Today, I got a really bad cramp while I was swimming in my neighborhood pool. I started to go under until the lifeguard jumped in and saved me. I guess it would have been great, if I wasn't a fellow lifeguard. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I got a cramp while swimming. It took the lifeguard 5 minutes to stop flirting with a girl before trying to help me. FML
Today, I decided to go swimming. I knew my technique would be off because I haven't swam since high school. It was when I made it only halfway across the pool that the lifeguard decided to jump in and save me. I wasn't drowning or struggling. FML
Today, I was at my lifeguarding exam. Everything was going well until I went to 'save' someone and slipped and bellyflopped into the pool. I broke my toe, and the person I was supposed to save ended up saving me instead. FML
Today, while at work I tripped and fell in the pool while moving a waste basket. I nearly drowned and had to be saved. I don't know which is worse the fact that I nearly drowned or the fact that I'm a lifeguard. FML
Today, I was lifeguarding at a community pool when I noticed a toddler go underwater. I quickly jumped in but suddenly got a cramp, which caused me to stall. When I looked up, I saw an old woman saving him, and got a shoe thrown at my head. I was fired. FML
Today, I was swimming at the water park, when out of nowhere a lifeguard bombed into the pool, grabbed me, and hauled me to the surface, running his hands over my chest in the process. Apparently, the way I swim makes it look like I'm in my drowning death throes. FML
Today, I nearly drowned. I was at a wave pool for the first time and stupidly swam out to the deep end. When the waves turned on, I discovered I can't swim in rough water. Despite my yelling, "Help!" and flailing around, the lifeguard paid me no attention. My friend had to save me. FML
Today, I was at work lifeguarding and saw a kid drowning on the far end of the pool. I decided running would be the quickest way to get to her, but as I ran across the pool deck I slipped and hit my head. The kid's mother jumped in to save her child and then called an ambulance for me. FML
Today, we were hanging around the pool with a couple of friends and a crush of mine. Thinking I would be able to impress her with a well-performed dive off the diving board, I went up and attempted my best dive. I slipped as I jumped, hitting my head on the board. I had to be saved by the lifeguard. FML
Today, I went to the pool. When I hit the water the top of my swimsuit came off so I tried to put it on underwater. The lifeguard thought I was drowning and pulled me out in front of everyone. Topless. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
joqez 0
Well, sucks for you and all, but everyone has cramps once in a while, right?
ambowew 7
You don't have to make up a story, it's not fooling anyone. Your attempt at seducing your fellow lifeguard with your damsel in distress is coming along nicely.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (41)
joqez 0
Well, sucks for you and all, but everyone has cramps once in a while, right?
Mustardnight 3
yeah i usually get one after im done porkin your mom
eprieto 0
try being a marine that can't swim
andruha1123 5
you cant swim with only your hands? WTF? lifeguard are you?
Oohgaloof 0
Are u speak da engrsih?
Keffin 0
yeah cramps happen all the time, especially random times, so don't be too embarrassed.
TheRealFamilyGuy 5
I was a towel boy back in the day, but once I sat on the watch chair. one of the proudest days of my life till the life guard came backed and beat me up for using his sunscreen :(
fatgirllovesfml 0
I had cramps while having sex! now that's a real FML!! not life guard shit ;/
brookalyn 7
he is clearly a dog....
karch 0
I'm a lifeguard, and it's not impossible to swim through cramps.
greg84_fml 21
was it a fellow male life guard?
Neonnight 0
Was OP a girl or boy
Jiplo 18
Are you suggesting that OP had a gender swap?
teresa96706 29
don't worry, many of us go thru times like this as well.
roeallen 11
Don't take it too hard, perhaps next time wait an hour after you eat. :P
chimpsndip 0
They dismissed that as a rule for swimming very long ago.
Randuhh_17 4
lol..I remember having to follow that rule... over protective grandma...
fatgirllovesfml 0
what's up with your mouth? were you born that way?:O
imacreeper 3
no, swimming after you eat makes you a badass. OP is badass. ;)
Eggers 2
4: you are freaking adorable!
chickunkey 0
I get cramps in my toes all the time while swimming. they suck, but are easy to swim through.
ambowew 7
You don't have to make up a story, it's not fooling anyone. Your attempt at seducing your fellow lifeguard with your damsel in distress is coming along nicely.
xsoooxkrazyx 0
haha...#5, your comment wins...
regsworld11 2
Don't be too hard on yourself! Everyone goes through times like that!
mercuryburst 0
Not that embarrassing. We all get cramps once in a while. :)
NYC_Yoshi 3
What kind of lifeguard can't swim with a cramp? u fail
MRobvious750 0
I agree with #8, even if you have cramp you still have one good leg and both arms. You can still float so ya you should get a new job.
dreamering 16
8 & 21. I think your brain has a cramp right now.
