Today, I got caught shoplifting a toothbrush. I'm flat broke and my roommate used my old one to scrub out her cat's puke stains off the carpet. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my financial situation is so dire that I tried to steal toilet paper from work. I got caught. FML
Today, I found out my roommate had mistaken my toothbrush for his dog's. So for the last month he's been using my toothbrush on his dog. The dog's favorite meal? Fresh cat poop. FML
Today, I found out that my old roommate used to clean her goldfish bowl with my toothbrush. We lived together for six months. FML
Today, I was moving out of my old place. While walking around to make sure I would get my damage deposit back, I stepped on my roommate's lipstick and smeared it all over the white carpet. Then I tripped on the phone cord and ripped the whole thing out of the wall. FML
Today, after our old roommate left because he was too dirty for us to live with anymore, we found out that our new roommate has "borrowed" our shampoo, towel, toilet paper, liquor, without replacing them. I wish we still only had to clean up. FML
Today, I told my boss I need a scrub brush to properly clean the stairs at my workplace. She gave me an old toothbrush. FML
Today, I got caught trying to steal my own cat back from my neighbor. FML
Today, my roommate finally cleaned her cat's very full litter box. I later found our only good spatula crusted with kitty feces, which she'd left on the kitchen counter for me to find. FML
Today, after a fight, I caught my sister rubbing my toothbrush on the inside of our grimy toilet. This is why I have trust issues. FML
Today, I found out that my little brother has been rubbing my toothbrush in dog shit for the last month because I accidentally broke one of his toys. FML
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Top comments
perdix 31
They'll give you a free toothbrush in jail ;) Make a shiv out of it and cut your roommate when you get out.
Sinamoi 18
Unless you're Aladdin, then it's badass.
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Comments (93)
hiandrews69 29
Use said roommate's toothbrush to clean the toilet bowl. After you take a massive shit.
Pigeon89 34
Study dentistry like I did- then companies will give you electric ones for free :) You'll end up in loads of debt and with no job coz Britain's messed up it's system but I'll always have free toothbrushes :)
hiholls 13
How on earth do they deserve this? I'm currently broke enough to pay strictly for gas, rent, food and occasional clothing unfortunately required for my job. If someone destroyed my toothbrush like that and I had the choice of waiting two weeks for a paycheck with unclean teeth while at work and stealing a $2 brand new one, I'd steal for sure. Yes stealing IS wrong and people suffer from it but no ones losing their job over one toothbrush whereas this OP easily could have lost their job for poor hygiene!
ramboman19 8
Too broke for a toothbrush, but not for a device to post on FML??
Shayyyy1111 2
Should have gone to a dentist office and got one for free
hurley12 30
YDI stealing is never okay
feitan98 13
You deserve it for getting caught it's a toothbrush for ***** sake how hard can it be to steal hell I've stolen ******* $150 headphones and over 56 games/movies I've stolen ******* game systems and controllers it's not hard at all.
memestasquaper 10
Lel u is noob
KrystalKruspe 4
18312 people deserve to be forced to live in poverty for a year.
midnight1890 17
For a toothbrush? I think that's a pretty good excuse if you can't afford a toothbrush you probably can't afford a lawyer let's be real.