Today, I had a girl come over to my house that I had been texting for four days. I asked her what she wanted to do and she replied "take a nap". Becoming really excited I lead her to my bedroom and went to the hiding spot for my condoms, she was serious about the nap. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, a girl invited me over to her dorm room at 3 AM. For some reason, I thought it would be a good idea to respond to e-mails just before. She said she was tired and then went to bed. I'm a fucking idiot. FML
Today, my girlfriend of over a year woke me up at 4:30 in the morning by sticking her hand down my pants. She immediately stopped when I was awake enough to reciprocate and said, "I couldn't sleep. I was bored. Talk to me." FML
Today, I was spending the night at my fiancé's house. He knew my period was about to start, so he asked if he needed to put a tarp down on the bed. He was dead serious. FML
Today, I asked my dad if my girlfriend could sleep over. He winked at me and agreed. When I brought her home, we went to my room for a quickie. There, I saw that my dad had taped multiple Richard Simmons posters to the wall, causing my girlfriend to suddenly come down with a "headache." FML
Today, my girlfriend came over to my place, looking drop dead gorgeous. However, she preferred the idea of sleeping, and here I am on my laptop. FML
Today, my girl and I were in bed trying to nap before class. She kept tossing and turning, obvious signs that she was having no luck. Sweetly, I ask her if there was anything I could do to help her relax. She says "you can tell me a story about your day, that always puts me to sleep". FML
Today, my girlfriend of two years called me over late at night. I got excited, assuming she finally wanted sex. No, she just wanted me to make her mac and cheese and talk to her because she was ‘restless’. FML
Today, I recently started seeing a girl and I slept over at her house for the first time. Apparently, I still talk in my sleep. This morning she told me I whispered, "I love you so much." FML
Today, I went to work things out with my girlfriend, with whom I'd had a huge fight with. She told me the night before to come over at noon and that she would be awake. I unlocked the door to see that the place was a mess. She'd thrown a party and was still passed out naked next to her boss. FML
Today, I got to meet the guy that I have been talking to over a dating website. We were having a great time, at least until I managed to randomly fall asleep in front of him. I spent the rest of the day sending text messages trying to explain to him that I suffer from narcolepsy. FML
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Top comments
lucky0514 0
WTF is wrong with you people... "texting" for four days and you wanna have sex with her? YDIYDIYDI
Neferria 0
Wait, why did she want to come to your place for a nap?
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Comments (173)
saze_fml 0
what is this chick ******* homeless or something?! she can't sleep at her place?
deathbunny256 0
Next time wait until the fifth day of texting.
fooliomcgee 0
How in the world does "You know, I would like to take a nap" translate to sex? And four days, damn, long time to know a person...
kisseshugsdrugs 5
wait a second, youve been texting for four whole days and she wont have sex with you? where are the lack of morals these days?
hashi1 0
You are stupid. But I have to agree with someone above me....seriously who comes over to someone else's house to take a nap?
fmh123 0
not really a FYI, i may sound like a pansy but taking a nap with a girl aint bad
iloveyou_baybe1 0
This is NOT a FML. It should be, "Today, i thought i could have sex with someone i've only talked to for four days. I was wrong because i'm a dumbass. FML." THAT would have made a lick a sense! GEEZ! Anyway, guys like you are total douche bags.
bee13 0
I feel sorry for yah, but you shouldn't of expected anything and you shoulda believed her.
artiststatement 21
YDI for spelling your username wrong.
xevioso 0
was about to say something like that. lol.
bigotcretin 0
you guys are ******* idiots, she said she was coming over and she was intending on doing an activity in bed, why the hell wouldn't he think it was for sex? She could've easily took a nap at home instead of inconveniencing herself to go to a guys house whom she barely knows!