Today, I had a girl come over to my house that I had been texting for four days. I asked her what she wanted to do and she replied "take a nap". Becoming really excited I lead her to my bedroom and went to the hiding spot for my condoms, she was serious about the nap. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, a girl invited me over to her dorm room at 3 AM. For some reason, I thought it would be a good idea to respond to e-mails just before. She said she was tired and then went to bed. I'm a fucking idiot. FML
Today, my girlfriend of over a year woke me up at 4:30 in the morning by sticking her hand down my pants. She immediately stopped when I was awake enough to reciprocate and said, "I couldn't sleep. I was bored. Talk to me." FML
Today, I was spending the night at my fiancé's house. He knew my period was about to start, so he asked if he needed to put a tarp down on the bed. He was dead serious. FML
Today, I asked my dad if my girlfriend could sleep over. He winked at me and agreed. When I brought her home, we went to my room for a quickie. There, I saw that my dad had taped multiple Richard Simmons posters to the wall, causing my girlfriend to suddenly come down with a "headache." FML
Today, my girlfriend came over to my place, looking drop dead gorgeous. However, she preferred the idea of sleeping, and here I am on my laptop. FML
Today, my girl and I were in bed trying to nap before class. She kept tossing and turning, obvious signs that she was having no luck. Sweetly, I ask her if there was anything I could do to help her relax. She says "you can tell me a story about your day, that always puts me to sleep". FML
Today, my girlfriend of two years called me over late at night. I got excited, assuming she finally wanted sex. No, she just wanted me to make her mac and cheese and talk to her because she was ‘restless’. FML
Today, I recently started seeing a girl and I slept over at her house for the first time. Apparently, I still talk in my sleep. This morning she told me I whispered, "I love you so much." FML
Today, I went to work things out with my girlfriend, with whom I'd had a huge fight with. She told me the night before to come over at noon and that she would be awake. I unlocked the door to see that the place was a mess. She'd thrown a party and was still passed out naked next to her boss. FML
Today, I got to meet the guy that I have been talking to over a dating website. We were having a great time, at least until I managed to randomly fall asleep in front of him. I spent the rest of the day sending text messages trying to explain to him that I suffer from narcolepsy. FML
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Top comments
lucky0514 0
WTF is wrong with you people... "texting" for four days and you wanna have sex with her? YDIYDIYDI
Neferria 0
Wait, why did she want to come to your place for a nap?
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Comments (173)
JStromberg 0
Win
JStromberg 0
Naps > u
CL41RE 0
YDI for not believing her
gofriars 0
OMG. No way! Y'all were texting each other for FOUR WHOLE DAYS?!?!?! and NOTHING HAPPENED?!?!?! What kind of cruel world do we live in?
Plumppotato 3
i completely agree with the post above me!!!!! whole worlds gone to shit.
mjsuper42 0
HAHAHAHA.
mylifeisfedddddd 0
YEAH I KNOW!!!!!! HOW WOULD SHE NOT HAVE WANTED TO DO ANYTHING WITH YOU AFTER TEXTING FOR FOUR WHOLE DAYS!!!!!!!!!!
elchapin562 0
i know, what kind of girl won't give it up after textin for whole days straight? for real though, try gettin some face to face to make sure she aint kidding next time
genius_man16 1
What I want to know is why she went over to some random guys house to take a nap after only texting for 4 days. What's up with that?
Avaquin 0
lol to everything above me :)
bigotcretin 0
seriously, like why couldn't she take a nap at her own house?
KumoFF7 3
YDI for not being able to find your own clit.
badday123 0
haha love the sarcasm
DameGreyWulf 1
56 speaks truth. Also Am I behind the times or something, how do you get the phone/text number (I know shit about cells lol) of someone you don't even know, and then expect them to sleep with you after four days? Or did OP mean IMing? Either way, why would she randomly show up on your doorstep too? I went to visit my own penpal a while back, but we had known each other for a few months before doing that. Do you two live in the same town or something? If you do... WHY COULDN'T YOU LIKE, DUNNO, LITERALLY TALK TO EACH OTHER? And damn, why would you expect ANYTHING after four days of anything - texting, talking, etc - really? Are girls in your town more loose than everyone else's? If you wanted tail so quick, you should have gone to the bar. AND IF she is actually from elsewhere, OF COURSE SHE WOULD PROBABLY WANT A NAP, why wouldn't you believe her? Traveling usually makes you dog-tired, no matter who you are; it is only logical to think that she literally means it when she says "I need a nap" after traveling. And, seriously, is she like really naughty in her texts or something, because why wouldn't you just generally believe her when that was the answer for "what do you want to do first"? If she would have said "I want to eat" would you think she meant eat YOU? ... and since when does nap = sex? Really, I could maybe understand "Oh! She wants to take a nap with me!" (how self-centered lol), because couples literally sleep together (I assume you must be some sort of couple if you had such expectations). And, if that's what happened, oh boo hoo, you at least bonded, yes? Doing cutesy things like that could get you ass later, you know. YDI for expecting anything...
