Today, I gave up smoking. A few hours later, I caught myself daydreaming about brutally killing a guy that gave me a mean look at the bus. Maybe I should go back to smoking. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I decided to quit smoking. During my lunch break, I tried to ash the KitKat bar that was in my hand after I took a bite. FML
Today, I'm going cold turkey with my drinking and smoking habits. I'm so irritable, I seriously considered running down an old lady who was taking her damn sweet time crossing the road, then shooting the guy in the car behind me for honking at me like I was holding everyone up. FML
Today, a week after I quit smoking, I lit up again. Was it stress? Cravings? No. I haven't had a crap since I quit, and can't take this gut ache anymore. FML
Today, I realised why I’m so irritable these days. My former flatmate smoked so many cigarettes that, now he’s moved out and taken the smoke with him, I’m going through nicotine withdrawal. I realised this after I saw cigarettes in a shop and couldn’t stop staring at them. FML
Today, I found I had rolled, and was smoking a cigarette without realising it after proudly entering my third day of being a non-smoker. FML
Today, I gave a man a cigarette. He spent the rest of the day so far following me around, telling me all about his medical history, and chasing after me when I got too far away. I couldn't get rid of him for hours. FML
Today, I decided to quit smoking and put on a nicotine patch. I decided to have one last cigarette and ended up sick at the doctors with nicotine poisoning. FML
Today, as I was smoking a cigarette I realized that it's time to quit. This realization came to me after a particularly violent coughing bout forced not tar out of my lungs, but rather poo out of my bum. FML
Today, after secretly smoking for more than two years, I decided to quit. I came home from work to see my wife holding a pack and asking me what was it doing behind the toilet seat. FML
Today, I finally found a reason to quit smoking. I threw my cigarette butt out the window and it blew back in, went down the back of my pants, and burnt my butt in 3 different places. FML
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Top comments
TacoTheGlorious 6
Stay strong, it'll get better(:
Viciousstorms 7
Congratulations on trying to quit smoking. Although, there's easier alternatives than just stopping such as nicotine and maybe quitting slowly but surely will make you calmer.
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Comments (87)
oscar6464 8
Easy way to quiet is not to give it all up at once, cut what you smoke in half, and after that keep taking more and more away until you are no longer feel that urge. Congrats by the way.
SkoomaKi 28
You need something to calm down. Do NOT listen to whale noises, you'll go insane or ocean sounds because that will make you need to take a leak every time. Stress balls are always good and other focus inducing activities.
courtz94 24
You're cranky because you've stopped smoking, but smoking again won't help. Try a healthier way to express emotions.
naughtylez82 4
First off congrats op on giving up smoking. Wish I could! Hang in there they say the first week is the hardest . I'm gonna say fyl on this one cause nicotine withdrawal is hell on earth
stormchaser24 24
Try that gum or patch. One of my friends had the same problem, even the killing part.
unknown_user5566 27
Kudos to you, OP. I haven't quit smoking yet because I'm afraid of turning into a psychotic bitch. I hope the quitting goes well, and is murder-free. ;)
DevilBoi69x 0
I quit a few times before but each time after a few weeks my family and friends offer me smokes because they're tired of me flipping out at the smallest things... A spoon put backwards in the dish rack can send me into a full psycho mode lol.
DocBastard 40
Yes, your first instinct is correct. At the first sign of withdrawal, go back to doing one of the stupidest still-legal things on the planet. Perfect plan.
derkster 6
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Smoking cig right now ahhh love smoke breaks at work
DocBastard 40
Great! Enjoy your cigarettes! I'll see you in my office soon for one of the approximately 9,482,039 problems associated with smoking.
yahoowizard 16
Why do you pot heads have to butt in your ideals into every single FML mentioning anything about smoking.
Bladian 5
Smoking a cigarette does not equal a pot head. Idiot.
brianjman14 23
Cigarettes have pot in them now?!
McNerdyNerd 8
I have a legitimate question...why does everyone flip out on people for smoking, but no one cares about drinking? Alcohol can be just as harmful, but no one goes crazy on them. Just a curiousity :)
yahoowizard 16
I'm sorry if i was mistaken, but most people, or at least a large majority of people whining how pot should be legalized keep talking about how it's retarded that cigarettes are legal. Haven't heard the argument much from non pot smokers, but yes my original comment was quite vague
chefomon 2
Good decision! Don't let a stray thought/daydream shake your confidence. Plus, I bet everyone here has had such moments at least once in their lives ;)
afwritoes 14
You can do it! :)
RedPillSucks 33
Quitting is easy. I do it at least three times a week. Seriously, don't quit cold turkey. Try some of those patches or gums that gradually reduce the nicotine content.