Today, my dad got drunk and played a practical joke on me; a practical joke that resulted in my knee being broken. Now, I'm sitting in a hospital bed all alone while my dad hunts for "hot nurses". FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my dad picked me up from school, something he'll be doing while my broken leg heals. He thought it'd be hilarious to arrive early and ask the staff where his "crippled" son was, loudly saying I'd broken my leg in a "masturbation-related accident". FML
Today, I drove 10 hours on a broken foot to get away, because my drunk dad decided to shove me to the ground multiple times, and now I have to get fusion surgery on my foot. I also found out he’s trying to get me arrested for burglary. FML
Today, after a stay at the hospital for two broken legs, I finally got home and attempted to relax. My dad went to hand me the remote and dropped it right on my nuts. FML
Today, my dad came home drunk and called me hot. FML
Today, while very sick, throwing up in a bucket beside my bed, my dad came in pushed my face into the bucket. For a laugh, apparently. FML
Today, while relaxing in the kitchen drinking coffee, my dad suddenly rushed in, knocking me over and causing me to spill boiling hot coffee all over myself. Then, my dad thought it would be a good idea to grab the sprayer from the sink and douse me with cold water in order to "put me out." FML
Today, my dad got extremely drunk, so I took away his car keys and left on foot. When I came back, I saw that he had broken down my door. Now my dad is mad at me for not giving him the keys when he was drunk, and I'm door-less. FML
Today, I came home to find my dad drinking. Trying to be cheerful, I greeted him with a "Hi, dad!" He sighed, shook his head, and said "It hurts me when you call me that." FML
Today, my dad got drunk at a party and flashed me and my friends. FML
Today, my dad brought me home after I was in the hospital for a week. He gets me to my room, hands me a glass of water and some granola bars, then leaves me on my own so he can go play golf. FML
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Top comments
HotCheetos22 4
Your dad is a jerk.
micah38 5
WTF was the prank?!!!
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Comments (113)
HotCheetos22 4
Your dad is a jerk.
biggestfan23 11
Sure won't be winning any dad of the year awards anytime soon
unsuccesfulmastu 4
Her dad is a champ. He had a plan all along to take her to the hospital so he can give the hot nurses their physical ;)
justjazzmyn 3
i kind of wonder if her drunk dad is the one who drove her to the hospital too...
kakarot2 11
I used to be a practical joker... But then I...*gets shot in the face*
HeavyWeaponsGuy 21
ᵔᴥᵔ
micah38 5
WTF was the prank?!!!
JFurr 9
He was imitating William Tell. Unfortunately, he missed and OP took an arrow to the knee.
reallytho3 11
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
The execution of tht joke was turrible...
MidnaLink 35
45 so was your spelling
trivel64 16
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
45 so was your life
downtime 13
The prank was probably just breaking her knee, sounds like the sort of thing you'd expect from a drunkard.
Pixelatedpotato 28
I was thinking hiding next to a door with a baseball bat.
Cartera 10
Hey, you gotta respect a playa.
THE_A_TEEN 28
Unfortunately, I don't respect idiots who can't handle their alcohol intake and put their kids at risk.
TriflingAllDay 6
Actually, how could I not respect Drunk Dad of the Year.
Cartera 10
Sarcasm, guys. Chill out.
AnagenisisZagus 13
Doesn't sound much like sarcasm. It appears more a joke gone wrong.
Calyx_fml 22
What if he was looking for a hot male nurse to give you a sponge bath?
hockeyoceancity 13
Then practical joke dad strikes again!
spicy095 1
No the op is a girl
ChefPhilly 13
" Well isn't that just a knee slapper..!" Oh nevermind, that would hurt, wouldn't it...?
HelloChrissy 9
Jeeze, must of been one wild prank. Hope your ok OP. :)
21jason 9
Maybe he can hook you up! Play a joke on him and tell the nurses he has erectile dysfunction
PrettyKookieToo 8
And the parent of the year award goes to...
br0ccoli 15
dad to nurse: "You work here? You look sexy in that uniform." "Oh, dad. There you are. The doctor just gave me the anti-hemorrhoid medication for you. He said that you can wear a pad on your backside to catch the uncontrollable bleeding and that it should stop soon."
freshaf_fml 3
Get him back? :3
TrueTriage 16
By the rules of pranks OP would have to one up her dad... How do you beat a broken knee?
ALpein 0
I could tell you... but it won't be pretty.
Michael_92 20
Well that's easy. Two broken knees.