Today, I gave up smoking. A few hours later, I caught myself daydreaming about brutally killing a guy that gave me a mean look at the bus. Maybe I should go back to smoking. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I decided to quit smoking. During my lunch break, I tried to ash the KitKat bar that was in my hand after I took a bite. FML
Today, I'm going cold turkey with my drinking and smoking habits. I'm so irritable, I seriously considered running down an old lady who was taking her damn sweet time crossing the road, then shooting the guy in the car behind me for honking at me like I was holding everyone up. FML
Today, a week after I quit smoking, I lit up again. Was it stress? Cravings? No. I haven't had a crap since I quit, and can't take this gut ache anymore. FML
Today, I realised why I’m so irritable these days. My former flatmate smoked so many cigarettes that, now he’s moved out and taken the smoke with him, I’m going through nicotine withdrawal. I realised this after I saw cigarettes in a shop and couldn’t stop staring at them. FML
Today, I found I had rolled, and was smoking a cigarette without realising it after proudly entering my third day of being a non-smoker. FML
Today, I gave a man a cigarette. He spent the rest of the day so far following me around, telling me all about his medical history, and chasing after me when I got too far away. I couldn't get rid of him for hours. FML
Today, I decided to quit smoking and put on a nicotine patch. I decided to have one last cigarette and ended up sick at the doctors with nicotine poisoning. FML
Today, as I was smoking a cigarette I realized that it's time to quit. This realization came to me after a particularly violent coughing bout forced not tar out of my lungs, but rather poo out of my bum. FML
Today, after secretly smoking for more than two years, I decided to quit. I came home from work to see my wife holding a pack and asking me what was it doing behind the toilet seat. FML
Today, I finally found a reason to quit smoking. I threw my cigarette butt out the window and it blew back in, went down the back of my pants, and burnt my butt in 3 different places. FML
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Top comments
TacoTheGlorious 6
Stay strong, it'll get better(:
Viciousstorms 7
Congratulations on trying to quit smoking. Although, there's easier alternatives than just stopping such as nicotine and maybe quitting slowly but surely will make you calmer.
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Comments (87)
TacoTheGlorious 6
Stay strong, it'll get better(:
derkster 6
I said **** it smoke it till your lung collapse
TheDrudgeChild 4
28 - I won't give you the generic DARE speech, so I'll just say that even though that's not the best choice, you're entitled to it. OP, try electronic cigarettes instead of quitting cold turkey.
888pickles888 4
Dont.
owlfeatures 8
It will get better OP, I promise, once you succumb to the murderous thoughts and join us you will be fine ;D
NerdsWillRule 3
OP deserved it for smoking in the first place.
ClassyCommando 13
If you smoke marijuana, you will have murderous thoughts, but they will be about ripping apart bags of Doritos and devouring them.
heygirlie777 21
Maybe it wasn't a dream.
fymother 13
That "mean look" was just that guy's face
ygdrassil 17
Thoughts of cruel murder aren't the normal response to mild annoyance? Shit, maybe I should take up smoking.
mrs_bruno_mars 14
YDI. Smoking doesn't suppress that crap, anyway.
countrygirl626 16
To people who smoke, it's usually a stress relief. It was probably the OP's stress relief.
seriouslythat 6
Smoking calms people down i think op needs something to calm him down
iGrassYourSister 6
actually smoking doesn't calm you down, you get extra stressed when nicotine levels in your blood falls and when you smoke again u get that "relief" from stress which is mainly caused by smoking itself. I pity you fools, you are good for nothing but your sisters
sonuskos 6
So regardless he gets rid of some stress when he smokes
Senseless_487 29
You're absolutely right. OP does deserve to quit smoking. It's great for his health!
Forlorn420 9
Just switch to weed. You won't wanna cause anyone harm for any reason
andiewithlove 21
Haha 46 - You ******* cheated on me!? Duuuuude. That cuts deep bro.....pass me the funyons.....
andiewithlove 21
Whoops, *48*.....slightly epic fail right there...
honestyslife 9
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Smoking doesn't "calm" people. In fact it does the opposite. That's why this person should stop smoking because it's bad for their health
iKendall 3
.. Lol K
sierraleeannee 13
It does help. I get stressed often, usually when I haven't smoked for a couple hours. I get really frustrated and almost have a breakdown. Kinda sad I know. :( but I couldn't quit even if I tried.
BeforeItWasCool 12
2- You have clearly never been under stress whilst being a smoker. Can't count the days I've been knee deep in work, beyond breaking point with my workload, irritating coworkers, idiot drivers, whining kids, endless problems, and a smoke has calmed me right down. Without cigarettes I'd be severely homicidal, so yes, it does suppress "that crap".
