Today, I got a cramp while swimming. It took the lifeguard 5 minutes to stop flirting with a girl before trying to help me. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I got a really bad cramp while I was swimming in my neighborhood pool. I started to go under until the lifeguard jumped in and saved me. I guess it would have been great, if I wasn't a fellow lifeguard. FML
Today, at the beach, I swam pretty far out into the ocean. I ended up getting pummelled by the waves and got a painful cramp in my leg. The whole beach watched me flail and scream, while my friends rolled their eyes as they dragged me out of the water. FML
Today, I was swimming at the water park, when out of nowhere a lifeguard bombed into the pool, grabbed me, and hauled me to the surface, running his hands over my chest in the process. Apparently, the way I swim makes it look like I'm in my drowning death throes. FML
Today, I was at the pool, casually flirting with one of the lifeguards. He said that he would gladly give me CPR, in the event that I needed it. I laughed and thanked him, stating that it was a sweet idea, even though I wouldn't be needing assistance. I then choked on my bottled water. FML
Today, I was lifeguarding at a community pool when I noticed a toddler go underwater. I quickly jumped in but suddenly got a cramp, which caused me to stall. When I looked up, I saw an old woman saving him, and got a shoe thrown at my head. I was fired. FML
Today, I was in swimming practice at the pool. I suddenly got breathless, dizzy, and felt like I was drowning. I cried out to the instructor, telling him I had a weak heart. He shouted back, "I don't care about your love life! Swim, bitch!" FML
Today, I decided to get back in shape so I went swimming. I only managed 10 lengths and was completely out of breath. I was so embarrassed that when a lifeguard asked me if I was OK, I made up a story about a leg injury as a reason to leave only 15 minutes after I got in. FML
Today, I went to the university pool. There was this cute lifeguard there, and every time I got out of the water I saw her looking at me, so I walked up to her and asked if everything was OK. She told me she thought I was going to drown. FML
Today, in my lifeguarding course, I had to pull a 200-pound boy out of the pool in an exercise to practice using our legs when lifting. I, being only 90 pounds, tried pulling and ended up falling into the pool, landing with my lady parts on his face. FML
Today, after jumping into a public swimming pool, the female lifeguard, who I have had a crush on for years whistled at me. When I got out of the water, she handed me the bathing suit I'd apparently lost. FML
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Top comments
BigBoyBounce 5
The only thing i could thonk of when i read this was Patrick Star.
saintsrocksocks 10
Lol AHHHH BUT CRAMP. -Patrick Star
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Comments (171)
cheetahbaby96 8
102- You are one hell of a cranky bitch today, aren't you? You've posted about 5 comments on this FML and the one before it, all telling people they are stupid and to shut up. GTFO
xXxIracebethxXx 14
#103 - Not my fault stupid people annoy me. If you don't want to see people bitching over the internet, tough ******* luck. Maybe you should be the one to "GTFO" if you have a problem.
cheetahbaby96 8
106- Oh, I'm sorry, did I offend you? Or maybe some guy pissed you off, because your comments all include how you don't care about their "male preferences". Side note: no one gives a shit about whether or not their comment annoys you. Grow the **** up.
Schizomaniac 24
Awww snap. You gonna take that, 106? She straight got all up in your face.
meekthekit 6
Heh, moderated this one:) this lifeguard sucks. He should be fired...
i_love_pandas_ 0
Report him that's what I would do
xXxIracebethxXx 14
107 - With a name like cheetahbaby, I honestly cannot take you seriously. Do not get so worked up, babe. No, males do not piss me off, actually, but the comments I have seen from Safaeita are about HER male preferences, such as her not liking a guy shaving their legs (even though it was just for a party) or flirting rather than doing his job (who cares, she was not the one drowing, unless she knows the guy personally, but even then, announcing it to the FML community is unnecessary). It is like, "okay, honey, no one gives a flying **** because it is FML, not eHarmony." Maybe you should get off your high horse, sit your SoCal skinny-ass down, take some deep breaths, and calm the **** down. For a comment ON THE INTERENT, you sure seemed ticked off. You do not know me, you do not know Safaeita, so you should "grow the **** up" and realize that I do not give a shit if you are all up on my **** for something that offended YOU, not me.
snafu63 0
lifeguards are supposed to let unattractive people drown, helps pretty up the human race. Didn't you know that?
Darwin03 1
You need a life guard for a cramp... Wow, you are a wimp. You need to get up and swim more often.
rhaemese 9
No one thumbed down 112's comment, so I took the liberty to do so. Oh and 112, shut the **** up please