Today, I got kicked in the crotch. It popped my cherry. I lost my virginity to a shoe. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Today, I was kicked in the crotch. The girl who did it thought I was her ex-boyfriend. I'm a girl. FML
Today, I broke my little toe. It got stuck in my panties as I struggled to get a leg through. FML
Ninja skills
Today, my sister kicked me up the ass with such precision that I’m still bleeding from my asshole where the toe of her shoe tore the skin. FML
Toot toot
Today, I had my new boyfriend come over. Within five minutes of him arriving, I accidentally let one rip. Shocked, I quickly tried to explain it away with, "That was my shoe." I was barefoot. FML
Today, after walking in on my roommate, I found out that pleasuring yourself with a shoe is a thing. It wouldn't have been so bad if the shoe hadn't been mine. FML
Change it!
Today, I had sex with a friend. It was really good too! Until she kicked me in my right nut while changing positions. FML
A tale as old as time
Today, I was about to lose my virginity. I couldn't get it up. FML
Today, I gave my virginity to my boyfriend. All I got in return was rug burn and an infection. FML
Today, I was trying to wiggle my boxer shorts off to get it on with my girlfriend when my knee hooked on the elastic band. I was anxious to get started, so I used force and ended up kneeing my girlfriend in the crotch. FML
Rough
Today, I lost my virginity. We did it on the floor in my step-sister's room, and the entire time he kept pushing my head into the carpet. I lost my V-card but gained rug burn on my face that looks like a fatal disease. FML
Top comments
emerluvsu 6
That's the most original fml I've ever heard.
123zc1 3
Omg I almost died laughing
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Comments (571)
DreBeezy 9
So how was your first time?
hebron77 0
that's rather awkward.
AidensHorizon 4
So are you available then ;)
s1im5hady 0
Physically impossible. Unless they shoved their shoe inside your ******
drloves69 4
punt the ****
chosha_fml 27
Only by the stupidest definition if virginity ever. You're still a virgin, you nitwit.
aruam365 24
A very similar thing happened to me when I was like 8-9... the only good thing is when you have sex, it doesn't hurt including the first time.
cetlawizard 15
I hope you're not speaking from experience on the part about having sex because you're too young until you're 18, & btw...midwifing is easy, giving birth yourself vaginally to a baby is far worse a pain than getting kicked in the crotch, especially if you get pregnant as a teen. Not hating, just saying.
KhronicSmoke 2
Did you make an orgasmic face and everything????
FrogInTheShadows 15
Popped cherry does not equal lost virginity
suckmineplz 0
in Soviet Russia, the shoe loses it's virginity to you!