Rowdey 10
My shop teacher threw a nail gun as hard as he could against the wall when he quit dipping. Nicotine definitely calms you down lol.
Rowdey 10
My shop teacher threw a nail gun as hard as he could against the wall when he quit dipping. Nicotine definitely calms you down lol.
doctorhook86 25
What #88 said. Nicotine only calms down people who are experiencing nicotine withdrawal. Nicotine will have the opposite (physiologically stressful) effect on someone who's never been addicted to it.
tehdarkness 21
You're right! Why they think you're wrong??
louiseth 9
People who smoke do it to get down to the level of relaxation that people who don't smoke generally feel every day.
36591951 9
2 - Take up smoking then come back and tell us what it does and does not suppress. OP good on you for trying
PlaySpades 21
They're right. Plenty of studies show smoking only eliminates the stress to your body that is caused by the cigarettes themselves so while it may feel like you're lowering your stress levels, in reality you're just leveling out to where you would've been had you never started smoking in the first place.
mrs_bruno_mars 14
123- Just so you know, I HAVE smoked. Just because I have a different opinion than you based on my experiences while I smoked doesn't give you a right to act all high and mighty around me.
BeforeItWasCool 12
130- You do realise people are also allowed an opinion? Having an opinion that differs to your own is not being "all high and mighty". Don't expect anyone to sugar coat things on the Internet, it's not that kind of place.
36591951 9
You smoking doesn't mean you were addicted to the nicotine. It could mean you've had 2 cigarettes. If you really were addicted you'll show support not post comments with no thought
fuzz97 23
You're right, mrs_bruno_mars. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. It just so happens that yours is wrong.
Viciousstorms 7
Congratulations on trying to quit smoking. Although, there's easier alternatives than just stopping such as nicotine and maybe quitting slowly but surely will make you calmer.
onlychildFTW 34
OP should slowly just go from for example 2 packs a day, too 1, then half and so forth. And OP should try a different way to release stress other then wanting to kill people on the bus for looking at them.
bfsd42 20
Cutting down does not work, but only makes it more difficult. Preparing yourself mentally and quitting cold turkey is the way. 14 years smoking and not touching a single cigarette for over 3 years now, I can say that it works.
xleanne_aLly 23
Cutting down is how I quit smoking. All my friends who quit cold turkey never made it.
zandalee 20
Those nicotine patches are the way to go! If I did it (& yes it was bloody hard) anyone can do it. I'm not saying that I was perfectly pleasant for the first month or two, but I didn't kill anyone either! Been two years now since I quit! Do not give up OP!!!!!
Hiimhaileypotter 53
Congratulations on trying to quit :) don't give in! It'll get better.
TrueTriage 16
Going from daydreaming about brutally killing one guy to daydreaming about...? It does get worse before better. OP is in for a rough week good luck to him though!
Hiimhaileypotter 53
I guess for some people it's worse than others. My grandpa smoked from around age 15-40, give or take a few years. One day he decided to quit, and just stopped cold turkey. He hasn't had another one to this day, and he's 58. For most people this isn't possible. I guess he's just stubborn xP
glutgyoogle 6
Oof that's rough...
HeartOfLead 24
Not as rough as the man's feelings in OP's fantasy.
MCRaddict15 15
Quitting smoking isn't easy. You'll have a lot of crap come your way, and get pissed off at the smallest things. If you're serious about it, it will happen.
SqueakyChipmunk 22
My mother has the same problem. What I did was go out and buy he one of those electronic cigarettes. She says they taste like regular menthols and I don't get burned or smell like her smoke as much as I used to.
bighomie206 0
Most people have urges to brutally kill somebody,so it's nothing special. I know I do. Stupid neighbors
jizzwold 21
Yeah if I go through a day without fantasizing about dismembering and disemboweling every other person I see then its an odd day for me and I've never smoked tobacco.
j_cat187 20
Killing is overrated but mutilation is different. Removing fingernails and eyelids with a pair of pliers is much more entertaining.
j_cat187 20
Too evil?
chocolatepandas 2
Was he smoking?
linkinpark98 24
Don't worry OP, I also have the urge to brutally kill someone… I don't even smoke!
capper44 18
Dont worry OP, one of my closest buddy left smoking suddenly one day and he had to put against all of these nightmares and stuff. But guess what! Its been more than a year he didnt touch smoke at all, while it wasnt easy but dont worry OP u will get through it too Good Luck
jizzwold 21
Wow he didn't touch smoke? That's amazing.