Today, I ended up in the hospital by accidentally eating poisonous berries, from a plant that I've known since childhood to be poisonous, which I also recognized as belonging to the nightshade family. I still don’t understand what made them look tasty. Brain fart of the century, I guess. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my mom ate some flowers without knowing if they were safe. Turns out they are slightly poisonous and she had an upset stomach, but she will be fine. Her excuse? "I didn't know it had poison." I had to explain that's exactly why you don't eat plants you don't know are poisonous or not. FML
Today, I was eating a mystery flavored candy and I had an allergic reaction. Not only did I have to go to the hospital because my throat swelled up, but I still don't know what I'm allergic to. FML
Today, despite knowing full well that I am allergic to citric acid, I bought and ate candy that is essentially just powdered and flavoured citric acid. Now my tongue is too swollen and painful to eat. I’m a dumbass. FML
Today, I got excited when I learned that the fruit on the trees by my apartment building was ripe and free to pick. I picked myself some juicy summer plums and enjoyed them. Minutes later, my tongue started burning painfully. Turns out, I'm allergic to plums. FML
Today, I accidentally ate a cat treat instead of a cinnamon-glazed pecan. I thought it must have been burnt by the way it tasted, so ate a few more before I figured out my mistake and spat them out. FML
Today, I went to get food. I was late so my friend ordered for me. I took a few bites and all of a sudden it got hard to breathe. I realized it was a blueberry muffin, and I'm deathly allergic to blueberries. I looked at my friend, and she was laughing, saying she wanted to see if it was true. I just got out of the hospital. FML
Today, I found out that the seeds of the Cherimoya fruit are toxic. I found out by eating the entire fruit, including all seeds. FML
Today, I found out that my kids played around with a bunch of caterpillars they'd found in the yard, then informed me they'd eaten a few. I then had to scramble to Google "Is this kind of caterpillar poisonous?" FML
Today, I woke up hungover and went to the kitchen for some food. I saw what I thought was a blueberry muffin. Halfway through eating it, I realized I couldn’t taste any blueberries, so I tried another one. I then remembered my dad telling me to throw out any old food we had. It was mould. FML
Today, I went on a date with a very cute girl. It went well, until I accidentally called the blueberries in her dessert Oran Berries. I sheepishly explained that they're a berry from the Pokémon universe, at which point she excused herself, never to return. FML
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Top comments
QueenSaru 28
Have to be honest... "accidentally" isn't exactly the correct word after this sequence of events...
RichardPencil 32
Did you think poisonberries were boysenberries? I don't know if they have the same problem in German-speaking countries, but it's a big problem in the English-speaking world. Pro tip for non-English speakers: just say no to dingleberries. Trust me on this one.
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Comments (5)
RichardPencil 32
Did you think poisonberries were boysenberries? I don't know if they have the same problem in German-speaking countries, but it's a big problem in the English-speaking world. Pro tip for non-English speakers: just say no to dingleberries. Trust me on this one.
QueenSaru 28
Have to be honest... "accidentally" isn't exactly the correct word after this sequence of events...
jc1015 25
right?! accidentally would be if they didn't know they were poisonous and ate them. this truly special ******* looked at them, knew they were poisonous, and thought what the hell they look tasty! YDI OP
randybryant799 21
So it wasn't accidental. You knew it was poison and ate it anyway.
sirrubberduckie 37
"I eated the purple berries. They taste like burning."
MsVi 4
"*Accidentally* ate poison berries that *i've known were poisonous since childhood* that I know belongs to the *nightshade family*' Seriously, were you trying to hurt yourself because it seems like you had all the information you needed before eating those berries. You definitely deserved it.