Today, I got a cramp while swimming. It took the lifeguard 5 minutes to stop flirting with a girl before trying to help me. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I got a really bad cramp while I was swimming in my neighborhood pool. I started to go under until the lifeguard jumped in and saved me. I guess it would have been great, if I wasn't a fellow lifeguard. FML
Today, at the beach, I swam pretty far out into the ocean. I ended up getting pummelled by the waves and got a painful cramp in my leg. The whole beach watched me flail and scream, while my friends rolled their eyes as they dragged me out of the water. FML
Today, I was swimming at the water park, when out of nowhere a lifeguard bombed into the pool, grabbed me, and hauled me to the surface, running his hands over my chest in the process. Apparently, the way I swim makes it look like I'm in my drowning death throes. FML
Today, I was at the pool, casually flirting with one of the lifeguards. He said that he would gladly give me CPR, in the event that I needed it. I laughed and thanked him, stating that it was a sweet idea, even though I wouldn't be needing assistance. I then choked on my bottled water. FML
Today, I was lifeguarding at a community pool when I noticed a toddler go underwater. I quickly jumped in but suddenly got a cramp, which caused me to stall. When I looked up, I saw an old woman saving him, and got a shoe thrown at my head. I was fired. FML
Today, I was in swimming practice at the pool. I suddenly got breathless, dizzy, and felt like I was drowning. I cried out to the instructor, telling him I had a weak heart. He shouted back, "I don't care about your love life! Swim, bitch!" FML
Today, I decided to get back in shape so I went swimming. I only managed 10 lengths and was completely out of breath. I was so embarrassed that when a lifeguard asked me if I was OK, I made up a story about a leg injury as a reason to leave only 15 minutes after I got in. FML
Today, I went to the university pool. There was this cute lifeguard there, and every time I got out of the water I saw her looking at me, so I walked up to her and asked if everything was OK. She told me she thought I was going to drown. FML
Today, in my lifeguarding course, I had to pull a 200-pound boy out of the pool in an exercise to practice using our legs when lifting. I, being only 90 pounds, tried pulling and ended up falling into the pool, landing with my lady parts on his face. FML
Today, after jumping into a public swimming pool, the female lifeguard, who I have had a crush on for years whistled at me. When I got out of the water, she handed me the bathing suit I'd apparently lost. FML
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Top comments
BigBoyBounce 5
The only thing i could thonk of when i read this was Patrick Star.
saintsrocksocks 10
Lol AHHHH BUT CRAMP. -Patrick Star
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Comments (171)
Schizomaniac 24
Aw DAMN, 107. She called you skinny ass. You're not just gonna take that, are you?
hqbrat 8
It's called he could have a water proof watch
xXxIracebethxXx 14
115 - Is that your biggest accomplishment? Thumbing me down and telling me shut up? Tsk tsk. *pats head* I'm sure you'll do something just as big, again, eventually. If not, just keep hanging on to mommy's umbilical cord because it is obvious you need guidance, follower freak. Do not hop on my **** just because some other chick decided to do so. Meanwhile, have a treat. *gives biscuit*
alissa222 15
You're the one who needs to calm down 107. Nobody else here is angry.
tvirus019 0
Dude, #90 was saying that the dude was an ass and the chick shouldn't have been interested in someone who doesn't do their job. Get that pole out of your arse and stop being a ****. Jeez...
rhaemese 9
Do you honestly want to fight like a little bitch over the internet? I think your comments, and you yourself, are a worthless waste of space.
McNerdyNerd 8
I never understood this. Cramps hurt and all, but they don't stop you from doing anything, like you know...swimming to the edge of a pool and sitting down.
scarllet13101 5
What would the life guard do??? It's a cramp your not drowning
kimbliee 4
it was only a cramp... not like you were drowning
monkeyhead641 6
Why should he help you with a cramp. Just stretch your legs out straight