Today, I gave up smoking. A few hours later, I caught myself daydreaming about brutally killing a guy that gave me a mean look at the bus. Maybe I should go back to smoking. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I decided to quit smoking. During my lunch break, I tried to ash the KitKat bar that was in my hand after I took a bite. FML
Today, I'm going cold turkey with my drinking and smoking habits. I'm so irritable, I seriously considered running down an old lady who was taking her damn sweet time crossing the road, then shooting the guy in the car behind me for honking at me like I was holding everyone up. FML
Today, a week after I quit smoking, I lit up again. Was it stress? Cravings? No. I haven't had a crap since I quit, and can't take this gut ache anymore. FML
Today, I realised why I’m so irritable these days. My former flatmate smoked so many cigarettes that, now he’s moved out and taken the smoke with him, I’m going through nicotine withdrawal. I realised this after I saw cigarettes in a shop and couldn’t stop staring at them. FML
Today, I found I had rolled, and was smoking a cigarette without realising it after proudly entering my third day of being a non-smoker. FML
Today, I gave a man a cigarette. He spent the rest of the day so far following me around, telling me all about his medical history, and chasing after me when I got too far away. I couldn't get rid of him for hours. FML
Today, I decided to quit smoking and put on a nicotine patch. I decided to have one last cigarette and ended up sick at the doctors with nicotine poisoning. FML
Today, as I was smoking a cigarette I realized that it's time to quit. This realization came to me after a particularly violent coughing bout forced not tar out of my lungs, but rather poo out of my bum. FML
Today, after secretly smoking for more than two years, I decided to quit. I came home from work to see my wife holding a pack and asking me what was it doing behind the toilet seat. FML
Today, I finally found a reason to quit smoking. I threw my cigarette butt out the window and it blew back in, went down the back of my pants, and burnt my butt in 3 different places. FML
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Top comments
TacoTheGlorious 6
Stay strong, it'll get better(:
Viciousstorms 7
Congratulations on trying to quit smoking. Although, there's easier alternatives than just stopping such as nicotine and maybe quitting slowly but surely will make you calmer.
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Comments (87)
trucker67 10
Congratulations on quitting - i am a survivor of lung cancer and can tell you that this is a hell you never want to have in your life . Three times through radiation and chemo is something I would never wish on anyone .
starflyer59 17
I'm giving you a virtual hug. I'm so sorry you had to go thru that. Almost every member of my family has had some type of cancer and survived. I'm glad you did too :)
Unbweavable 17
Awesome options: cancer or death row
alycion 39
Yeah but in jail food, shelter and medical care are all provided.
mercsl65 7
I asked some elderly coworkers how they quit smoking because the issue came up, and they all said afer all the years of not smoking the urge never goes away and it sucks everyday. so I decided not to quit. don't be a quitter op
animal50199 10
Wow. Great advice. :/
andiewithlove 21
Cigarette cigarette cigarette. SHAAAARK! SHAAAAARK!
Slender_Man 6
Just use sunflower seeds. Smoking is an oral fixation. If you use sunflower seeds, your smoking habits should decrease. It's a great way to help quit. Or, you could do it the newer way and get some nicorete.
alycion 39
It's not an oral fixation for everyone. It's not for me. I suffer from bipolar and before smoking, I was a cutter. I need a self destructive behavior to punish myself. If not I get the urge to kill myself. That is why quitting for me is so hard. It always triggers a bad depression. Oral fixation or not there is also a chemical dependency. There are a ton of aids in quitting available because everyone is different. I think the key is finding why you smoke and working from it from that angle. Oral fixation sunflower seeds work. Chemical dependency, the nicotine replacements. Mental link like mine, break the link. Whatever the reason, you can't give up trying to quit and you can't beat yourself up over set backs. Just got to keep trying different methods until one works.
kitsune3 20
Don't give up just yet, OP. The first hill is always the hardest to get over. Just keep trying.
hateevryone 15
Don't give in just yet. Keep fighting it. I know it's hard, but it'll all be worth it in the end.
webstalkers 6
Take up shooting at a gun range. It'll make ya feel good. Quoting smoking is the best thing, and the hardest thing, you'll ever do. But worth it!!!
TheDrifter 24
Boxing or a full contact martial art works well too. The act of smoking helps focus and release anger and stress, controlled physical violence works well too. I now teach a non lethal combat class for bouncers and security staff and it does wonders at killing the cravings.
PhishloverA 14
YDI for coming to the conclusion that you should start smoking again. Get a stress ball and squeeze it If you want to calm yourself down
PhishloverA 14
You basically were saying "F*** my life" for smoking and you're saying it again if you want to go back to smoking