Today, I was at the pool, casually flirting with one of the lifeguards. He said that he would gladly give me CPR, in the event that I needed it. I laughed and thanked him, stating that it was a sweet idea, even though I wouldn't be needing assistance. I then choked on my bottled water. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went to the university pool. There was this cute lifeguard there, and every time I got out of the water I saw her looking at me, so I walked up to her and asked if everything was OK. She told me she thought I was going to drown. FML
Today, I was swimming at the water park, when out of nowhere a lifeguard bombed into the pool, grabbed me, and hauled me to the surface, running his hands over my chest in the process. Apparently, the way I swim makes it look like I'm in my drowning death throes. FML
Today, on my first day as a lifeguard, a man had a heart attack in the pool. I jumped in, pulled him out, and even went to the hospital with him. He seemed genuinely offended, saying "You should've let me die." FML
Today, I was drinking a bottle of water. My friend came up from behind and scared me, causing me to inhale and choke on the water. Lacking air, I passed out. I awoke to him on the ground laughing his ass off. I almost drowned drinking a bottle of water. FML
Today, I was in swimming practice at the pool. I suddenly got breathless, dizzy, and felt like I was drowning. I cried out to the instructor, telling him I had a weak heart. He shouted back, "I don't care about your love life! Swim, bitch!" FML
Today, we were hanging around the pool with a couple of friends and a crush of mine. Thinking I would be able to impress her with a well-performed dive off the diving board, I went up and attempted my best dive. I slipped as I jumped, hitting my head on the board. I had to be saved by the lifeguard. FML
Today, it's April Fool's day. I had to take a CPR class, and everything was going well. We took a break and I went to get a drink of water and started choking. They thought I was making fun of the class, and made me leave. FML
Today, I decided to go swimming. I knew my technique would be off because I haven't swam since high school. It was when I made it only halfway across the pool that the lifeguard decided to jump in and save me. I wasn't drowning or struggling. FML
Today, I went to the pool. When I hit the water the top of my swimsuit came off so I tried to put it on underwater. The lifeguard thought I was drowning and pulled me out in front of everyone. Topless. FML
Today, I got a really bad cramp while I was swimming in my neighborhood pool. I started to go under until the lifeguard jumped in and saved me. I guess it would have been great, if I wasn't a fellow lifeguard. FML
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Top comments
Heartless234 0
Aw that's embarrassing. Hey sometimes I choke on my saliva :D.
mannix_fml 0
It was mean't to be, dum dum!
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Comments (114)
JStromberg 0
lol
sublime93 0
******* boring.
UrbanerMezei 0
Hurray for ***** from California.
lmmmr 0
What makes her a ****?
CFR 0
yes #34, enlighten us as to why the OP is a ****.
HahaYDI 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
YDI for being black
SirAwesome 0
agree with 29. Once again, FML needs a 3rd option - "who cares?"
xjordanxjadedx 0
i effing hate the word 'cutely.' it is not in ANY WAY cute. at all. -.- how is this even an FML? maybe you're get that CPR after all, yeah?
xjordanxjadedx 0
*you'll. and YDI.
generalsmith2 0
nobody said cutely but you.
winemysavior 4
hurray
hellokittywhore 0
yeah #34 why the **** does that make her a ****?? not all girls from Cali are *****..... please ignore my screen name.
funshit123 0
@105 u r a ***** that i cant ignore
carlomanden 5
105 - win!! :D
Icecream93 4
@56 Please read the fml again?
epople 5
Gaha
teentee401 37
Where does it say cutely? She said "casually" and that's it
mohomonopoly 0
poor girl. i hope he was cute
doggylover27 0
I'm sorry, I just don't get it. Why is this an FML? Nothing bad happened. Like, a cute lifeguard told you he'd give you CPR, that's awesome! Then, you choke.. oooh what's so bad about htat?
mannix_fml 0
It was mean't to be, dum dum!
Intoxicunt 6
Maybe he made you do that with his telekinetic powers. But I really don't think you'd need CPR for inhaling a small amount of water. And I take it it was a small amount because you can't hold that much in your mouth at once. Probably not even enough to pass out from. Just cough and maybe puke for a while, and you're fine.
murderofcrows 0
LOL! That's funny. Haha
13thQueen 0
Hahahahahaha. This is funny.
Vapourstreak 0
LOL!
Heartless234 0
Aw that's embarrassing. Hey sometimes I choke on my saliva :D.
girandwogpig 0
How in the hell is that possible #10?
CanadianMuse 0
if #10 or OP swallows the water & it goes down the wrong hole it's very possible ...
muffinlovexD 12
Thanks for the little bit of information, #10
brrrx 0
At least you weren't "casually trying to bump into him."
Everlost 0
this belongs to mylifeisaverage.com