Today, I got kicked in the crotch. It popped my cherry. I lost my virginity to a shoe. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Today, I was kicked in the crotch. The girl who did it thought I was her ex-boyfriend. I'm a girl. FML
Today, I broke my little toe. It got stuck in my panties as I struggled to get a leg through. FML
Ninja skills
Today, my sister kicked me up the ass with such precision that I’m still bleeding from my asshole where the toe of her shoe tore the skin. FML
Toot toot
Today, I had my new boyfriend come over. Within five minutes of him arriving, I accidentally let one rip. Shocked, I quickly tried to explain it away with, "That was my shoe." I was barefoot. FML
Today, after walking in on my roommate, I found out that pleasuring yourself with a shoe is a thing. It wouldn't have been so bad if the shoe hadn't been mine. FML
Change it!
Today, I had sex with a friend. It was really good too! Until she kicked me in my right nut while changing positions. FML
A tale as old as time
Today, I was about to lose my virginity. I couldn't get it up. FML
Today, I gave my virginity to my boyfriend. All I got in return was rug burn and an infection. FML
Today, I was trying to wiggle my boxer shorts off to get it on with my girlfriend when my knee hooked on the elastic band. I was anxious to get started, so I used force and ended up kneeing my girlfriend in the crotch. FML
Rough
Today, I lost my virginity. We did it on the floor in my step-sister's room, and the entire time he kept pushing my head into the carpet. I lost my V-card but gained rug burn on my face that looks like a fatal disease. FML
Top comments
emerluvsu 6
That's the most original fml I've ever heard.
123zc1 3
Omg I almost died laughing
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Comments (571)
cetlawizard 15
You did NOT lose your virginity to anything, much less a shoe. Popping a cherry is really just an expression NOT a reality. There is NO actual cherry to pop, although sometimes the hymen tearing sounds like a pop, whilst usually the "popping" sound can be from air escaping the vaginal canal & can make a "pop" type of sound. I've personally been witness to both. So don't believe all the crap others tell you, ask a DR, nurse, or someone else who knows medical truth to it, kids believe way too many things made up or imagined by other kids, liars, or just plain ignorant people who don't REALLY know. So, unless you have had actual sexual intercourse with someone then your are STILL a virgin. :)
MuziKMajoR 5
Please tell me why you sent this. This isn't sex Ed
cetlawizard 15
I know it's not sex ED obviously, yet there are (as some of the comments before mine have shown) ALOT of people who are either ignorant to the facts or want others to believe nonsense. Just setting the record straight for those people and to let OP know what the truth of the matter is & that she need not worry about her virginity OR people whose comments were pure rubbish. Why did you feel you needed to ask me to explain myself, are you one of her parents? That's a rhetorical question. No need to reply. :)
ZoeElizabeth 0
Well I mean I get what your saying but look at it this way: if your a virgin let's say at a brothel your a "virgin" if your "cherry isn't popped". In fact they sow the hymen back together multiple times to sell them as high price virgins. Or in Jewish culture if your hymen didn't break with a gush of blood following, you were a ***** and most likely stoned for being impure even if you did just lose it to a shoe. By technical terms she is no longer a virgin. But in all rationality she is still a virgin.
erin0 8
Might not be a native English speaker. Idioms are hard. Edit: Argh, wrong place. Sorry.
EddieK91 5
O.o Just because the hymen is broke doesn't mean you're not a virgin. You only lose your virginity during sexual intercourse. The hymen could've even been broken just by playing sports, riding bikes, horse backing, etc.
Spinner828 0
oh my! well at least when you gave sex you won't have to worry
littletincknell 0
That must suck... But wait did you not pop it when you used tampons? That's what does it for most... Either way, very unfortunate story..!
cupcakemonster12 0
Some people wear pads retard
twilgirl 1
Lmao!!!
MuziKMajoR 5
FORINICATION....*****....*****.....*****
lovecookie1 1
how far did the show go?!
loghan_fml 5
Lawlz!
VixSparda 5
thats statitory rape. sue the person who did it
chengy4191 7
Well atleast your first time won't hurt and you'll actually enjoy it ;)