DameGreyWulf 1
accidental textwall [facepalm] Never looks that long down here in the comment box.
g00nie 0
SERIOUSLY!!! One, you barely know the girl, so why would you want to jump into bed with her? And two, since when does 'I want to take a nap' mean 'lets go have sex.' ?
dirtylilwhore 1
You are so funny n so right. Take a nap means take a nap.so funny
dx169 0
Should've had kinky sleep secks.
misty_donna 0
LMAO :) but really, four days? just texting? bet that made you **** in your pants... 0_o
biznib 0
OP is probably young (13-14), inexperienced, and very, very stupid.
Lamia_fml 0
wow....chill, major rant going on there
Albedo667 5
who knows, she probably wanted him to lay down with her amongst other things, he probably didn't even try to do so
Jordie210 0
ha. that sucks. naps FTW
jackalope104 0
How does that suck? Just nap together, and then another time hit that up. Obviously she's in to you if she comes over
spazz666 18
So hanging out with a guy friend means she wants the D? Oh. I've been leading my friends on then.
Neferria 0
Wait, why did she want to come to your place for a nap?
possumisawesome 0
Maybe she wanted to hang out with him, but was really tired, and when offered, took the opportunity to nap?
ZuRG_fml 7
Maybe she really likes naps? You ever try a good napping buddy? It's awesome and can be a good foot in the door for naughty things later, while getting bonus points for restraint. PS, napping means napping, not trying to feel her up, grind on her, "accidentally" poke her, etc. Maybe do an inquiring tickle to test the mood, but srsly, having someone bug you for sex when you're really trying to sleep is le suk.
schindler12345 24
Maybe his bed is more comfy.
jrl585 0
lol ok...... well then ahhh i cant really say anything bout this one lol cept FAIL lol
lucky0514 0
WTF is wrong with you people... "texting" for four days and you wanna have sex with her? YDIYDIYDI
The_Cait 0
Agreed.
TPandaManT 0
What can they say? They were obviously anxious. And eager. Apparently guys as a gender FAIL. Well, at least expectations are low. Lol.
Skull_300 0
You gave her a racoon mask to cover her eyes didn't you?
iljajlm 4
Lacey that was a kickass speach! Could not have said it better myself. and i agree with panda man. Men do fail as a gender. This coming from a not-so-proud-member of this gender.
SmallTownCutie 0
this comment made my day(:
rusrsbrah 0
Not ALL guys blow. Just this one in particular. I agree 4 days is too soon, and if anything the nap was a "hey let's cuddle" not "hey let's ****!!" Either way YDI. Especially for calling it a "secret stash of condoms." They're condoms bro, not pot, not Osama Bin Laden, Not your guide on how to "please the pussy", condoms. NBD.
garviel 0
silly americans and your "multiple dates before sex" sex is fun, why wait?
DSaturn 16
because no matter how careful you are, sex can always lead to a baby. at the very least you should only risk it with someone who will pitch in with the consequences.
junjouromantica 0
Look's like there's no cake for you.
junjouromantica 0
Ah, I meant to say the cake is a lie.
Cloudy_fml 0
The soup is a lie!
fatass123 0
I beat Portal- the cake is NOT a lie, don't believe the scratchy writing on the walls
TheElfThatLied 0
Well, it's not as if you knew her all that long...
Paige_Nicole10 0
thats weird for a new relationship
teentee401 37
Nap =/= sex
RichYungReverse 0
No obvisously this dude said the right things to get a girl to come over just by texting in 4 days. Girls never say anything direct they sugar coat shit like "come over we can watch this movie" I dont remember the last time i went over a girls house to "watch a movie" and actually watched it.
alex33wilson 12
Yeah because she kicked you out before the movie even started
notlovingit 0
lmao perhaps if you were TALKING to her instead of TEXTING - then she'd want to do more in your bedroom than nap ;)
TPandaManT 0
I say, "You win some, you lose some." And This guys probably Least Valuable Player. Lol. Sorry Man. YDI