Today, my boyfriend tickled me. In between laughs, I warned him that I was going to pee myself. He didn't believe me. After I actually did, he suggested we use a "safety word" from now on so that he will know when I'm being serious. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was startled awake at 4am by a loud and awful sound. Completely serious, I asked my fiancé if he had just shit his pants. His response: giggles followed by a softly whispered "maybe". FML
Today, my best friend decided she wanted to tell my boyfriend about the time I pissed myself laughing at her house. When she was telling the story I ended up laughing so hard, that I pissed myself again. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were play wrestling. I had pinned him down and was sitting on his chest when he suddenly squeezed my stomach, causing me to rip the loudest fart ever. He looked so shocked that I couldn't help but laugh. I laughed so hard that I accidentally peed on him as well. FML
Today, after watching Insidious, my boyfriend thought it would be funny to scare me while I was on the toilet. I was in mid-piss when he jumped out at me, and I ran screaming and peeing down the hall. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were finally alone and things were starting to get intimate. I was on top of him trying to be sexy, when in my excitement I giggled and called him a "silly girl" by accident. FML
Today, my boyfriend discovered that I fart when I'm tickled enough. The best part was when he decided to show his family. FML
Today, I finally had sex with the guy I like, but I had to pee really bad. It got really wet down there, and he thought I squirted. I peed everywhere. I let him believe he made me squirt. FML
Today, while in bed with my boyfriend, I accidentally let one slip. While thinking "maybe he didn't hear, maybe he's sleeping", the shaking of the bed from his laughter let me know otherwise. FML
Today, I thought my boyfriend wanted to be romantic by pouring a bath, getting in then calling me in. As I get comfortable, he stands up and gets out. At the same time, I notice yellow water. He'd pissed in the tub for a joke. FML
Today, I finally told my boyfriend that I see a therapist every week because, amongst other things, I'm terrified of being locked in a room. He didn't believe me, so he locked me in the bathroom "for a laugh." I had a panic attack and passed out. FML
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Top comments
stephanieface 0
I think 'I'm going to pee' is a pretty good safety word. or you know, 'stop'
Acousticpixie14 6
I ******* hate when guys do that. You shouldn't have to have a "safety" word. When I say to stop tickling me, STOP ******* TICKLING ME. I know I'm laughing, that does not mean I'm enjoying it, it's an involuntary reflex you ass-munch. FYL...
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Comments (116)
stephanieface 0
I think 'I'm going to pee' is a pretty good safety word. or you know, 'stop'
TheRealFamilyGuy 5
no = yes stop = go at least thats what i think that drunk chick i banged was trying to tell me.
Acousticpixie14 6
Yeah....that's not funny
HUNG9 0
yeah it was pretty funny i laughed so hard i slammed my head on the keyboard
Blooman 1
shouldn't the bird be the word?
Bellaness 11
win^
breakofdawn1 0
fail^ har
z620 0
the safety word is bananas.
Blooman 1
no no, the bird is the word.
friedchkn97 4
no its UNCLE! well I don't know about yall but it is in my family :)
iwadasn 33
That's what she said. He didn't believe her.
SpikyG 3
Or 'Stop you Bitch!'
I_R_Genius 3
Lol you should've used one before he tickled you. But payback is a bitch, just stick his hands in water and watch him pee himself. (yes I know it doesn't work, but it'd be really funny.)
kgpfly 0
Actually, I just started an account here and I can't figure out how to reply to the post in general I just see a "reply" option on individual's responses. like I just did here. Wondering if you could help me out? Thanks! : )
CkMystic 0
or how about he not tickle since your bladder can't handle it, hm?
CkMystic 0
*tickle you* only because I know some asshole will tell me I forgot
whippymcdumb4zs 0
it was gonna be me^
Acousticpixie14 6
I ******* hate when guys do that. You shouldn't have to have a "safety" word. When I say to stop tickling me, STOP ******* TICKLING ME. I know I'm laughing, that does not mean I'm enjoying it, it's an involuntary reflex you ass-munch. FYL...
MrLefty 8
Whoa. this isn't your soapbox for a personal vendetta against people who tickle other people. Yeah it sucks, but its still pretty funny. Life will keep going, whether you want to be tickled or not.
ohthebloodygore 16
9, I'm with 5. People love tickling me for some odd reason and each and every single time I pee after repeatedly saying 'STOP' or 'I'm going to pee!'. The sad part is it's always the same people so they know I'm serious. It's not funny at all.
Acousticpixie14 6
#9... I have no vendetta against ticklers, I myself tickle others on occasion, my vendetta is against people who keep going when you tell them to stop. I once had a group of friends who held me down and tickled me until I actually threw up. Tickling is the same as any other time you might touch another human being, when they say "stop"....stop.
mightymart 5
wow.. someone has represses childhood tickling memories..
