Today, I got caught shoplifting a toothbrush. I'm flat broke and my roommate used my old one to scrub out her cat's puke stains off the carpet. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my financial situation is so dire that I tried to steal toilet paper from work. I got caught. FML
Today, I found out my roommate had mistaken my toothbrush for his dog's. So for the last month he's been using my toothbrush on his dog. The dog's favorite meal? Fresh cat poop. FML
Today, I found out that my old roommate used to clean her goldfish bowl with my toothbrush. We lived together for six months. FML
Today, I was moving out of my old place. While walking around to make sure I would get my damage deposit back, I stepped on my roommate's lipstick and smeared it all over the white carpet. Then I tripped on the phone cord and ripped the whole thing out of the wall. FML
Today, after our old roommate left because he was too dirty for us to live with anymore, we found out that our new roommate has "borrowed" our shampoo, towel, toilet paper, liquor, without replacing them. I wish we still only had to clean up. FML
Today, I told my boss I need a scrub brush to properly clean the stairs at my workplace. She gave me an old toothbrush. FML
Today, I got caught trying to steal my own cat back from my neighbor. FML
Today, my roommate finally cleaned her cat's very full litter box. I later found our only good spatula crusted with kitty feces, which she'd left on the kitchen counter for me to find. FML
Today, after a fight, I caught my sister rubbing my toothbrush on the inside of our grimy toilet. This is why I have trust issues. FML
Today, I found out that my little brother has been rubbing my toothbrush in dog shit for the last month because I accidentally broke one of his toys. FML
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Top comments
perdix 31
They'll give you a free toothbrush in jail ;) Make a shiv out of it and cut your roommate when you get out.
Sinamoi 18
Unless you're Aladdin, then it's badass.
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Comments (93)
Britt125 16
You deserved it. It's still stealing, no matter what. There are plenty of cheap toothbrushes, perhaps you should be smarter about how you spend your money, because you can get toothbrushes for a dollar or two (may not be the nicest ones, but they do the job) and it's really sad not to have a dollar or two for something like a toothbrush, at least when you can access the internet to post this... otherwise it might be easier to believe you're just going through a rough spot or something. Still your roommate was an ass for doing that, and they should be paying for a new one anyway. Very rude and disgusting behaviour on their part.
zuzupetalsYO 11
At least she cleaned up the horf. Poor kitty.
Altie 13
There's no excuse for stealing!
VeganVampyre 27
Everyone saying OP should have made the roommate buy a new brush- you can't actually "make" anyone do anything. It's very possible OP tried to get her to pay for a new one and she refused. Only so much you can do about that. Then the only thing left is to get a new one yourself.
CantusVulpis 12
I can't decide if this is is a YDI or a FYL. Well you could have asked a friend or family member for a dollar...
midoriMentality 11
should have taken money for a new tooth brush from your roommate instead of stealing from the store.
Matty1188 6
At least they'll feed you in jail, OP. They might even give you a toothbrush.
wolverine47 10
Andddddd you have an iPhone?
lucyricardo 5
tips on shoplifting? wow! grow up and get a job, maybe then you'll learn the value of earning money. entitlement is so frustrating.
suri23 11
Shoulda walked into a dentist's office and asked for a sample.