Today, I had a girl come over to my house that I had been texting for four days. I asked her what she wanted to do and she replied "take a nap". Becoming really excited I lead her to my bedroom and went to the hiding spot for my condoms, she was serious about the nap. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, a girl invited me over to her dorm room at 3 AM. For some reason, I thought it would be a good idea to respond to e-mails just before. She said she was tired and then went to bed. I'm a fucking idiot. FML
Today, my girlfriend of over a year woke me up at 4:30 in the morning by sticking her hand down my pants. She immediately stopped when I was awake enough to reciprocate and said, "I couldn't sleep. I was bored. Talk to me." FML
Today, I was spending the night at my fiancé's house. He knew my period was about to start, so he asked if he needed to put a tarp down on the bed. He was dead serious. FML
Today, I asked my dad if my girlfriend could sleep over. He winked at me and agreed. When I brought her home, we went to my room for a quickie. There, I saw that my dad had taped multiple Richard Simmons posters to the wall, causing my girlfriend to suddenly come down with a "headache." FML
Today, my girlfriend came over to my place, looking drop dead gorgeous. However, she preferred the idea of sleeping, and here I am on my laptop. FML
Today, my girl and I were in bed trying to nap before class. She kept tossing and turning, obvious signs that she was having no luck. Sweetly, I ask her if there was anything I could do to help her relax. She says "you can tell me a story about your day, that always puts me to sleep". FML
Today, my girlfriend of two years called me over late at night. I got excited, assuming she finally wanted sex. No, she just wanted me to make her mac and cheese and talk to her because she was ‘restless’. FML
Today, I recently started seeing a girl and I slept over at her house for the first time. Apparently, I still talk in my sleep. This morning she told me I whispered, "I love you so much." FML
Today, I went to work things out with my girlfriend, with whom I'd had a huge fight with. She told me the night before to come over at noon and that she would be awake. I unlocked the door to see that the place was a mess. She'd thrown a party and was still passed out naked next to her boss. FML
Today, I got to meet the guy that I have been talking to over a dating website. We were having a great time, at least until I managed to randomly fall asleep in front of him. I spent the rest of the day sending text messages trying to explain to him that I suffer from narcolepsy. FML
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Top comments
lucky0514 0
WTF is wrong with you people... "texting" for four days and you wanna have sex with her? YDIYDIYDI
Neferria 0
Wait, why did she want to come to your place for a nap?
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Comments (173)
why_me14 0
haha I know how you feel all girls wanna do is text and when it comes to it they chicken out! life sucks... lol just keep texting
CL41RE 0
Lol why_me14 you typed that from your iPhone/iPod EMOJI RULES
Protegas 0
Well, think about it. It could of been a girl he knew, or met, and they weren't able to get together much because they were busy. Thus, only being able to text. So, her thinking their good friends, she decides to make plans to go to his house for a bit, and take a nap. Oh, so romantic.
fuckmylife29 0
haha yea that sucks...but i would be the one to do that! ha
hardrocktobi 0
YDI for trying to have sex after 4 days... of txting! seriously moving at the speed of light much? perv anyway whats wrong with naps? thats really sweet haha
flygirlnene 0
My boyfriend don't believe me when I say that to him and we been together for a year. YDI
LolitaGirl_fml 0
Where in the hell did you get "SEX NAO" from "I wanna take a nap"? YDI
ZeroCharisma 0
4 days of texting now renders a relationship serious enough for sex? Wow. Either I am a serious prude or young people are extremely sleazy nowadays. I'm leaning toward the latter.
katherinebby17 28
your right younger people these days are easy
kathira120 3
what is it with people that automatically, the first date entitles you to sex? where i come from, its called abstinance. learn it, people.
Bllasae 0
Remember kids, texting is the exact same thing as meeting someone in real life.
gctuba99 0
hahahahahahaha yeah OP um, 4 days is a little fast; I wouldn't assume anything sexual so soon
cabernet 0
Not every female out there practices NOT saying what she really means. Props for her being direct. Learn from it.