Today, I got a call from my 8 year-old son's teacher. Apparently, my kid has been charging girls a quarter to touch his "special area." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my son had to call me from his school's principal's office because he was disrupting his health class by laughing whenever the teacher said "Sex". My son is 16. FML
Today, I overheard my 11-year-old son giving my 8-year-old daughter the sex talk. FML
Today, I got to take my 10-year-old son to the junior high school at which I teach. When my students questioned him about what I was like at home, he told the entire class: "Well, she farts all the time." FML
Today, I just got done being yelled at by my son's headteacher and a bunch of parents, all because my 6 year-old son has been arranging kiss dates between his classmates in exchange for sweets and so on. My little pimp in training. Not a proud dad moment. FML
Today, I got a call saying that my son was chasing all the girls in the class with his "Sword of Death", otherwise known as my dildo. FML
Today, I got called into the principal's office of my son's school. Why? He'd called his teacher a "fudge packer". No more weekends with his uncle. FML
Today, I found out from her teacher that my daughter in kindergarten gets the little boys in her class to play grown-ups with her. It's basically dry humping and groaning. FML
Today, my 4 year old son groped my breasts and said, "This is what daddy told me to do." FML
Today, my 4-year-old son's daycare called because he kissed a few girls. They explained he can't walk up and kiss little girls. I thought the situation was under control, until I was called an hour later to remove him from the premises for kissing little boys. FML
Today, my 10-year-old son told me that sometimes he wishes that he could be a girl, so that he could masturbate more easily in public. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
splice520 4
future pimp
enonymous 9
So did the teacher get a discount?
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (455)
Doortje 30
I wanted to say smart kid, but I think he could've easily charged them $1.
TheNewGuy03 29
i actually think that the kid took the viewers' budgets into consideration when he did this, which makes the idea even more ingenious. |the kid|
1234USMC 0
I wanna grow up to be like your son!
mismonroe 0
Don't we all?
1234USMC 0
I'd sure hope so. lol
klonopin_ftw 0
no one cares about your probably fake husband. sit back and quit trying to show off
pimpinpimp 2
NICE!
cookies61889 15
he's def winning i think your kid is taking charlie sheens place in a few years
skateking133 0
Ahhh I was gonna make a comment like this but ya beat me. Sheen FTW! :)
killedmyteacher 0
as an Hollywood undead???????
kkalia3 0
hey, u shud be proud on dis....... i got respect for him
mismonroe 0
PURE BRILLIANCE! Has he made much? I might try this idea on for size. ... though I think that's prostitution?
zourwolfe 0
obviously?
mismonroe 0
Sarcasm's a BITCH.
BottuhlRockit 0
**** yea it is. ;D
swgmimi12 3
lol
azrael_xx 14
haha your kid is awesome. though don't you think he isn't charging enough lol
Omgitsaireyonna 6
Hahaha. Win.
Deeblondee 4
Yea it's bugging me about "an" call. Even an adult doesn't know proper English...but funny kid haha