Today, I had a girl come over to my house that I had been texting for four days. I asked her what she wanted to do and she replied "take a nap". Becoming really excited I lead her to my bedroom and went to the hiding spot for my condoms, she was serious about the nap. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, a girl invited me over to her dorm room at 3 AM. For some reason, I thought it would be a good idea to respond to e-mails just before. She said she was tired and then went to bed. I'm a fucking idiot. FML
Today, my girlfriend of over a year woke me up at 4:30 in the morning by sticking her hand down my pants. She immediately stopped when I was awake enough to reciprocate and said, "I couldn't sleep. I was bored. Talk to me." FML
Today, I was spending the night at my fiancé's house. He knew my period was about to start, so he asked if he needed to put a tarp down on the bed. He was dead serious. FML
Today, I asked my dad if my girlfriend could sleep over. He winked at me and agreed. When I brought her home, we went to my room for a quickie. There, I saw that my dad had taped multiple Richard Simmons posters to the wall, causing my girlfriend to suddenly come down with a "headache." FML
Today, my girlfriend came over to my place, looking drop dead gorgeous. However, she preferred the idea of sleeping, and here I am on my laptop. FML
Today, my girl and I were in bed trying to nap before class. She kept tossing and turning, obvious signs that she was having no luck. Sweetly, I ask her if there was anything I could do to help her relax. She says "you can tell me a story about your day, that always puts me to sleep". FML
Today, my girlfriend of two years called me over late at night. I got excited, assuming she finally wanted sex. No, she just wanted me to make her mac and cheese and talk to her because she was ‘restless’. FML
Today, I recently started seeing a girl and I slept over at her house for the first time. Apparently, I still talk in my sleep. This morning she told me I whispered, "I love you so much." FML
Today, I went to work things out with my girlfriend, with whom I'd had a huge fight with. She told me the night before to come over at noon and that she would be awake. I unlocked the door to see that the place was a mess. She'd thrown a party and was still passed out naked next to her boss. FML
Today, I got to meet the guy that I have been talking to over a dating website. We were having a great time, at least until I managed to randomly fall asleep in front of him. I spent the rest of the day sending text messages trying to explain to him that I suffer from narcolepsy. FML
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Top comments
lucky0514 0
WTF is wrong with you people... "texting" for four days and you wanna have sex with her? YDIYDIYDI
Neferria 0
Wait, why did she want to come to your place for a nap?
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Comments (173)
glennabobenna 0
how do naps=sex???
CDS09 0
wow, what else signifies sex to you? "go to a movie" = sex "have dinner" = sex "leave me alone" = sex And as mentioned above, you knew her for 4 days...if someone is willing to have sex with someone they just met, they probably aren't going to be so inconspicuous YDI on so many levels.
Tchernov9 0
"Lets not have sex"= Sex. "LETS HAVE SEX!"= No Sex.
englishmuffin 0
"leave me alone" = sex
CL41RE 0
XD that seems true with a lot of fmls
piddly_03 0
"she could fall pregnant"? its not a disease.
ScaryPants3 0
Shows how stupid guys can be. Four days of texting, and you really expected something to happen? I say win for her not being a ****. But for you FAIL.
theanonymoose 3
Man, for four days effort of texting she totally should have been willing to take it in the butt.
hi_from_HI 0
Wow ...texting. And for four days? You sure know how to be personal and how to take it slow.
avidfmylife 6
on the bright side, at least u dont have to play guessing games with this girl---she says what she means!
aback 5
On the other hand, why would you go take a nap at someone's house when you've only known them four days? Is she homeless? She plays this shit at a frat house, she's going to get a surprise.
lobby0ne 0
Epic Fail
GabriLee 0
How does "take a nap" equal sex in any language? It could totally equal cuddling... but Sex?
prettykitty123 0
Wow you texted her for 4 days and expected to have sex? You're an idiot. YDI