MRobvious750 0
25- my brain is just fine thank you very much, if OP seriously needs saved because of a cramp then how do you expect OP to save anyone?
sourspraykay 8
Yeah what if OP seriously needs saved?
ChantelRenaeee 0
well he can very much save someone when he DOESN'T have a cramp. it was probably a one time thing.
MRobvious750 0
56- I have a great deal of experience in swimming and don't understand how a cramp can seriously put you in danger of drowning. I have say it sounds like OP is just a bad swimmer.
thefriendlyc 0
i swim 2+ hours a day and even with a cramp you should be able to swim at least to the side of the pool, especially if your job is saving drowning people.
MRobvious750 0
Thank you #59 I swam competitively but still swim a great deal on my own. OP shouldn't be crippled by a cramp and almost drown when they are a lifeguard.
Aoifexzx 3
what kind of human being can swim with a cramp? just cause you're a racoon or whatever that is in your picture?
liindsjayy 0
And we
liindsjayy 0
And we know it was a arm or leg cramp cause....? Have you ever had a menstrual cramp that feels like a chain saw ripping threw your pelvic area!? Just saying.
Namaste_fml 2
Because logically thinking, swimming uses those limbs, so those types of cramps would be the MOST disabling and still absolutely no excuse. I have horrible cramps with my period and everywhere else as it comes with the chronic and severe pain that has been my most prominent symptom of my as of yet undiagnosed illness for YEARS. I really know pain and cramps. arm or leg cramp is no excuse anyway, but a period cramp is even less of one because if you can't push past that pain threshold, it's REALLY dangerous to be in that sort of line of work, because your inability to perform despite being in pain endangers other people's lives. pain is crippling, sure, I know that firsthand... but bottom line you CAN actually do things despite being in pain, some people just WON'T. It's fair enough because it's miserable until it gets to this point because then it's dangerous, and the OP has to tale responsibility for that. I think the whole thing about cramps in particular is that they are muscle contractions... they can render limbs unable to be properly used for a short period of time so if it was that then it'd be more than just being paralyzed by pain as it would change how they may have to swim. with a period cramp it would be so. but then, like they said, there is no reason this person shouldn't have been able to swim anyway, being a lifeguard and all. my body just hates me and so not all of it works well all the time anyway, it's oftentimes a lot more than just cramps, but while by this point in my illness I've been disabled in pretty much every other area swimming has never been an issue for me and I wasn't even that strong a swimmer before. it really shouldn't be nearly as hard as the OP thinks it is to swim with ANY type of cramp, really, because I've done those types of things a lot myself and while more difficult than normal swimming, it's nothing that should be able to drown a damn lifeguard. that's ridiculous.
ChantelRenaeee 0
because, 56, if the cramp is in his leg, then it can sometimes be very painful and hard to move.
poopydutchman 2
61- I've swam for 9 years competitively and during kick sets when both your legs lock up it can be tough to swim to the wall. being a swimmer yourself you probably know it's really painful. my guess is that op isn't a good swimmer, life guards don't have to be able to swim 500 yards in under 5 minutes, so my guess is that a low level swimmer cramping bad would absolutely **** them
amberrox55 0
cramps dont have to be your leg.. i have had cramps in my stomach and i had to float till it went away
egamage 0
have to agree with #8... even if you have a cramp you should be able to swim
dreamering 16
Just pray to God that it doesn't happen to you in the sea or ocean. For more comments please read a post above.
dreamering 16
Finally a good lifeguard who doesn't fall on the top of children
hellogoodbye1996 6
ha from the other post.
mrahhhhh 21
I hate when that happens. Try getting cramps on both feet... while in the middle of a deep pool... while being me. I never really learned how to dive, so I never made it past intermediate child's swimming. At least you didn't get caught in a riptide like I did. I didn't know you were supposed to swim parallel to shore and then swim in, so I stupidly swam hard toward the beach, and about was washed out farther to sea. Eventually, I beat the tide and reached shore, tired and dazed. Then my friends threw sand at my eyes because apparently they were having a sand fight and thought I was just doing some normal swimming till then. I almost died that day... This was put up to put OP's FML in perspective. Coulda been a lot worse...
dreamering 16
Jesus, I can read "War and Peace" three times before I'll be able to read your whole comment.
EpicPear 0
My friend died a couple of days ago because of a riptide. :( You all are so lucky.
mrahhhhh 21
I'm so sorry to hear that, #30. May s/he rest in peace.
MRobvious750 0
I tried to say Sorry earlier but hit the wrong comment. Anyway my apologies for your loss #30
melkell 0
Did you know "War and Peace" was originally titled "War: what is it good for?"
betty66 3
hahahaa love seinfeld
teague95 16
#12 how do you get caught in a riptide in the middle of a pool?
NightmareStalker 0
they didnt say it was in a pool...