Today, I had a girl come over to my house that I had been texting for four days. I asked her what she wanted to do and she replied "take a nap". Becoming really excited I lead her to my bedroom and went to the hiding spot for my condoms, she was serious about the nap. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, a girl invited me over to her dorm room at 3 AM. For some reason, I thought it would be a good idea to respond to e-mails just before. She said she was tired and then went to bed. I'm a fucking idiot. FML
Today, my girlfriend of over a year woke me up at 4:30 in the morning by sticking her hand down my pants. She immediately stopped when I was awake enough to reciprocate and said, "I couldn't sleep. I was bored. Talk to me." FML
Today, I was spending the night at my fiancé's house. He knew my period was about to start, so he asked if he needed to put a tarp down on the bed. He was dead serious. FML
Today, I asked my dad if my girlfriend could sleep over. He winked at me and agreed. When I brought her home, we went to my room for a quickie. There, I saw that my dad had taped multiple Richard Simmons posters to the wall, causing my girlfriend to suddenly come down with a "headache." FML
Today, my girlfriend came over to my place, looking drop dead gorgeous. However, she preferred the idea of sleeping, and here I am on my laptop. FML
Today, my girl and I were in bed trying to nap before class. She kept tossing and turning, obvious signs that she was having no luck. Sweetly, I ask her if there was anything I could do to help her relax. She says "you can tell me a story about your day, that always puts me to sleep". FML
Today, my girlfriend of two years called me over late at night. I got excited, assuming she finally wanted sex. No, she just wanted me to make her mac and cheese and talk to her because she was ‘restless’. FML
Today, I recently started seeing a girl and I slept over at her house for the first time. Apparently, I still talk in my sleep. This morning she told me I whispered, "I love you so much." FML
Today, I went to work things out with my girlfriend, with whom I'd had a huge fight with. She told me the night before to come over at noon and that she would be awake. I unlocked the door to see that the place was a mess. She'd thrown a party and was still passed out naked next to her boss. FML
Today, I got to meet the guy that I have been talking to over a dating website. We were having a great time, at least until I managed to randomly fall asleep in front of him. I spent the rest of the day sending text messages trying to explain to him that I suffer from narcolepsy. FML
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Top comments
lucky0514 0
WTF is wrong with you people... "texting" for four days and you wanna have sex with her? YDIYDIYDI
Neferria 0
Wait, why did she want to come to your place for a nap?
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Comments (173)
bigotcretin 0
also most women are usually comfortable enough with a man to sleep with him between 4-10 hour face time mark. Scientifically proven.
Allornone 35
Um, even if you could back up your "scientifically proven" theory with actual science, he's been TEXTING her. The only face time he's had is with his phone
VenomSiphon 13
You were texting your house for four days? Grammar fail.
mlleangelique 3
Ignoring the more general fail of this, the grammar is technically ambiguous but perfectly correct (and shouldn't be expected to be different given that the context makes the subject clear). Well, apart from the final comma.
Ranoona 0
hahahaha X)
jessica21194 0
oh come on, taking naps together is cute.
shaeto 0
I didn't know houses could own cell phones. Word your sentences better next time.
Music_rocks 7
"because of"
plexico 4
Or, it may be that lingo is too old for you. I had a friend who used that code phrase 20+ years ago. The girl probably meant "take a nap" as code for sex, but when she saw the OP, she went literal. Instead of telling the dude he was too fat or ugly to "take a nap" with, wink-wink, nudge-nudge, she took the innocent route. Way to keep ypur options open, babe!
OnDistantShores 0
She said she wanted to take a nap. Then you get sad when she wants to take a nap. Umm...did I miss something here?
RandomBlonde 0
YDI for assuming she'd want to sleep with a douche like you. Because its SO sad that a girl wouldn't want to **** a guy shes only been texting for four days. Theres this thing, its kinda mushy and grey-ish, and located within your skull; Its called a BRAIN. USE IT.
arctic1 0
your really dumb!!!! ydi