Today, I got a cramp while swimming. It took the lifeguard 5 minutes to stop flirting with a girl before trying to help me. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I got a really bad cramp while I was swimming in my neighborhood pool. I started to go under until the lifeguard jumped in and saved me. I guess it would have been great, if I wasn't a fellow lifeguard. FML
Today, at the beach, I swam pretty far out into the ocean. I ended up getting pummelled by the waves and got a painful cramp in my leg. The whole beach watched me flail and scream, while my friends rolled their eyes as they dragged me out of the water. FML
Today, I was swimming at the water park, when out of nowhere a lifeguard bombed into the pool, grabbed me, and hauled me to the surface, running his hands over my chest in the process. Apparently, the way I swim makes it look like I'm in my drowning death throes. FML
Today, I was at the pool, casually flirting with one of the lifeguards. He said that he would gladly give me CPR, in the event that I needed it. I laughed and thanked him, stating that it was a sweet idea, even though I wouldn't be needing assistance. I then choked on my bottled water. FML
Today, I was lifeguarding at a community pool when I noticed a toddler go underwater. I quickly jumped in but suddenly got a cramp, which caused me to stall. When I looked up, I saw an old woman saving him, and got a shoe thrown at my head. I was fired. FML
Today, I was in swimming practice at the pool. I suddenly got breathless, dizzy, and felt like I was drowning. I cried out to the instructor, telling him I had a weak heart. He shouted back, "I don't care about your love life! Swim, bitch!" FML
Today, I decided to get back in shape so I went swimming. I only managed 10 lengths and was completely out of breath. I was so embarrassed that when a lifeguard asked me if I was OK, I made up a story about a leg injury as a reason to leave only 15 minutes after I got in. FML
Today, I went to the university pool. There was this cute lifeguard there, and every time I got out of the water I saw her looking at me, so I walked up to her and asked if everything was OK. She told me she thought I was going to drown. FML
Today, in my lifeguarding course, I had to pull a 200-pound boy out of the pool in an exercise to practice using our legs when lifting. I, being only 90 pounds, tried pulling and ended up falling into the pool, landing with my lady parts on his face. FML
Today, after jumping into a public swimming pool, the female lifeguard, who I have had a crush on for years whistled at me. When I got out of the water, she handed me the bathing suit I'd apparently lost. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
BigBoyBounce 5
The only thing i could thonk of when i read this was Patrick Star.
saintsrocksocks 10
Lol AHHHH BUT CRAMP. -Patrick Star
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (171)
Guitar360 4
I hope the lifeguard gets canned before he lets someone drown...
Aniki_Sohma 20
Toughen up, it's just a cramp...
luna2495 0
I think he just earned the lifeguard of the year award!!!!!! Hooray for him!!!!!!(hint the sarcasm)
SoultheWolf 19
I really hope he gets fired. And for peope saying "it's only a cramp suck it up", getting a cramp while swimming is extremely painful and at many times prevents you from getting out fo the water, and yes in some cases can cause drowning.
ellenmsch 0
That is terrible, Im so sorry that had to happen to you! I am about to become a cetrified lifeguard, and the most important parts of our job are to never become distracted while on patron-surveillance while on duty, and to of course always help a swimmer in distress, because thy could become unable to co tinue swimming and become an active drowning victim! It is just sick that someone that unprofessional actually has a job! I would totally report him!!!
hi_its_katie 2
when I swam competitively the whole team would get cramps, we swam through it. man up
koolkat27 13
That's great but I don't think OP is a competitive swimmer.
soccachicka9 0
Seriously? As a lifeguard its obviously our job to save lives, but if you just have a cramp & can stay afloat for 5 minutes, you're fine. Stop complaining & learn how to swim to the edge.
doodz_fml 5
Thank you! It was driving me nuts that nobody had pointed that out
hateevryone 15
You were ruining his flow.
Glassmaster 0
I've cramped up while swimming before...it really sucks, but I'm pretty sure you wouldn't need a lifeguard to get out of the pool.
funnytruth 0
Nice i like them boobies