Today, I got a call from my 8 year-old son's teacher. Apparently, my kid has been charging girls a quarter to touch his "special area." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my son had to call me from his school's principal's office because he was disrupting his health class by laughing whenever the teacher said "Sex". My son is 16. FML
Today, I overheard my 11-year-old son giving my 8-year-old daughter the sex talk. FML
Today, I got to take my 10-year-old son to the junior high school at which I teach. When my students questioned him about what I was like at home, he told the entire class: "Well, she farts all the time." FML
Today, I just got done being yelled at by my son's headteacher and a bunch of parents, all because my 6 year-old son has been arranging kiss dates between his classmates in exchange for sweets and so on. My little pimp in training. Not a proud dad moment. FML
Today, I got a call saying that my son was chasing all the girls in the class with his "Sword of Death", otherwise known as my dildo. FML
Today, I got called into the principal's office of my son's school. Why? He'd called his teacher a "fudge packer". No more weekends with his uncle. FML
Today, I found out from her teacher that my daughter in kindergarten gets the little boys in her class to play grown-ups with her. It's basically dry humping and groaning. FML
Today, my 4 year old son groped my breasts and said, "This is what daddy told me to do." FML
Today, my 4-year-old son's daycare called because he kissed a few girls. They explained he can't walk up and kiss little girls. I thought the situation was under control, until I was called an hour later to remove him from the premises for kissing little boys. FML
Today, my 10-year-old son told me that sometimes he wishes that he could be a girl, so that he could masturbate more easily in public. FML
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Top comments
splice520 4
future pimp
enonymous 9
So did the teacher get a discount?
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Comments (455)
rburke42016 0
so awesome!! not for you obviously but for us reading haha
1beto3 0
haha man so early they start
summa 0
are you people retarded, I have a younger sister that age!!! that's just sick!!!
awmy 2
lmao ur son's a little player haha :D
jk9037 0
This kid is going places .
kingjames2306 0
yeah most likly prison someday
sjch 0
This is not funny, and people who are praising your son are disgusting. What if he were a little girl and she was charging boys to let them touch her? Everyone's reactions would have been completely different. I really hope you are doing something to stop this kind of behavior.
awardZu 0
Exactly! I have two daughters, and if I found out that this kind of crap was going on around either of them, I would be extremely pissed! If they ever tried that crap, I'd home school their asses and find out who the hell taught them that shit, then file every charge that I could against them!
Casey777 0
your an idiot so what if it were a girl you tard
kingjames2306 0
171 you are right people that dont have kids dont understand i have a daughter but shes still very little so i got a few yrs till shes in school i will flip big time if this were to go on in her grade or school
kayvan 8
That's an enterprising young man!
selfgratman 0
this kid is legit
lmw562 3
awwww you raised a little stud!
thecovert 7
Future president!!
zanysage 0
Errrr. Canadians don't have a President