Today, I rented a drill to a straight-up valley girl, with the speech affect, Von Dutch patrol cap and all. I tried to disabuse of her of the idea that aluminum is a form of steel. Apparently, that constitutes being a smartass, so she threw her change at me. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, a woman cursed me out, called me a perverted freak, and said I should be ashamed of myself because I had asked her "How much for one night?." She works in a toy shop, I was with my five year old daughter, and was pointing to the sign, "Rent A Helium Tank!" FML
Today, my wife is pissed I bought a $600 drill set on sale for only $200, because the one I had wasn't strong enough for the job i just started at. Yet the $300 I just spent for her to go to a concert isn't even in a the equation. FML
Today, a customer bought several drill bits. When I asked him, "Do you want a bag for your bits?" he just stared at me uncomfortably, apparently thinking I was trying to come onto him. FML
Today, a girl threatened to castrate me if I didn’t refund her for a remote control that SHE damaged. FML
Today, I got into an argument with a militantly feminist co-worker of mine. She threw several vulgar insults at me and debased the entire male gender before storming off. I'd only asked if she needed help while she was doing a crossword. FML
Today, a customer was looking for some decking materials. I took her around the store and pointed out some nice plywood, noting that it's also fire-retardant, which might interest her. She got pissed off and bitched me out for supposedly calling her a retard. FML
Today, my friend showed off her new tattoo, which is supposed to say "bad bitch" in Italian, and I had to point out that it actually says "defective female". Her response was to cuss me out and inform me that I'm no longer part of her social circle. FML
Today, a drive-thru customer ordered a deal that includes fries and a drink with the sandwich. When I gave it to her, she screamed at me because she "didn't order fries." When I brought up that the deal includes them, she told me I should have "figured it out," called me a "fugly fat slob," and sped off. FML
Today, I got bitched out by some lady in a Walmart because I looked at her funny while she was on the phone, loudly bragging about "slapping the shit out of" her kids. FML
Today, it was my birthday. I'd told my wife i would love a new battery drill, finally getting a decent one after all these years, and picked out a few nice ones. I opened the present: another cheap off-brand drill. They "didn't have any of the ones I picked out", but this one came with free drill bits. All useless. FML
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Top comments
catgrrl00 0
Wow, I enjoy how, in your haste to make yourself sound intellectually superior to the Valley girl, you totally screwed up what you were trying to say. And, seriously, if getting change thrown at you after completely insulting and likely belittling/mocking a customer to her face is traumatic enough for you to say FML, then you are surely living a charmed life. YDI for SURE!
IOwnedYou 0
Didn`t follow a word he said, can someone explain?
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Comments (143)
turner2404 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
first but seriously FYL
sublime93 0
...I don't get it And she threw her change at you? Like, coins? So the **** what?
turbosexophonic 0
no, I'M first!
azi_16 0
Ok let me see if I get this...your FML is that you asumed this girl was stupid and she, obviously offended, threw change at you? Not only that but what exactly is wrong with having an accent...talking differently does not make someone an idiot...so why would you even say something like that. I'd certainly be offended if someone assumed I had so little intellect that I wouldn't know the difference between steel and aluminum.
gizmo_987 0
it seems like she knew the difference, and the OP didn't say she was an idiot. He implies that the girl thought foil was a form of steel, that speaks for itself.
CookiMonster2005 0
Talking like OH EM GEE! and I DEE KAY! is not an accent. It's stupidity. I'm pretty sure that's what he meant.
voodootrucker 0
it says aluminum not aluminum foil,talk about a idiot
gummibehrs 4
Actually it wouldn't be "speech affect". It would be "speech effect".
njpantherfan 0
Actually, it is "affect", with the emphasis on "aff". Speech affect deals with how people pronounce certain words. So saying this girl was a valley girl means she probably speaks "like oh mah gawd, fer sherrr". Stereotypical, but you get the idea.
rainbow_laces 0
Ha ha lol, poor guy :( She sounds like a **** :)
whitneynicolie 0
yeah cause throwing your change at someone like totally helps the sitiuation like oh my god, im like totalllly gonnna do that next time i get mad at like someone. and then like watch how hard they like laugh in my face. i dont like understand why they like laugh at me all the time and like oh my god new text message, like totally awesome duuuuude! umm like what was the question again? haha im sorry, just had to do it
MeandSunnyD 0
lol #3
liveBabylon 0
I got mad at my someone and I threw my change at them, they looked sad :( and told me to **** off. aha
whitneynicolie 0
haha, i threw french fries at someone once, lol
i_is_a_tr00l 0
You're a gay dumbfuck. And I hope you took her change. No 50 cents for that hoe! Go buy yourself something nice. ;]
waterynuggets 0
Your life is ****** because she made it rain on you? She brought change, it's what we voted for last year, you'll live buddy.
SpitFyre 0
Lolz, this is win
BadOwner 0
#5 right on
iheart 0
#5 for the win lol
catgrrl00 0
Wow, I enjoy how, in your haste to make yourself sound intellectually superior to the Valley girl, you totally screwed up what you were trying to say. And, seriously, if getting change thrown at you after completely insulting and likely belittling/mocking a customer to her face is traumatic enough for you to say FML, then you are surely living a charmed life. YDI for SURE!
blankslate 0
agreed.
sublime93 0
What?? You spelled it wrong Its aluminum
Kylias 6
TheQuickRedFox, you're my favorite person. Ever.
thequickredofox 0
Why thank you Kylias... your correct use of you're gets you added to my Christmas list :)
diet_otaku 0
let me guess, british? do you also go around nagging people to use "colour" and "criticise" and "manoeuver"? there is absolutely nothing wrong with OP's spelling and the only syntax error is an extra "of" after "disabuse," which is a simple enough typo to make.
thequickredofox 0
diet - is that directed at me, or the other post that keeps popping up at #8? .... I'm Australian and my only bug-bear is your vs you're :)
gummibehrs 4
Why does he have to be British to correct someone's spelling? None of the British I know ever nag how anyone speaks, unless it's absolutely ridiculous. Do you not think that every country has people like that? You just look ridiculous by being prejudiced.
