comments and puns..
craZgal321 6
or "thats a shitty situation"