Today, I gave up smoking. A few hours later, I caught myself daydreaming about brutally killing a guy that gave me a mean look at the bus. Maybe I should go back to smoking. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I decided to quit smoking. During my lunch break, I tried to ash the KitKat bar that was in my hand after I took a bite. FML
Today, I'm going cold turkey with my drinking and smoking habits. I'm so irritable, I seriously considered running down an old lady who was taking her damn sweet time crossing the road, then shooting the guy in the car behind me for honking at me like I was holding everyone up. FML
Today, a week after I quit smoking, I lit up again. Was it stress? Cravings? No. I haven't had a crap since I quit, and can't take this gut ache anymore. FML
Today, I realised why I’m so irritable these days. My former flatmate smoked so many cigarettes that, now he’s moved out and taken the smoke with him, I’m going through nicotine withdrawal. I realised this after I saw cigarettes in a shop and couldn’t stop staring at them. FML
Today, I found I had rolled, and was smoking a cigarette without realising it after proudly entering my third day of being a non-smoker. FML
Today, I gave a man a cigarette. He spent the rest of the day so far following me around, telling me all about his medical history, and chasing after me when I got too far away. I couldn't get rid of him for hours. FML
Today, I decided to quit smoking and put on a nicotine patch. I decided to have one last cigarette and ended up sick at the doctors with nicotine poisoning. FML
Today, as I was smoking a cigarette I realized that it's time to quit. This realization came to me after a particularly violent coughing bout forced not tar out of my lungs, but rather poo out of my bum. FML
Today, after secretly smoking for more than two years, I decided to quit. I came home from work to see my wife holding a pack and asking me what was it doing behind the toilet seat. FML
Today, I finally found a reason to quit smoking. I threw my cigarette butt out the window and it blew back in, went down the back of my pants, and burnt my butt in 3 different places. FML
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Top comments
TacoTheGlorious 6
Stay strong, it'll get better(:
Viciousstorms 7
Congratulations on trying to quit smoking. Although, there's easier alternatives than just stopping such as nicotine and maybe quitting slowly but surely will make you calmer.
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Comments (87)
jerzey1313 0
Lmfao yeah maybe start slowly on the quitting thing before u murder someone
Calyx_fml 22
Smoke weed instead. It'll chill you out.
Jeffers123 5
My god guys! U all go and make comments like "congrats!", all u guys want is popular comments, it's an fml not an intervention, just laugh, make a ruby comment and move on. Don't be a kiss up to likes
Jeffers123 5
Funny* not ruby*
Brujo666 0
**** what everyone is saying. I came to that conclusion years ago. Cigarettes do give you cancer, but it saves lives too. Like dude on the bus. They saved the op from death row as well. Keep smoking dude.
awesomeAlexx0 0
Slowly back off from 1 pack to half to 3 to 2 to 1 to half a cig then ur off
bjf10 22
Stay strong. You can do it!
blue2012 7
No don't go back or u will end up with COPD & u dont want that. Plus it's natural for ppl to feel like that.
lordEast 6
Your holding where I was the last time I quit. It gets better. Just don't give in to the temptation of the smokey Madonna
outoftown 27
OP, best of luck. But if you fall back, keep trying. It really does get easier. Now, the thinking about killing someone part? If they blow smoke in my face... grrrr
dankoneon 3
I just quit today too and felt the exact same way chin up. We can do this!!