Today, I was spending the night at my fiancé's house. He knew my period was about to start, so he asked if he needed to put a tarp down on the bed. He was dead serious. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I called my boyfriend and asked if he wanted to come watch a movie. He seemed eager, until I said I needed the company because my period had started. He then went dead silent, waited a few seconds before starting to fake-snore, then hung up on me. FML
Today, I was startled awake at 4am by a loud and awful sound. Completely serious, I asked my fiancé if he had just shit his pants. His response: giggles followed by a softly whispered "maybe". FML
Today, while I was at my boyfriend's house, I got my period. About an hour after I told him, he impatiently said, "Is it over yet?" FML
Today, I let my boyfriend sleep over at my house for the first time. Upon arriving, he tossed his stuff on the floor and said "I gotta take a piss, where's your shower?" FML
Today, I had a girl come over to my house that I had been texting for four days. I asked her what she wanted to do and she replied "take a nap". Becoming really excited I lead her to my bedroom and went to the hiding spot for my condoms, she was serious about the nap. FML
Today, my boyfriend wanted me to sleep over at his house. Then he found out that it was that time of the month for me, so he told me that he had to work this weekend and said "see you sometime next week." He doesn't have a job. FML
Today, I apparently had diarrhea in my sleep. I had to get up and sneak to the bathroom so as to not wake my husband. When he asked about the stain, I panicked and told him I started my period. FML
Today, I got ready to stay over at my boyfriend's house. I brought food, new lingerie, and I got a bikini wax. I did stay overnight, but I was holding a bucket for him because he had gastroenteritis. FML
Today, my fiancé had a nightmare and sat bolt upright in bed, claimed he had a nightmare where we were married, then his head hit the pillow and he was asleep again. That was his nightmare. Us being married. FML
Today, I came home to my boyfriend wearing one of my pads on his hand, because he didn't want to pay to go to the hospital for stitches. FML
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Top comments
Tripartita 45
That seems a bit like overkill, doesn't it? You should just stick to the standard practice of covering yourself in Saran Wrap and hopping around the house.
vicfirthfan 11
Maybe he meant put a tarp down during sex. It can sometimes be a little messy. Although a towel would make more sense in that case
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Comments (73)
Red_Ralph 16
He's just uninformed. Don't blame him OP. Unless he's being a douchebag, then you should have a talk with him :)
slapstick1982 22
Means to an end
Ramisme 12
I don't see the problem here. period sex isn't bad.
19teej96 19
You sir. Clearly don't know what is actually going on inside a woman on her period then.
Ramisme 12
well then enlighten me, oh mighty one.
Lizzy500 16
Depends on the uterus involved.
Isa_fml 20
I think the point is that a TARP is kind of overkill.
9a_z1 11
I dunno I've been in situations where using a tarp would have saved some perfectly good towels. Not exactly sexy though, is it?
TCRII 30
Throw down some towels and make a crime scene.
Ramisme 12
maybe he didn't want to ruin his towels and a tarp was the only other thing he had. I still don't understand why this is an fml unless the whole point was that OPs fiancé didn't know about tampons or pads and thought she needed a tarp to keep her from bleeding everyone not just during sex. but other than that, it literally makes zero sense.
crudeandrudeguy 29
How do you stay that uninformed all the way to marriage age, it seems almost as if he just doesn't care enough to learn.
Sammeydw 22
If he was raised in a conservative / religious environment, it is quite possable that he may not know basic biology. Example: One of my freinds was so 'in the dark' that they spent half of their honeymoon bringing him 'up to speed' knowledge wise. As the 'adults' around him only told him what not to do, and avoided / warped the facts.
jvanevery 19
unless you grow up with sisters you're. not going to know very much about women's periods it's not really a common topic of casual conversation
abbyade 21
If he is dead serious. Sit him down and advice him regarding the fact that it's 2017 and things like pads and tampons exists. This isn't just for you as it will help to prevent him from future embarrassment amongst his friends and strangers. Lol ignorance isn't always bliss sometimes.
Aethereal 14
I reckon the FML is about him wanting to have sex during her period. Some couples do it, though it can be a bit messy.
farmgirl98 14
Giving advice from the future? Now that's impressive!
soulreaper12296 28
Or maybe OP's boyfriend was trying to make a joke.
socialproduct 19
So should she just wait 5 months or so to give him that advice?
domolovesyoshi 33
The OP clearly states "he's serious" so the fiancé was not joking.
AkameGaKill 11
I don't understand why this has many dislikes
socialproduct 19
#64, I think it's most likely because she got the year wrong and then commented about people's ignorance.
wafflesandwich 4
*comma after dead serious *advise, not advice *2016 you're right, ignorance isn't always bliss. neither is bad punctuation, spelling, and lack of knowledge of what year it is
vicfirthfan 11
Maybe he meant put a tarp down during sex. It can sometimes be a little messy. Although a towel would make more sense in that case
TOPsCinderella 25
Yeah, I just assumed he meant for sex lol
fishinpink 20
yo me too #15
TheLostCauseFML 40
Not if the towel is white. XD
farmgirl98 14
He's probably the type who doubles up on condoms for "extra protection" too
Tripartita 45
That seems a bit like overkill, doesn't it? You should just stick to the standard practice of covering yourself in Saran Wrap and hopping around the house.
jvanevery 19
yet another off-the-wall halarious(sp?) comment keep it up
fishinpink 20
??? omg too funny! But seriously period sex is amazing and it actually aids in the cramping and makes the cycle shorter. I do however always but a towel down just in case but rarely have I ever had any "mess" after. missionary is the best way during that time I think bc gravity can't ruin it that way lol
arano 29
It was probably just a joke, OP. Lighten up.