Today, I got caught shoplifting a toothbrush. I'm flat broke and my roommate used my old one to scrub out her cat's puke stains off the carpet. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my financial situation is so dire that I tried to steal toilet paper from work. I got caught. FML
Today, I found out my roommate had mistaken my toothbrush for his dog's. So for the last month he's been using my toothbrush on his dog. The dog's favorite meal? Fresh cat poop. FML
Today, I found out that my old roommate used to clean her goldfish bowl with my toothbrush. We lived together for six months. FML
Today, I was moving out of my old place. While walking around to make sure I would get my damage deposit back, I stepped on my roommate's lipstick and smeared it all over the white carpet. Then I tripped on the phone cord and ripped the whole thing out of the wall. FML
Today, after our old roommate left because he was too dirty for us to live with anymore, we found out that our new roommate has "borrowed" our shampoo, towel, toilet paper, liquor, without replacing them. I wish we still only had to clean up. FML
Today, I told my boss I need a scrub brush to properly clean the stairs at my workplace. She gave me an old toothbrush. FML
Today, I got caught trying to steal my own cat back from my neighbor. FML
Today, my roommate finally cleaned her cat's very full litter box. I later found our only good spatula crusted with kitty feces, which she'd left on the kitchen counter for me to find. FML
Today, after a fight, I caught my sister rubbing my toothbrush on the inside of our grimy toilet. This is why I have trust issues. FML
Today, I found out that my little brother has been rubbing my toothbrush in dog shit for the last month because I accidentally broke one of his toys. FML
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Top comments
perdix 31
They'll give you a free toothbrush in jail ;) Make a shiv out of it and cut your roommate when you get out.
Sinamoi 18
Unless you're Aladdin, then it's badass.
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Comments (93)
worldclassrager 41
people don't know how to shoplift correctly but it does serve you right..
YooEfO 4
You could of always walked around asking people if they had some change to spare till you have enough.
touchesthelight 8
When your roommate does something like this, return the favor by using his toothbrush to scrub the toilet. That should get the point across that casually using something without asking will be met with consequences...
sammyluvspugs 4
Nobody is going to feel bad for you because your poor. That's not an excuse. Stealing is stealing and it's not like they will bend the rules for u.
lucyricardo 5
very true. if being broke were a reason to steal then who would really want money? life would be pretty convenient if you could just take what you needed/wanted because you were poor.
Taurus_ChicKa 37
I don't care what the excuse is or how much you try to justify it; you DON'T steal things! That's something you should have learned in kindergarten. I realize it's just a little toothbrush and it's horribly disgusting that your roommate used yours for such a nasty purpose, but the proper thing to do would have been to confront your roommate and make him/her buy you a new toothbrush. If they refused, well, maybe you should balance your money more. I can't imagine anyone, even someone without a job, being so broke they couldn't afford a $1 toothbrush at the dollar store. And yes, they do have them; I worked at Dollar General for a year and I know they exist. So YDI for shoplifting when there are better, legal options.
BedIntruder 4
You must be from Edmonton.
samsusan 1
You can buy toothbrushes for a dollar....
ItsThisGirl 17
just tell that jerk they owe you a new one!!!!!! geez!
sabrinamarie3 15
Funny but sad :/
emo666_ 0
You should have taken her money to buy it, because she basically owes you.