Today, I sliced a deep gash into my thumb while carving up bagels. After putting a plaster on, I returned to my room to relax, where I lit a candle. The flame from my new lighter shot up, and set fire to the plaster on my thumb. Now I have a cut AND several burns. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was refilling my lighter. Afterwards, I gave it a test light. I must've spilled some fluid because my thumb caught on fire. FML
Today, I was cooking and I burned my thumb. I had some first-aid burn spray, so I sprayed it on. I went outside to smoke a cigarette, and when I flicked my lighter, my thumb went up in flames. Turns out that first-aid burn spray is flammable. FML
Today, I was cleaning a pan. I turned the water on, and it was super hot. My reaction was to slam my hand down. On a knife. So, not only do I have a burned hand, but there's also a huge cut on it from the knife. FML
Today, I was washing the dishes when I gave myself a nasty gash on my leg from the open dishwasher door. After five minutes of cleaning up the blood and wrapping it up, I came back to finish the job only to drop a plate and send broken shards into my foot. FML
Today, I burnt my finger making pancakes for my kid. After hopping around and running the blister under cold water, I went back to finish making the pancakes and burned the same finger right on top of the new blister. An hour later it burst and the flesh is a funny colour underneath. FML
Today, I was cutting some paper when I accidentally cut a sizeable chunk out of my finger. I went to my car to get my bumbag (I'm a lifeguard) so I could patch it up. I then promptly got a large piece of glass in my foot. FML
Today, while moving my wax burner away from the window, I spilled hot wax all over my hands, the wall, and in my electric fireplace. FML
Today, I burned my nose. How? I tried sniffing a lit candle. FML
Today, I reached for my lip balm while laying in bed in the dark. I accidentally knocked my bedside lamp, and it fell on my hand and shattered. A huge glass fragment impaled my hand. I just got out of surgery. FML
Today, while cooking, I managed to burn my finger. I quickly turned the tap on and ran my finger under cold water, but apparently someone had just used the hot tap, because boiling water flooded out onto my nicely scalded finger. FML
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Top comments
dspadres 0
We didn't copy your language. You guys brought it with you when you colonized this country. Plaster as we know it is a chemical compound meant to seal holes in walls and such so it can be painted over. I would hope you guys don't put shit like that on your cuts. It can't be good putting whatever the hell is in that stuff in your blood stream.
leyash 0
Because it's a top brand name for covering wounds. That's why.
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Comments (80)
Sun_Kissed18 25
Bad luck I'd say
Ajjas013 6
Also why people have TWO thumbs. I think.
cookiepenguin 0
so u make bagels and live in thestone age. fascinating. ¿how is this an fml?
drummer_dude 0
Ouch D: hope it gets better soon!
Maxine17 8
...I also have gashes and burns on my thumbs too due to my job. ...Fml? No.
Zezing 0
Carving bagels? Plasters? CANDLES? What the **** is going on!?
FernandoTorres_fml 0
Time heals all, except your dignity.
Vert90 11
And your virginity.
starry_eyed 0
Wow lol. That really just sucks.
perdix 31
This would not be a good day to take up juggling chainsaws and bottles of acid.
DefyingGravity 0
Would any day be a good day to take up juggling chainsaws and bottles of acid?
perdix 31
A day that you are showing a bit of dexterity and want to get on "America's Got Talent." How come that show is judged by two Brits and a guy who is a has-been here but an idol in Germany?
arsenalfcboy 6
Cos the original is Britain's got talent :P
perdix 31
That is true. We do steal a lot of game shows from you guys. But we invented Jeopardy, which is the best, so God bless America!
brainfreeze215 0
Did you at least cauterize the wound? Or did absolutely no good come of this?
jw90 18
It's just not your day huh OP. tell you what go back to bed and sleep it off you'll be fine when ya wake up.
AndelleRae 9
Given the luck we've heard about, she'd probably die in her sleep.
_Naboo_ 0
Ouch, I know how that feels. Don't worry, it'll heal.
haneki_fml 0
wah wah! just bad luck, not really fyl, but whatever.. just be more careful..