Today, I had a girl come over to my house that I had been texting for four days. I asked her what she wanted to do and she replied "take a nap". Becoming really excited I lead her to my bedroom and went to the hiding spot for my condoms, she was serious about the nap. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, a girl invited me over to her dorm room at 3 AM. For some reason, I thought it would be a good idea to respond to e-mails just before. She said she was tired and then went to bed. I'm a fucking idiot. FML
Today, my girlfriend of over a year woke me up at 4:30 in the morning by sticking her hand down my pants. She immediately stopped when I was awake enough to reciprocate and said, "I couldn't sleep. I was bored. Talk to me." FML
Today, I was spending the night at my fiancé's house. He knew my period was about to start, so he asked if he needed to put a tarp down on the bed. He was dead serious. FML
Today, I asked my dad if my girlfriend could sleep over. He winked at me and agreed. When I brought her home, we went to my room for a quickie. There, I saw that my dad had taped multiple Richard Simmons posters to the wall, causing my girlfriend to suddenly come down with a "headache." FML
Today, my girlfriend came over to my place, looking drop dead gorgeous. However, she preferred the idea of sleeping, and here I am on my laptop. FML
Today, my girl and I were in bed trying to nap before class. She kept tossing and turning, obvious signs that she was having no luck. Sweetly, I ask her if there was anything I could do to help her relax. She says "you can tell me a story about your day, that always puts me to sleep". FML
Today, my girlfriend of two years called me over late at night. I got excited, assuming she finally wanted sex. No, she just wanted me to make her mac and cheese and talk to her because she was ‘restless’. FML
Today, I recently started seeing a girl and I slept over at her house for the first time. Apparently, I still talk in my sleep. This morning she told me I whispered, "I love you so much." FML
Today, I went to work things out with my girlfriend, with whom I'd had a huge fight with. She told me the night before to come over at noon and that she would be awake. I unlocked the door to see that the place was a mess. She'd thrown a party and was still passed out naked next to her boss. FML
Today, I got to meet the guy that I have been talking to over a dating website. We were having a great time, at least until I managed to randomly fall asleep in front of him. I spent the rest of the day sending text messages trying to explain to him that I suffer from narcolepsy. FML
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Top comments
lucky0514 0
WTF is wrong with you people... "texting" for four days and you wanna have sex with her? YDIYDIYDI
Neferria 0
Wait, why did she want to come to your place for a nap?
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Comments (173)
Perfectfailure 0
wow i totally feel your pain bro. what a prude. i would have slapped her ass and told her to get the hell outa my house. but wtf is wrong with you people? of course he didn't deserve it. its within every mans right to expect something in the bedroom and that disappointment is unparalleled. when a girl says "nap" that's a very prime indicator for take me. some shy girls are not able to make the advances that others could so laying there is the best they got. and btw, he's not saying he got turned down, he's saying he expected something that he didn't get. Thats the FML. That's all FML's.
thecryingpotato 0
And how long have you known this girl? Pedophile....
MetalProphet 0
Ok im a guy so coming from me...Naps are nice. Sooo dont bitch?
alli1 0
Ok....after 4 DAYS of TEXTING a girl u think ur gona get some?!? jesus! what has this world come to??
caltain 0
She said take a nap, not go to bed, you schmuck.
iljajlm 4
Why the hell would you expect her to sleep with you after four days of texting? And last time i checked there was no sexual euphamism for the word "nap". If you want sex from a girl you barely know I'm sure there's a cheap prostitute that will be damn happy to have a go. Or, here's a thought, BE A ******* MAN AND GET A GIRLFRIEND!!!! seriously!!
ZeroMachine 3
...and you didn't feel her up while she was sleeping? What are you gay?
AXavierB 1
You deserved it for expecting sex from someone you only knew for four days through text. And for assuming everything is code for "sex". But yeah, why the hell would she come over just to take a nap? That does seem kind of weird.
Thisbe_fml 0
You are so dumb. In what universe is "I want to take a nap" slang for "Let's have wild sex"??
Egghaus 0
She took a nap in your bedroom, stop complaining.