Today, I got a call from a girl I dated long ago, who cheated on me and got pregnant by another guy, or so we thought. Turns out it isn't his, and she is taking me to court for child support. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I found out that my boyfriend of two years has a beautiful daughter. That's cool, except she's one year old. FML
Today, I found my daughter on Facebook after years of looking for her after the divorce. It turns out it was my ex pretending to be my daughter so she could track me down. FML
Today, my best friend told me she was pregnant over the phone. While in the middle of telling her congrats, she told me it was with my boyfriend. FML
Today, I broke up with my girlfriend for another girl. This other girl helped me break up with her so we could date. After it was all done, she promptly rejected me and in front of everyone, saying how much of a douche I was for leaving my girlfriend for another girl. FML
Today, a rumor was spread around that I was dating somebody. I confronted the person who everyone thought I was dating, and asked him about it. He also thought we were dating. FML
Today, my crazy ex-girlfriend legally changed her last name to mine. I'm getting married in a week. FML
Today, I discovered that my ex-girlfriend, who I dated for 6 years, is getting engaged to my friend. The very same "friend" who's been encouraging me to break up with her for the past year. FML
Today, my wife told me she wanted a divorce. She also confessed that she has been cheating on me with my best friend for 10 years. I appreciated the honesty, but was slightly upset considering we have only been married for 9 years. FML
Today, I bailed my soon to be ex-husband out of jail after he'd been arrested for soliciting. Soliciting an undercover cop. FML
Today, I found out the guy that my girlfriend introduced as her brother was actually her boyfriend. I also paid for him to come out with us to the movies several times. FML
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Top comments
AngelLovesDerby 10
Whoa... What a Bi*ch... Get a DNA test homie!!
Vagitarian1 10
Paternity test. Now!!!
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Comments (164)
fantasyworld 39
Maury!
Solano2580 24
Quit telling him to get a DNA test, he said it wasn't the other guys and that it was his, indicating he already got one, dumbasses
StickyPickles 33
I feel sorry for you sir, the child as well as she seems like a fail of a human being.
LostDN 9
DNA test plus argue the fact she was unfaithful so you cut contact it lowers your payout
StormFlake 8
Don't worry bro, they kept it for a long time, so now the LEGAL father is the one who will do the support.