Today, I had a girl come over to my house that I had been texting for four days. I asked her what she wanted to do and she replied "take a nap". Becoming really excited I lead her to my bedroom and went to the hiding spot for my condoms, she was serious about the nap. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, a girl invited me over to her dorm room at 3 AM. For some reason, I thought it would be a good idea to respond to e-mails just before. She said she was tired and then went to bed. I'm a fucking idiot. FML
Today, my girlfriend of over a year woke me up at 4:30 in the morning by sticking her hand down my pants. She immediately stopped when I was awake enough to reciprocate and said, "I couldn't sleep. I was bored. Talk to me." FML
Today, I was spending the night at my fiancé's house. He knew my period was about to start, so he asked if he needed to put a tarp down on the bed. He was dead serious. FML
Today, I asked my dad if my girlfriend could sleep over. He winked at me and agreed. When I brought her home, we went to my room for a quickie. There, I saw that my dad had taped multiple Richard Simmons posters to the wall, causing my girlfriend to suddenly come down with a "headache." FML
Today, my girlfriend came over to my place, looking drop dead gorgeous. However, she preferred the idea of sleeping, and here I am on my laptop. FML
Today, my girl and I were in bed trying to nap before class. She kept tossing and turning, obvious signs that she was having no luck. Sweetly, I ask her if there was anything I could do to help her relax. She says "you can tell me a story about your day, that always puts me to sleep". FML
Today, my girlfriend of two years called me over late at night. I got excited, assuming she finally wanted sex. No, she just wanted me to make her mac and cheese and talk to her because she was ‘restless’. FML
Today, I recently started seeing a girl and I slept over at her house for the first time. Apparently, I still talk in my sleep. This morning she told me I whispered, "I love you so much." FML
Today, I went to work things out with my girlfriend, with whom I'd had a huge fight with. She told me the night before to come over at noon and that she would be awake. I unlocked the door to see that the place was a mess. She'd thrown a party and was still passed out naked next to her boss. FML
Today, I got to meet the guy that I have been talking to over a dating website. We were having a great time, at least until I managed to randomly fall asleep in front of him. I spent the rest of the day sending text messages trying to explain to him that I suffer from narcolepsy. FML
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Top comments
lucky0514 0
WTF is wrong with you people... "texting" for four days and you wanna have sex with her? YDIYDIYDI
Neferria 0
Wait, why did she want to come to your place for a nap?
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Comments (173)
SirWTF 10
Ah, well.. you can smell the pillow she used to sleep on to jack off to. For a guy like the OP's desperation .. anything will work
pippacrawford 4
I'm a girl, and if I can't imagine using "nap" as code word for "sex". If I was trying to be subtle I'd probably ask him to join me on the couch for a movie and then snuggle under a blanket. But we take our naps seriously too you know, so YDI
rivaraven 35
My boyfriend often suggest taking a nap. U know. Sleeping?
LissaMccracken 23
Since when is "take a nap" code for "bump uglies"!? Kids these days, I swear...
JRT1393 13
Dumbass
Nederlander95 14
Four days? Have some patience OP
vandeele 8
Wow... 4 days?? And you're expecting to get laid already? You must be used to loosey goosey slutbags. YDI. Not every girl is a floozy facade. Some actually have self-respect.
mrningbrd 19
What did you think was gonna happen? You need to learn to take people seriously
fantasyworld 39
It has only been four days. Patience OP.
Tyrez 32
How the hell do you get intercourse from nap you horny bastard.