Today, I gave up smoking. A few hours later, I caught myself daydreaming about brutally killing a guy that gave me a mean look at the bus. Maybe I should go back to smoking. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I decided to quit smoking. During my lunch break, I tried to ash the KitKat bar that was in my hand after I took a bite. FML
Today, I'm going cold turkey with my drinking and smoking habits. I'm so irritable, I seriously considered running down an old lady who was taking her damn sweet time crossing the road, then shooting the guy in the car behind me for honking at me like I was holding everyone up. FML
Today, a week after I quit smoking, I lit up again. Was it stress? Cravings? No. I haven't had a crap since I quit, and can't take this gut ache anymore. FML
Today, I realised why I’m so irritable these days. My former flatmate smoked so many cigarettes that, now he’s moved out and taken the smoke with him, I’m going through nicotine withdrawal. I realised this after I saw cigarettes in a shop and couldn’t stop staring at them. FML
Today, I found I had rolled, and was smoking a cigarette without realising it after proudly entering my third day of being a non-smoker. FML
Today, I gave a man a cigarette. He spent the rest of the day so far following me around, telling me all about his medical history, and chasing after me when I got too far away. I couldn't get rid of him for hours. FML
Today, I decided to quit smoking and put on a nicotine patch. I decided to have one last cigarette and ended up sick at the doctors with nicotine poisoning. FML
Today, as I was smoking a cigarette I realized that it's time to quit. This realization came to me after a particularly violent coughing bout forced not tar out of my lungs, but rather poo out of my bum. FML
Today, after secretly smoking for more than two years, I decided to quit. I came home from work to see my wife holding a pack and asking me what was it doing behind the toilet seat. FML
Today, I finally found a reason to quit smoking. I threw my cigarette butt out the window and it blew back in, went down the back of my pants, and burnt my butt in 3 different places. FML
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Top comments
TacoTheGlorious 6
Stay strong, it'll get better(:
Viciousstorms 7
Congratulations on trying to quit smoking. Although, there's easier alternatives than just stopping such as nicotine and maybe quitting slowly but surely will make you calmer.
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Comments (87)
babyguns143 5
How is this an FML?
jmsbigley 6
smoking actually increases your blood pressure ... so maybe you had those thoughts cause you started smoking in the first place.
rexreta 5
At least don't quit cold turkey like that.
meandmyself206 4
Hey at least ur tryin. Plus u have a excuse for bein irritable. other ppl dnt
rarinbug839 0
That's about normal for me an I've never smoked so don't be worried
McChronicals 0
haha, hard core. i know im pretty bad without a morning smoke. ur brave!
HeartOfLead 24
Well at least you and most people have something in common( it's not the smoking).
88vivera 9
No don't go back to smoking u r doing the right thing
cupkay 7
i quit once too, on the 3rd day i cried because i bent a spoon handle.
grant_connor 9
YDI for starting smoking in the first place