Today, I got a call from my 8 year-old son's teacher. Apparently, my kid has been charging girls a quarter to touch his "special area." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my son had to call me from his school's principal's office because he was disrupting his health class by laughing whenever the teacher said "Sex". My son is 16. FML
Today, I overheard my 11-year-old son giving my 8-year-old daughter the sex talk. FML
Today, I got to take my 10-year-old son to the junior high school at which I teach. When my students questioned him about what I was like at home, he told the entire class: "Well, she farts all the time." FML
Today, I just got done being yelled at by my son's headteacher and a bunch of parents, all because my 6 year-old son has been arranging kiss dates between his classmates in exchange for sweets and so on. My little pimp in training. Not a proud dad moment. FML
Today, I got a call saying that my son was chasing all the girls in the class with his "Sword of Death", otherwise known as my dildo. FML
Today, I got called into the principal's office of my son's school. Why? He'd called his teacher a "fudge packer". No more weekends with his uncle. FML
Today, I found out from her teacher that my daughter in kindergarten gets the little boys in her class to play grown-ups with her. It's basically dry humping and groaning. FML
Today, my 4 year old son groped my breasts and said, "This is what daddy told me to do." FML
Today, my 4-year-old son's daycare called because he kissed a few girls. They explained he can't walk up and kiss little girls. I thought the situation was under control, until I was called an hour later to remove him from the premises for kissing little boys. FML
Today, my 10-year-old son told me that sometimes he wishes that he could be a girl, so that he could masturbate more easily in public. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
splice520 4
future pimp
enonymous 9
So did the teacher get a discount?
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (455)
joker305 6
Lmao
Hookemhornz14 0
hhaahahha thats freaking awesome
nicolangelo 5
thas wassup
mrhigh007 0
wow, call him a pimp named slickback!
pikagirl222 1
ur kid rocks
joker305 6
Lol
GetPuckedUp 3
this is why kids should not be on the internet.
johnnythreetears 2
oh quit your bitchin, the Internet isn't an 8 year olds only media exposure to sex. why not just shelter him and turn him into the 40 year old virgin, eh? isn't that what you want?
anonymous595 0
that luky smart basterd!! haha il do it tomorow except can do a bit morw
kendallwendall 0
freaking hilarious! haha he's gonna go far in life. start em young!
awardZu 0
On the surface, this is freakin funny as hell, but I can't get over the extreme probability that this is learned behavior. Who paid him a quarter to touch his junk at home? Call the cops OP, before CPS comes and takes your kid (which shouldn't take long after this).