Starayo 1
Just because a whole country of fuckwits can't learn to spell doesn't mean the rest of us have to put up with it.
danceoo 0
that's the american way. aluminium is the english.australian way. and for for the record, it was spelt wrong in the first american dictionaries
gummibehrs 4
Would the country of fuckwits you're referring to be America? There are morons in every country. Sure, Americans are louder and tend to let it be known, but my goodness I've met some of the dumbest people over here too. Some people just don't have the capability for common sense or knowledge.
Nai_fml 0
You've made yet another awesome comment, thequickredofox. Sure, the others were on a different FML, but your comments are still awesome.
Josato 0
"You're". And, I don't know what a 'speech affect' is but I am sure it is derogatory.
metallica99mm 0
speech affect = paris hilton saying "like, omg"...i believe. could be wrong.
domolovesyoshi 33
Who are you correcting?
itsgen 16
ass
Malik_fml 0
I don't get the "rented a drill" part?
minnvik98151 0
I think he means he works at a store that rents power tools, so he was renting a drill to that person? im actually pretty lost by this FML too thats my best bet
IOwnedYou 0
Didn`t follow a word he said, can someone explain?
kyle_kbo20 0
i think he was trying to drill some chick and got rejected... idk. its wrong but i'll just pretend.
gummibehrs 4
Lol, #76. That was great.
ultraslick 0
"disabuse"? someone throw more chance at this tool. So what if she thought aluminum was a type of steel. It's not like she thought it was wood or something. When you work renting power tools at a hardware store, you have no right to be this egotistical.
thequickredofox 0
Yeah, because using the wrong tools for the material you have is in no way potentially dangerous now is it?
mushrooms_fml 0
How was she trying to tell him how to do his job? She wanted to rent a drill, so let her.
mushrooms_fml 0
Organisedchaos - Instead of yelling at everyone and pretending to know what the **** you're talking about, how about pulling your inflated head out of your uptight ass? Goddamn douchebag. I didn't claim to know anything about drills, I merely stated that if she wanted to rent the drill and had the money to do so, than he should have let her. So, **** off and go die please.
thatWOULD_happen 0
he obviously let her rent the drill, or she wouldn't have had the change in her hand.
lifeislife_fml 0
What's wrong with word "disabuse"? There's nothing offensive about disabusing someone of a false idea. Anyway, I don't want to insult anyone's intelligence by explaining what disabuse means, but really, why is it SO wrong to correct someone? Especially if it's about something potentially dangerous.
mushrooms_fml 0
@120 - Obviously you've got problems because you unnecessarily lash out at people making simple comments. Maybe you're secretly gay and ashamed, maybe you've got daddy issues because he agrees like everybody else that you're a worthless waste of space and time. Maybe (very likely) you're a hormonal thirteen-year-old who thinks it's cool to bitch people out and look like a ridiculous idiot. Maybe you're just too big of a moron to understand, which is probably the case since you continue failing to use capitalisation and punctuation. Obviously he offended her, then decided it was and FML because, oh no, he got hit on the forehead with a penny. He was stereotyping and ended up looking worse than she did. Did I ever say anything about the girl not getting her way? Obviously I can read, unlike you. I said he should have kept his mouth shut and let her do what she wanted. His job was to rent tools, not patrol to what use people are putting them. And if anyone irrationally bitches about anything, it's you, the ******* moron who jumps down everybody's throat because you're a prepubescent moron with self-esteem issues. You'll probably reply to this, using more useless and stupid insults, and proving yourself to be a bigger fool than I had initially imagined. However, I don't feel like wasting my time on you anymore, so go ahead and write all you want, it won't make any difference and I won't even read it. Now, if you haven't already been shot because you're an unbearably stupid ********, obey everyone's wishes and commit suicide.
gummibehrs 4
I believe when Mushrooms said "She wanted to rent a drill, so let her" she didn't mean that he should have let her rent the drill. I believe she meant that he should have let her rent the drill without protest.
Fd4Lyfe 0
lol i have no idea what u guyz are arguing about, the OP is an idiot for 2 reasons. Reason 1 is for trying to sound so ******* smart, reason number 2 is hes whining about someone throwing money at him please just leave it at that
mushrooms_fml 0
Ah, organisedchaos, glad to know you're still sadly replying to my comments because you have nothing else to do with your poor, sad, pathetic life. I know you're probably a closet-gay with a tiny penis, and are therefore angry at the world, but you should really try not to post anything online anymore. You just look completely pitiful. I didn't even bother to read your novel of a comment, but I'm sure it was full of empty, dimwitted insults like "fucktard" and "idiot" and "dumbass". So go on however you want, I'm sure you dig through FMLs looking for someone else to scream at unnecessarily, and I'm sure you'll probably reply to this with an enthusiastic rant, but you're just so pathetic that I pity you more than anything. P.S. You should really think about seeing a psychiatrist. You obviously have issues.
friedpwnadge 25
When there's the possibility of damaging the tools because of it, then yea, there is.