Today, feeling bored and lonely, I drove into town to wander around the shops and go to Subway for lunch. While there, I picked up two trays and put one on the opposite side of the table, along with some of my rubbish, to make it look like I was with someone. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I ate out, even though I was tired. When my main course arrived, I realised I had sent both my forks away with the starter plate. Rather than say anything, I ate dinner with two knives. FML
Today, I managed to not think too much about how alone I feel living in a strange city, and I went out to find a quiet place to write and eat. After I ordered my meal, I saw that I was the only diner that was sitting alone at a table. Then "All By Myself" came on the radio. FML
Today, I invited my girlfriend to go eat out, hoping to put her in a really romantic mood. She decided to tell her friend, who then invited herself and another couple along. I ended up being made fifth wheel, and had to sit alone at an adjacent table. FML
Today, I decided to make new friends, so I sat with the lonely guy at lunch. Now he keeps following me, with his phone in a camera position. FML
Today, I ordered takeout. When I looked in the bag, I saw they'd included four sets of plastic cutlery. In other words, someone at the restaurant packed my order, then estimated that there must be at least four people eating such a large meal. I was eating alone. FML
Today, I was getting a pedicure to cheer myself up. I've been so lonely, I got overly excited when someone sat next to me, because I got to pretend I had a friend. FML
Today, I felt so lonely that I went on an online chat website and pretended to be a girl just so someone would talk to me. FML
Today, I went to the drive-through and ordered 5 cheeseburgers. I told the cashier that some of them were for my girlfriend. I don't have a girlfriend, and I ate all of them by myself. FML
Today, I took the time to make myself look nice just so that the pizza guy would think I had a life. FML
Today, I was so lonely that I had a conversation with myself on my way home. It was only when I reached my apartment complex that I discovered that my neighbour had been walking behind me, laughing to himself the whole way. FML
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Top comments
narkill 13
5 dollar foot lonely.
filip00 16
Since when are people so obsessed about trying to impress random strangers? Who cares if you're alone or with someone?
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Comments (55)
narkill 13
5 dollar foot lonely.
AquaBaby 11
Sorry OP, but at least you have no one else's rubbish to deal with.
x3jmac27 22
I am pretty sure at this point OP would love to have someone to deal with.
domking1315 20
Did you, by any chance, tell your coworkers a lie about where you really were and get caught eating by yourself?
TheLittleBear 19
There's no shame in eating alone, OP!
acetl87 12
I agree. its nice to enjoy solitude sometimes.
jasmine2301 25
69, you OK?
filip00 16
Since when are people so obsessed about trying to impress random strangers? Who cares if you're alone or with someone?
SmittyKick 18
Because some people were raised to keep up a Certain Façade, and it never changed for them
Bano360 25
I don't exactly care what strangers think of me. Just what my friends think.
x3jmac27 22
To be honest, I cant stand walking alone or being alone in public. For me I don't like when people look at me and they know I am alone. It drives me nuts. It just all depends on who you are. And for me I only have like 2 friends so I know how lonely OP feels, I suck at making friends and when I try to people blow me off all the time.
LowExpectations 30
Humans and their friendship. The Master needs no, no one!
LowExpectations 30
*Harold Saxon* Oops.
melons 44
65, trust me, no-one cares or notices that you're on your own.
BeccaHugs 17
Maybe next time you could ask a friend/coworker/family member to go with you so you wouldn't have to pretend? Or you could enjoy spending time on your own and not need to constantly worry about what other passer-bys might be thinking.
mFUNdo21 17
maybe you should try making friends
SmittyKick 18
#7- Such Wisdom! Tell me more, oh great one!
mFUNdo21 17
instead of moping about and PRETENDING to have friends, OP could actually go out into the world and MAKE friends
Komaeda 14
Probably her friends were busy at that time? Don't just assume people don't have friends because they're alone.
SmittyKick 18
There we go, now that's where you were headed
HowieDoIt 21
Reminds me of the old pixar short film with the old guy playing chess with himself. Cheer up, OP, you never know when you'll meet a good friend!
gracehi 33
Because there is no greater shame than eating a sandwich alone. Except maybe "eating a sandwich" alone, if you know what I mean.
DocBastard 40
Two problems here: 1) You don't need to impress strangers. Who the **** cares what they think. 2) Subway. Enough said.
Faff 20
Why do you hate Subway?
perdix 31
#14, because they are ridiculously stingy with the meat! You could eat their Roast Beef sub and still be considered a vegan in 36 states! 5-dollar-foot-long? Bullshit! All that did was jack up the price on their only good deal, the Veggie sub.
TheLittleBear 19
My husband hates Subway. He says it's the smell. Each to their own I guess.
Zebediabolical 45
Wow. Around here they put plenty of meat on the sammiches. In fact when I picked up a double-meat sub for a friend of mine it was stuffed so full they had trouble closing and cutting it.
beelee1988 13
Simply requesting more meat doesn't hurt.
DocBastard 40
I used to like Subway. And then I graduated college and realised I could make a better sammich for 1/4 the price myself.
RedPillSucks 33
@22 I think it smells also. For the same reason, I don't like Subways... Call me naive, but I thought OP was going into the restaurants in the subway system (some of them do have restaurants) for lunch. Cause why the hell would you actually eat at "Subway"??
Faff 20
#19, But an average Subway sandwich contains a lot more real meat than a burger from McDonald's or Burger King.