ImaginaryFoe 1
I hate tickling and don't find it remotely funny. I agree with OTBG. If someone says "stop touching me", stop touching him/her.
shaneac 0
Did you know tickling was a torture method in Ancient China? They'd tie you down and tickle you until you gave in, or passed out because you were laughing so hard you couldn't breathe.
LoveMySoldier82 0
My ex used to hold me down and tickle me no matter how much I begged him to stop. His excuse, "but you're laughing a dur dur dur." He stopped when he let my go of my knee before he got off and he got a swift knee to the jewels. Yes, he deserved it for so many more reasons than the tickling, though.
Acousticpixie14 6
I would never ever ever hit a guy in the junk unless I was being attacked, but I do understand wanting to. And I HATE that excuse...."Well you're laughing" Ughhh...
LoveMySoldier82 0
Well pixie, you are right. I had never purposefully hit any other guy before or after. But at the time, I was having a difficult pregnancy (my first and a really small body 5' and 103 lbs) and I was in bed rest for pain and low blood pressure/sugar, as well as preterm labor from 4 months on. Knowing how miserable I was and how much pain I was in... he did it anyway and wouldn't stop until it literally hurt to breathe for a minute or two. He deserved it...and more lol.
Acousticpixie14 6
Oh jeez, I feel your pain! I'm 5'2" and was originally 120 lbs and I'm on bed rest now as well. I have gestational diabetes, autoimmune thrombocytopenic purpura, and have been in labor since 18 weeks. If someone were to tickle me now, I probably would kick him the the groin. Honestly, that is an attack. If you're on bed rest (among the other things) then tickling is the LAST thing you need. He could've seriously endangered you or your baby. Jerk...
LoveMySoldier82 0
Oh wow. Yes he was a jerk, amongst other th
LoveMySoldier82 0
Ew I was borderline diabetic with my last baby. I didn't have to do insulin therapy but I did have to have a strict diet and pricked my finger after every meal. It sucked. Thankfully, he cane out healthy, just a little jaundiced. Bed rest sucks but the sacrifice is worth it. I wish you much luck and better health soon :)
Acousticpixie14 6
Thank you! I don't have to suffer through it much longer, I'm 4 days over due and have been contracting heavily for the past 24 hours. We're just waiting for some dilation. I don't have to use insulin either. I do hate being away from carbs though. I love me some carbs ]:
LoveMySoldier82 0
Oh wow. Have sex. Seriously, it helps soften your cervix. My husband and I did it and the next day I was in labor. My husband is five days older than I am but he was two weeks past due. I told him he was waiting for me :3. He was 12 lbs.6 oz when he was born so when I got pregnant I was scared to DEATH. Luckily, my babies came out normal sized..
Acousticpixie14 6
Yeahhh I can't have sex. I'm not married. It's a personal choice of mine, one that was made after I got pregnant (obviously) lol. Yeah, my grandpa was 12 lbs when he was born, but that was probably a case of gestational diabetes. My lil boy is about 6 lbs right now, which sounds about right cause I'm little, and I was little when I was born. I think his father was a little baby, too, so I lucked out.
Alexxx125 0
so what's the word??
trooper250 0
dakota! :D
ArthursLifeSucks 2
"aardvark."
bubblej614 0
night at the museum?
snafu63 0
your safe word should be a punch to the nuts.
thezaincan 0
second this. fight fire with fire.
FYLDeep 26
That's like fighting fire with a nuke.
Alexand3rS 0
LOL
monkeebalz 0
lmao win
kikibisweet 0
You should have pissed on him then. Next time he will know to stop. Fyl.
DenisV95 2
Put some clothes on. ^
sweet_candy_ 17
At least you gave him warning. If he didnt believe you that's his fault.
spacewardtrout 16
Yes, I'm sure OP feels soo much better knowing it was his fault she peed herself.
dezinspaaace 0
wow, thats embarrassing.
Doortje 30
I hate you for not telling us the safety word you came up with. I want to know! Any suggestions people?
sourgirl101 29
"Nutcheck"
FYLDeep 26
"Snickerdoodles"
sourgirl101 29
Total win^! that name still haunts this site. And yet I miss her!(:
ShrukiantheMad 0
Saying her name makes me cringe please stop..just not as much as Legonut makes me cringe.
FMLBitches1 0
who's snickerdoodles?
Acousticpixie14 6
Yeah, who's Snickerdoodles?
FMLBitches1 0
oh! that makes since why people cringe!
SquaredRectangle 0
Oh! Soa tats whoo Snickerdoodles whas! Wat eva happend too tht tastee food namd Gramer Natsi anywaayz? Because of this horrendous sentence above I summon SNICKERDOODLES TO COME BACK from the grave and correct my sentence!!! Commence with the Sacred Grammer Nazi "Come back and Correct" Ritual!