Today, a week after I quit smoking, I lit up again. Was it stress? Cravings? No. I haven't had a crap since I quit, and can't take this gut ache anymore. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, as I was smoking a cigarette I realized that it's time to quit. This realization came to me after a particularly violent coughing bout forced not tar out of my lungs, but rather poo out of my bum. FML
Today, I gave up smoking. A few hours later, I caught myself daydreaming about brutally killing a guy that gave me a mean look at the bus. Maybe I should go back to smoking. FML
Today, I decided to quit smoking. During my lunch break, I tried to ash the KitKat bar that was in my hand after I took a bite. FML
Today, I realised why I’m so irritable these days. My former flatmate smoked so many cigarettes that, now he’s moved out and taken the smoke with him, I’m going through nicotine withdrawal. I realised this after I saw cigarettes in a shop and couldn’t stop staring at them. FML
Today, I found I had rolled, and was smoking a cigarette without realising it after proudly entering my third day of being a non-smoker. FML
Today, I decided to quit smoking and put on a nicotine patch. I decided to have one last cigarette and ended up sick at the doctors with nicotine poisoning. FML
Today, after secretly smoking for more than two years, I decided to quit. I came home from work to see my wife holding a pack and asking me what was it doing behind the toilet seat. FML
Today, I quit smoking. It seems that when you don't smoke for almost 24 hours, your sense of smell comes back. I then noticed how disgusting my apartment smells. Great. FML
Today, I learned that when you quit smoking, you get "Smoker Flu", meaning you feel like you're coming down with something really horrible. The good news is that my throat is so raw, I couldn't smoke a cigarette if I wanted to. FML
Today, I finally found a reason to quit smoking. I threw my cigarette butt out the window and it blew back in, went down the back of my pants, and burnt my butt in 3 different places. FML
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Top comments
Snailfarts 27
just have some prunes, my dude
FerociousCookie 12
Laxatives and/or more fibre in your diet help with that. I go through the same thing any time I stop drinking for a while.
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Comments (8)
thefmlman2011 37
Damn, what a crappy situation
Ambrily 27
Un-crappy*
FerociousCookie 12
Laxatives and/or more fibre in your diet help with that. I go through the same thing any time I stop drinking for a while.
phybreawptic 13
Magnesium citrate will fix that right up
Sady_Ct 38
I quote smoking a week ago too! And I’m also from Queensland! Try vaping! Soo much better. You will have to order your nicotine in but Axel from Super Vape Store will help you right out!
Brendan Schnopp 7
definition of shit advice
xxlk4xx 6
coffee and vaping! and it tastes better too!
Snailfarts 27
just have some prunes, my dude
coius 23
Be glad you aren’t on my pain killers. Those make my digestive system go backwards. Imagine no matter how much fiber you take, or laxatives consumed, you still can’t crap without it looking like a bloody murderfest from the strain and push required to evacuate a 747 Max out of your colon.
Dylan Borg 12
just drink a litre of water and take 2-3 coffees back-to-back in the morning. You will explode like a volcano. Also, once you are so stuck, one poop leads to the next, and the next.. happy ********!