Today, I got caught trying to steal my own cat back from my neighbor. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I found my lost cat. As I was hooking it up to a leash to get it in my car, a man approached and asked what I was doing. His kids alerted him that there was a woman stealing their cat from their front lawn. It was not my cat. FML
Today, I witnessed my psycho neighbor put her cat in a cage, cross into my backyard, and set the cage down before returning to her house. She then called the cops and claimed I'd stolen her cat. The cops didn't believe my side of the story for a second. FML
Today, I ran over my neighbors' cat. I didn't want it to look like I killed it, so I put it under my other neighbor's car so it would look like they ran over it. The cat's owners were watching me. FML
Today, my cat somehow managed to lock me out of my apartment by jumping on the doorknob while I was taking the trash out. I had to call a locksmith, and now it's like my cat won't even come near at me, like I betrayed him for allowing a stranger into our home. FML
Today, I caught and kicked a shoplifter out of my store. The shoplifter was my mom. FML
Today, my elderly neighbor called the police because my cat was in her yard. I now have a citation and a court date. Apparently, there is a leash law for cats in my town, and it is taken very seriously. FML
Today, my dog ran away. Luckily my neighbors caught him before he got too far. Now they won't give him back because they think I did something to him to make him want to run away. FML
Today, I found out that my cat, that I've had for 3 years, is actually my neighbor's missing cat. FML
Today, my "friend" came over. I caught him trying to steal my iPod on the way out. Proud of myself for catching him, I asked him to leave, only to realize that I had forgotten to actually take the iPod back from him before he left. FML
Today, my cat brought me a “gift” by dragging in a sock from my neighbor’s porch. It was a child's sock. I took it back to them, but I'm pretty sure the neighbor now thinks I steal clothes. FML
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Top comments
Nikki_ASW 0
If it's your cat how is it stealing?
Jvr91 8
Shit got real
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Comments (149)
Jvr91 8
Shit got real
shelbygordon44 7
Why the hell does your neighbor have your cat in the first place....?
andy_l 14
There's no crazy cat lady in your neighborhood?
zakkyzebra 11
Um. I don't think 1 has even stated that his neighbor has his cat?
andy_l 14
17, I was talking to the OP.
Iamnotmyself 17
This was a Catrastophy.
elizabeth9m 4
At least you didn't get caught stealing from your girlfriend's house ?
zakkyzebra 11
21, in what way is my comment directed to you?
cyns0_oaSailor 0
21, I think 17 was referring to 13s comment
milakitty21 0
sounds to me the cat found greener pastures and op got jealous. so s/he tried to force kitty to return. be a better pet owner op and kitty won't go into a self imposed exhile.
andy_l 14
30, it was directly below my comment.
shovels 0
I know this one guy that gave his girlfriend his kidney and she left him right after that. Talk about stealing...
milakitty21 0
-h
PutItIn 8
Share that pussy.
shelbygordon44 7
My comment was directed to the OP, smart one. Learn to read and comprehend my friend.
CareFace 16
46, why must you be a comment *****? Your comment had no relevance to the original comment posted. Derp.
raphanne_fml 33
Then why do you press the reply button under #1's comment? What #17 was trying to point out is that you just did so your comment shows on top of the thread...
shelbygordon44 7
Thumb this down por favor. - or remove it (mod) I didn't mean to comment.
TheFakeFamilyGuy 10
OPs' "neighbor" was really his new girlfriend and the "cat" was really her jewelry
SageAnonymous 6
This takes the saying 'crazy cat lady' to a whole new level. Even if your neighbors a guy.
dyble95 0
Life got serous Oh so delirous You smoke some Cush Then you life's so lush But then you notice your cat Your cat! You take your bat Your bat! That's not your cat It's a rat But you got your bat So you swing at the rat Fyl...
yamatelle 19
Well my neighbor stole my pussy once. For revenge, I went and stole his ****. That didn't turn out so well for me because this **** wakes me up every morning with a hard wood. I miss her. Unlike this ****, the worst it could do was wet my bed.
demoon_fml 7
Shit just got real guys
feistylovee 4
Awwh poor kitty. Must be confused having to go back to a place where s/he ran away from
Jennyboo5797 4
Stealing another persons pussy?? You should both be ashamed! Tsk Tsk...
ScaughtieHolden 11
36- Or maybe the neighbor stole it. Dur.
dre_bro11 12
Either way, it's still OP's cat, whether it ran away or got stolen.
ADTRarmyFTW 4
"hey what's in that bag?" *meow* ._. "nothing!"
allanaskye 0
You spelled Kush wrong.
ktateprado 0
Why didnt OP just ask for it back?
ihasbekoala 5
on a scale of Rebecca Black to Beyonce that was Justin Bieber
leadrunner751 3
28- it certainly was a catrastophy... whatever that means
ohrlynao 0
Oh my, that sounds horrible, OP. You've gotta be kitten me!
proudmom2011 0
That sucks
kings1fan 6
This reminds me of the episode of Spongebob when Patrick and Spongebob fight over Gary!
ktateprado 0
Damn it that was a good episode. ^
daysgoby902 6
um okay?
commietaco 0
fer realz, bruh? bruhnana, brahmagranite, brotato, brah brah black sheep, brohamed Ali, brohatma ghandi....want any more?
Nikki_ASW 0
If it's your cat how is it stealing?
annasworld 3
today, my neighbor stole his own cat from me. fml
Babalu722 3
i guess he really wanted a pussy
Mipz 2
To note the fact that the neighbor had stolen it first. Duh.
ktateprado 0
Never take another mans pussy.
tygerarmy 35
OP needs to stop being a pussy and just take back the cat.
babybrunette128 8
Should have hired a ninja !
free2speak 14
how is it stealing if you own it?
OhbbyCx 6
Said neighbor really enjoys pussy. Cats.
ktateprado 0
^ oh that's what you meant? Well damn I thought you were talking about something else. Stupid me.
sskarma23 9
I was gonna say that but why did you have to "steal" it back?
logkitty 5
own? a cat? never!
Brool_Story_Co 17
You could have asked for it back instead of trying to steal it back
zakkyzebra 11
They have most likely already tried that.
Brool_Story_Co 17
You don't know that, op may have resorted to stealing the cat back before talking to their neighbor, one of my friends was arrested because he was too stupid to talk to the guy who stole his phone, he just stole it back
numbers878 8
Hey can I have my cat back? You know the one you stole...
Sniff_N_Tickle 4
Why the hell would he have to ask for his OWN cat back... He should be able to just take it back
NeatNit 33
25, while I agree that the cat may have wandered to the neighbour on his own and simply asking for it back might have worked, what the hell do you think would happen if your friend asked for his phone back? The guy who stole it is a thief, no way talking to him would accomplish anything.
Brool_Story_Co 17
He still got arrested
preetaleet 9
Why does your neighbor have your cat and why must you steal it?
chocomilk82 0
ugh too many questions..
fahquad 4
Awkward more than FML unless your neighbor thinks the cat belongs to them
CAbullet_Caitlin 0
I hate it when that happens.
bn326160 13
I hate it when my HIV test is positive
Llamassss 21
I hate it when my drug test is positive
TheFakeFamilyGuy 10
55-Why did you not tell me this last night?
lerouxmaster 7
I hate it when combo breakers come into play.
JenDanielle917 13
He just wants to keep his new pussy.